If You Do One Thing in 2009

Go see Avatar. Saw it yesterday in IMAX 3D, and it was spectacular. For now on I'm doing everything in IMAX 3D. Yup, that's right, eating, sleeping, sexing and blogging will all be in IMAX 3D. Is the world ready for it? That's what we'll find out in 2010.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Drunk Ass

Ladies and Gentlemen, Democratic Senator Max Baucus...

Pick the Porn Star

Not only did Ben and I interview the porntastic Mason Wyler for this week's Six Pack, but we also went out with him last week in NYC. Sure he was recognized a little more than the two of us, but sometimes one does need their ego checked.

Now, tell me, which one of us is the porn star, which the comedian, and which the DJ?

Tricky, ain't it?

Life in the Fastlane

I've been running around like a crazy person the last couple days, but fear not, I haven't forgotten about the good citizens of Rubinville. Actually, I'm writing this while on a train out to New Jersey, aka the state that garbage built.* This trip is to help a buddy move some furniture around his house.

Oh, the life of a star.

New Six Pack up tomorrow featuring our interiew with porn star Mason Wyler and a brand new Craigslist Missed Connections Set to Lovesongs with some holiday spirit.

*It should be noted that despite the smell, I do really like Jersey and many friends and family live there. But can't they just spray some Febreeze every now and again?

Kinda a Witness to Murder

Whoa, looks like this situation across the street is way worse than as first reported. Turns out four people are dead, three by being shot and the forth from falling off the roof. It's the lead story on all the local news and also was picked up by the cable news channels.

It's really wierd watching something on TV that is happening just feet from you. I'm tempted to call CNN and offer Wolf Blitzer my couch if he wants to do some actual reporting outside of The Situation Room.

With all this media standing right outside my door I should either go bring them hot chocolate or do an improptu comedy show.

Hmm, it looks like I'm out of hot chocolate, so...

Upper West Siiiiiiiiiiide

As any of you loyal readers know, I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, which in my humble opinion is the best part of NYC. It's a great mix of young and old, poor and rich, gay and straight, and, as of today, shot and not-shot.

Yes, that's right, someone was just shot directly across the street from my building.

No, it wasn't me, but wouldn't that have been something if I had gotten shot and my last breath on Earth was taken while writing this? Now that's commitment.

I snapped that picture about five minutes ago and rumor was that the shooter was holed up inside the building. I'm gonna take Emma out to sniff around and see if we can find some clues.

Dave Rubin: Comedian/Murder Inspector*

*That's what they call people who take their dogs for walks near crime scenes, right?

Champion

My team won the NYC Gay Basketball Championship game last night, giving me my third ever basketball title. (One in the Urban-Pro League and one in the Chelsea Piers League before this.) I only scored five points but I had this big dunk near the end to help put the game away.

Yes, I look black while playing basketball, that's just how it is...

Two Men and a Boat

That's Ben and I during our Friday night, first-ever, live Six Pack, aboard the Liberty of the Seas. The theater sat an amazing 1,400 people (hard to believe on a boat), and I'd say about 90 percent of our group was there to laugh and have a good time. For reasons too convoluted to explain, I actually came out in red high-heels, but somehow there is no photographic evidence of it, at least from what I've been sent, so far. (I probably should count my lucky stars for that.)

We've incorporated much of the live show in Six Pack #25, which you can listen to by visiting our website or just clicking here.

I must say that the hardest part of not being on a cruise after a week of being on one is returning to a non-buffet lifestyle. I had pizza for dinner last night and so wanted to finish it off with some baked beans and a waffle...

Back to Reality

I'm still waiting for the pics from the cruise to be sent over to me, so in the meantime this artistic picture of four-feet and two flip-flops will have to suffice. But which feet are mine, and which are Ben's? You decide.

The trip was an absolutely fantastic week of sun, relaxing, drinking and eating. (In no particular order.) Six Pack#25, should be up in a day or two with the full wrap-up.

In the meantime I have about 50 new buffet jokes I need to write down...

Payback

I'm writing this week off as payback for many years of crappy comedy gigs. 'Nuf said...

Room with a View

The trip to the Caribbean has been amazing so far. Lots of sun and pool and meeting great people. Only have a second to check in, but here is a quick shot of Ben and I on our balcony. It looks like we're about to steer directly into the ship behind us, so I should probably go tell someone.

Hope all is well on land...

Talking (One Day Before Eating) Turkey

As an early Thanksgiving treat, I present you all with Six Pack #24. In it, amongst the usual hilarity and irreverence, we interview Oscar winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, actor Victor Garber, comedian Judy Gold, and noted homosexual Lance Bass.

After Thanksgiving Ben and I are off on the Royal Caribbean cruise that we'll be performing on for Pied Piper Travel. I can confirm there is wi-fi on the boat and we will be blogging, tweeting, Facebooking and several other things that are better left unsaid.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, everyone...

McCrazy

No this isn't a picture of the lobby of the W Hotel in midtown, it is actually a picture of the newly redesigned McDonald's here in Chelsea. Considering that the McDonald's near my apartment makes you go to the counter just to get napkins, this certainly seems like a step-up. Since this is a bit off-brand for McD's, I will check it out sometime this week and let you know. Maybe Ben and I can podcast from there, I'm sure they have wi-fi in such a fancy, french-fry, fast-food, food-court.

Oh, and as long as I'm discussing these such establishments, I went to Subway yesterday only to find out that the turkey no longer qualifies as a 5 Dollar Footlong sandwich. For $7.08 I can go get a real sandwich. Jared can go f*ck himself.

Ok, gym time, you know, gotta work off all this fast-food...

I Love Lucy...err, Lily

One of the best moments of last week on Frank's show was getting the chance to interview the fantabulous Lily Tomlin. The whole interview was about 20 minutes long but I've clipped it down to about five minutes and even inserted this nifty little audio player for you to check it out. Just click play...

Yes, she did LOL at a couple of my lines. Pretty, pretty good...

BD In Honor of MJ

LeBron James announced a few days ago that he is changing his jersey number from "23" to "6" in homage to Michael Jordan. Cynics are saying that LeBron is doing to sell a whole crap load of new jerseys, but I'd rather think it is just about his love of basketball history. I'm such a romantic.

While Lebron's motives for changing his jersey number are up for debate, Ben and I are proud to present the Six Pack #23 for all the right reasons. Just click here and enjoy...

Our Names in (Blue) Lights

Tomorrow is our final day guest hosting The Frank Decaro Show. It's really been a blast so far, and the energy and people over there really make for an all-natural Red Bull. Plus having our names on a little blue screen is pretty cool, too.

Full recap of the week tomorrow. As if you haven't been listening, but of course you have...

We Love Milk

We hit the red carpet last night for the Emory Awards, given by the Hetrick Martin Institute, which is the home of the Harvey Milk School. We interviewed Lance Bass, Judy Gold, Dustin Lance Black, Victor Garber and Newark Mayor Corey Booker, just to name a few. The interviews will be posted throughout the next two episodes of the Six Pack.

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, Ben and I are actually wearing ties in that picture. And as Patrick from Delaware said on Facebook, we remind him of a black-and-white cookie. Hmm, you know, I think I'll reward myself with one of those for a job well-done...

(Note: I am forgoing the obvious Milk and cookie joke despite all my natural urges.)

Sirius(ly) Ben and Dave

And to think we are on an audio-only medium. Pretty upsetting, isn't it?

That's Ben and I at his big, gay Brooklyn party, Gumbo, on Thursday night. It was a rockin' evening and I must say that my Brokeback Mountain-inspired shirt stole the show.

We're guest hosting The Frank Decaro Show all this week, from 11 am to 2 pm eastern, on Sirius OutQ channel 109, or XM channel 98. You can download a free trial (which even has an iphone player now) right here.

Oh, and tell 'em Ben and Dave sent ya.

(It won't do anything for you, but it's just fun to say things like that...)

Hideki (Insert Something That Rhymes with Hideki)

It's only the fifth inning of game 6 of the World Series, but seeing as the Yankees lead 7-1, I'm gonna say that the Yanks will win their 27th World Series in about an hour from now. I'm also gonna say that in about an hour and five minutes from now people will vandalize random cars and stores and burn garbage cans throughout NYC.

Prove me wrong, drunken Yankee fans, prove me wrong!

One guy who won't be proven wrong, at least tonight, is Yankee designated-hitter Hideki Matsui, who has 6 RBI's already. I'm guessing sushi places all over NYC will have specials in honor of him tomorrow. At least the ones that aren't destroyed in the celebratory rioting.

Prove me wrong drunken Yankee fans, prove me wrong!

Alright, that's it for now, I'm gonna go get some orange juice for the morning. Hmm, maybe I should put on my bullet-proof vest in case the celebrating has started early.

Prove me wrong drunken Yankee fans, prove me wrong!

Miami is Nice, So I'll Say it Twice, Miami is Nice, Miami is Nice

Firstly, kudos and mad props to anyone who gets the reference in the title of this post. If you Google it, you'll only be cheating yourself, so don't even try.

The picture is of my brother and I in Miami on Saturday morning. He has often commented that he doesn't get enough play here on Rubinville, so hopefully this makes up for it. (Note: He is not a Jets fan, he just likes the color.)

The bachelor party weekend in Miami was fantastic. It included (in no order), food, drinking, stories, drinking, food, laughing, stories, beaching, pooling, drinking, boating, drinking, swimming, masticating, tanning, drinking, eating and a tiny bit of sleeping.

Yes, I said masticating. And it doesn't mean what your thinking. That one you can Google.

Episode 22 of the Six Pack went up this morning. Seeing as it is now after 5 in the afternoon you are clearly are on your third or fourth listen of the day. Pretty good, right?

Happy Halloween!

I'm off to Miami for the weekend for my cousin's bachelor party. So, since I won't be here to scare you on the actual day itself, here is a pre-Halloween fright for you, courtesy of our fantastic graphics guy, Andy Diehl.

I'd write more but I gotta pack for the trip. And I'm also having a strange craving for brains...

Pretty Effin' Brilliant

The above is a letter from (I still can't believe it) California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, to the members of the California State Assembly. This normally would be rather innocuous, but upon closer inspection if you take the first letter of each line starting with the word "For" and go down, it appears that he is saying, "Fuck You" to the assembly. I'm not sure what the chances are that it could be unintentional, but it's more fun to think it was intentional regardless, in which case, good work, Arnold.

Hmm, that reminds me, I need to write a letter or two myself. Ah, but where to start?

300,000 More Reasons to Love Bea

It was announced earlier today that Bea Arthur has left $300,000 from her estate to The Ali Forney Center, an organization that offers housing, food, clothing and much more to LGBT homeless youth here in NYC. Bea didn't just believe in this cause in posthumously though, she actually did a free performance of her Broadway show for the center about four years ago, which I went to, even though I had seen the show already. She was brilliant, of course, and clearly it was a worth cause, too.

She isn't the only giver in these hard times, however. It should be noted that earlier today I gave 30 cents to the guy who holds the door open at the bodega...

New Yorkidelphia

The Yankees are in the World Series for the first time since 2004. Interestingly, it also the first time in five years that I didn't attend even a single game, though I guess that could just be a coincidence. In any event, it's New York v. Philadelphia. Hot dogs v. cheesesteaks. Spider-Man (from Queens) v. Rocky Balboa. Something else from NY v. something else from Philly. It's all very exciting. I'll say Yanks in seven games.

Six Pack #21 up this morning. Click here, you lazy bum, you...

First Row View

Being big-time podcasts does have its benefits, such as yesterday, when Ben and I were seated in the first row of the audience at The View. Special thanks to my friend Tom Kelly, the warmup comedian, who gave us a shout-out and had the whole crowd give us a round of applause.

Unfortunately, we didn't get a chance to say hi to Joy and tell her about the new segment in honor of her that we debuted on episode 20 of the Six Pack, but Sherri came over and said hi which was really nice. I was gonna ask her to borrow a wig, but Ben said that'd be in poor taste.

We also were given juice and cookies before the show, which I thought was just for VIP's like us, but then I noticed even people in the upper-tier got them, too. Good for them though, they must've been hungry after climbing those stairs to get to their seats.

So, that's it for my last time at The View before being a guest. Next time I'll be on the couch and with a fruit-basket, like all the guests get. (According to my inside sources.)

Perhaps more later, there's only one way to find out...

Enjoy The View

As the big stars we are, Ben and I are headed to The View tomorrow. Sure, maybe we're just sitting in the crowd, but remember, it's small steps people, small steps.

Last time we were there we sat literally in the first two seats of the first row, so it will be hard to top that this time. Hmm, I wonder if Whoopi wants to sit on my lap.

This will be my last time going to The View as an audience member and not a guest. C'mon Secret, don't fail me now.

Full update tomorrow afternoon..

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I Blame Disney

How'd we all not see this coming?

Shake, Shake, Shake

I really can't even write funny comments for this one, it just kinda does it for itself...

Taping Six Pack tonight. There's so much going on this week that we've got more stories than you can shake a barbell at...

There's An App For That

Apple has tightwads up in arms over a new Pepsi-sponsored app called, "Amp Up Before You Score." The app, which was designed to promote "Amp" energy-drink, helps men (I assume) pick up 24 different types of women, including "Rebound Girl", "Sorority Girl", and "Cougar."

Of course, Pepsi has already issued an apology for creating the app, though as of yet have not taken it down from the App Store. Over-caffeinated, tech-dorks rejoice!

And I thought the iFart app was the most useless app in existence...

Go Ahead, Knock Yourself Out (Literally)

The bloody footballer pictured above is Seattle Seahawk fullback, Owen Schmitt. While blood is no strange surprise in football, it should be noted that this picture it actually from before the game started, as he decided to smash himself in the head with his own helmet while running out to the field.

I mean, sure, I punch myself in the balls before I go perform stand-up, but that's just to stay humble.

Speaking of pain, I'm getting a lot of conflicting information as to whether you want to take Alleve or Advil for my leg situation. Thoughts, comments, prescriptions?

Irony

So, this charley-horse has had me basically stuck in bed all day, alternating between an ice-pack and a Ben Gay Patch.

Ironic, spending almost a full-day with a Ben Gay in my bed when I spend most of my other time with a Gay Ben in a studio...

Better Than Comic Book Guy

For the first time in its illustrious history, Playboy magazine is putting a cartoon character on its cover. No, that that's not Wilma Flintstone pictured above, it is the sublime Ms. Marge Simpson.

Interestingly, Playgirl Magazine will also be doing a cartoon character cover, and my sources say it is down to two finalists, Fat Albert and Skeletor. Will keep you posted.

Unrelated to cartoon nudity, I got by far the worst charley-horse in my leg ever yesterday while playing basketball. First I tried heat, then cold, and now I'm back to heat. I'll gladly take advice from you guys for any other remedy as I'm still in pretty bad pain and for some bizarre reason I trust you guys more than WebMD...

SiriusXM Today

In an effort to make up for the lack of posting all week around here, Ben and I are guest hosting "The Frank DeCaro Show" today for the full three hours staring at 11 am eastern. Listen in on Sirius channel 109, XM channel 98.

Back to terrestrial stuff next week...

2016

Just saw a headline on CNN.com that says, "Ticker: 2016 race 'close as hell,' sources say."

After freaking out that CNN was dumbing us all down by polling us about a presidential race seven years away, I was relieved to find out after clicking that it actually about the host city for the 2016 Olympics.

Why that's better, I'm not sure, but it just is.

According to the article, it's down to Chicago v. Rio. One city is noted for gang murders and an intense drug trade, and the other one is in South America, so we'll have to just have to wait and see what happens.

*Oh, and the picture above is of a stripper pole, since everyone likes those kind more than a boring CNN-style poll...

Only in NYC

My morning started in a bizarre fashion, with a trip down to Wall Street. Generally comedians aren't allowed on Wall Street, especially early weekday mornings, but I was able to navigate through the suited bankers quite well. Why was I going to Wall street, you ask? Well, I don't want to get too deep into the specifics, but let's just say I don't think that people in suits are the only one's who deserve a bailout.

Anyway, I was on my way back uptown and I snapped this image while on the subway. In case you can't tell, it is of two banker-types standing behind a Mexican guy singing and playing the guitar. I gave the Mexican guy 50 cents and the bankers a nickel each.

Ben and I are interviewing Jenni from Bravo's Flipping-Out in a few minutes and then I'll be back with more later. Don't worry, I know I owe ya one for yesterday...

The Scope of Imagination

I've gotten a couple e-mails asking where I've been lately I can only respond by saying I saw this commercial and it left me too confused to post anything for a few days...

Nothing like creating an image, right?

I'll be posting everyday with this week, so don't cancel your internet service just yet...

Less is Moammar

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi went on a rambling, incoherent tirade at the United Nations today. When he finished his speech he shook his own hand (pictured above) and announced that he would be playing an alcoholic alien in the new Star Wars TV series.

Now excuse me, I'm craving some pre-dinner Frosted Flakes...

They're SUG-G-GARY!

So, for the past week or so I have been having eating Frosted Flakes for breakfast. (Yea, I'm such a showoff.) I got to the bottom of the box this morning, and ended up with a bowl that was roughly 50% flake and 50% sugar. I feel like a kid on crack right now and consequently have to take a bike ride now before I jump out the window.

More later, after I pick up a fresh box of the good stuff...

Jimmy and Stewie

You've probably read or heard about irrelevant ex-president Jimmy Carter claiming many white people are uncomfortable with a black president. I don't feel like interjecting myself in the debate at this moment as I am trying to enjoy a glass of wine, but allow me to offer-up this little gem.

The way Jimmy Carter pronounces the word "white" puts too much emphasis on the letter "h", much like how Stewie's pronunciation of the word "whip" does the same in this fantastic Family Guy clip...

If you need to hear how Jimmy pronounces the word "white" for yourself, just click here.

(Oh, and please let me know when the late-night shows make note of this comparison.)

Betty (in) White (and Blue)

My good buddy Andrew Tavani, who just won a Daytime Emmy award for his work on Cash Cab, snapped this picture of Betty White while at the Emmy's last week. As you can see, Betty is looking as spry as ever and according to IMBD.com she has a couple projects in the works. (Thankfully there is no mention of a sequel to The Proposal.)

Yea, there are some perks to knowing award winners in this business. And you thought it was just about fruit baskets, didn't ya?

So congrats to Andrew and another pal, Jon Groce, who also won for Cash Cab. (Though Jon only sent me a picture of Rue McClanahan from an old press junket for Mama's Family.)

Alright, I have to run out and get some toilet paper. I have my reasons...

Kanye West: Douchebag or Tool?

I'm not gonna give Kanye West the satisfaction to write about what he did to Taylor Swift since every other website on the planet is doing so, instead I will pose a profoundly impactful question...

Do you think it's at all possible that Kanye and/or MTV/NBC execs planned his outburst knowing that he was a guest on The Jay Leno Show debut the very next night and that it would generate all the publicity that it has?

Just a crazy thought.

I know, I know, network execs could never do something so dubious to a nice, sweet country girl like Taylor Swift, but I just throw these things out there.

Oh, and I did watch few minutes of the Leno Debacle (that's what I will refer to it as for now on), and it was quite awful. Though on a positive note, to paraphrase Joan Rivers, it's an excellent sleep-aid.

On that note, go download episode 15 of the Six Pack, all ya gotta do is click here...

Well, That Explains It

Check out this mind-blowing commercial for a new Juicy Juice drink, designed especially for children...

This pretty much explains everything in my life, as I grew up drinking regular Juicy Juice, which obviously lacked the brain development nutrients I needed. Of course back then we also thought you could get all your daily vitamins from Fun Dip, but I guess you live and learn.

Tomorrow I'll post about the new Skippy Peanut Butter that helps maintain an erection...

The Road More Travelled

I'm writing this while on an Amtrak train from back from Delaware to NYC. Shawn Hollenbach, Claudia Cogan, Jackie Monohan and I just finished up a couple days of road work which consisted of some rockin' shows, a lot of driving and a ton of food. All in all it was an excellent trip even though we didn't find a Cracker Barrel, which was my main reason for going. Despite that dissapointment, I'd do it all again.

Right now I have my phone plugged into the outlet next to my seat even though I havefull battery. For some reason I like usurping the trains power. Take that, state-funded, interstate train company!

Back to usual posts this week. Perhaps while usurping power from my local post-office or fire department...

Comedy: On TV and the Road

I just came across this promo for The Joy Behar Show, which debuts on HLN (otherwise known as Headline News) on September 28th. Comedy at 9 pm. What will Jay Leno think of this?

I'm heading to Delaware and Virginia starting tomorrow for some road gigs. It's been awhile since I've hit the road so I'm actually looking forward to it. If you're a local and want the insider info let me know...

Ben and Jerry Sitting in a Tree

In recognition of same-sex marriage being legalized in Vermont, Ben & Jerry have issued a new flavor of ice cream, Hubby Hubby.

I look forward to finding out what they come up with when marijuana gets legalized.

(Yes, I could've gone 100 different ways there, but I went with a weed joke. Perhaps it was somewhat subliminal because of the pint of Ben and Jerry's I'd scarf down every night in college after smoking dope. Or perhaps it was Ben and Jerry seem like stoners. Or perhaps I just didn't want to make a gratuitous sex joke about ice-cream. All interesting things to ponder, indeed.)

"Comedy" At 10

I saw this ad on a phone booth in Chelsea yesterday for the new Jay Leno Show. As you can see, the tag-line is "Comedy At 10. It's About Time." While I do agree with the hypothesis that something can be funny at 10 pm, clearly they aren't talking about this show. I can only assume that they mean for us to tune in to repeats of Futurama on Comedy Central at 10, and they just put Leno's head there cuz it looks like it's from the outer-space.

Two Leno attacks in a span of 10 posts. See if any other comic in America has the balls for that. I think not!

That's also precisely why when NBC picks up The Dave Rubin Show to replace this 10 pm disaster, the tag-line will be "Dave Rubin: His Balls Are As Big As His Comedy."

A Link To THE Link

We posted episode 14 of The Six Pack this morning. I'm sure many of you have heard it already, but if not, here's a clip in memory of my friend, Josh Link....

If you enjoyed the that, it's actually is a full 38 minute track which you can find at NickyDigital.com by clicking here.

More tomorrow, including info on the Royal Caribbean cruise that Ben and I will be taping the show live aboard in November...

DJ, Comic and Palin

First off, thanks for those who commented and e-mailed their condolences about Josh. His funeral is today, though I'm sure he would rather have you know that there are several parties being thrown in his memory out in Long Island and in NYC over the next couple days. E-mail me for more info if you are interested.

Since I also know that Josh wouldn't want me to leave that post as the first one for too long, here is an unaltered photo of the Palin family. The press didn't want you to know that Ben and I were distant cousins of theirs (for obvious reasons), but now that she isn't even governor anymore, we can finally share the truth.

You'll note that the picture is actually a screen capture from an iPhone. We are fiddling around with adding chapters to The Six Pack so that you'll be able to get right to your favorite segment more easily. This once again proves our slogan, "Ben and Dave: Working Hard For You."

Friend And DJ

I lost a long-time and really good friend last night, Josh Link. He was better known in this town as DJ Josh Link, though I will always remember him as perhaps the only person who loved playing with Transformers more than me. Josh had an incredible spirit and love of life, and I literally can only picture him smiling. He was one of those people who lived how he wanted to live, followed his dreams everyday and made everyone's life better for having known him. Sometimes those things can sound cliche, but I assure you not so with Josh.

When Josh and I would talk on AIM, our conversations always began with one of two phrases, either "Hey DJ" or "Hey Comic." Then our philosophic debates, which one way or another got back to Megatron's relationship with Starscream, would begin. Nothing would ever be resolved, and we'd do it again a week or two later.

Our families have been like real family for over 20 years and Josh will be missed in a way I can't describe. The reminiscing about the vacations to Sanibel and Disney Land has already begun.

We played a mash-up of Josh's on episode 5 of The Six Pack. You can check it out here.

Josh, I will continue to follow the dream that we always talked about it, but now I'll do it for both of us. And yes, I do expect you to pull some strings when you are taking a break from spinning the beats for all the cool people up there.

Goodbye, friend...

A Triple Play Down Memory Lane

The Phillies turned an unassisted triple-play to end yesterday's game against the Mets, only the second time in baseball history that's happened, and the first since 1927 . You'd think Major League Baseball would want people to see that, but they have been deleting all the clips of it on YouTube. I finally found this clip of the play on Yahoo! Sports, which is "powered by" Dunkin' Donuts. You all know that I find their coffee overrated, so we'll just pretend this clip is sponsored by the place I get my iced-hazelnut on 86th and Broadway.

For those of you who don't care about baseball, or sports for that matter, let me set this clip up a little differently for you. Pretend it's Liza Minelli pitching, Judy Garland hitting, Madonna catching and Cher being tagged out at second.

Now that I have all bases covered (pun intended), here's the clip...

3D Now In 2D!

Below is the trailer for James Cameron's "Avatar", which supposedly is going to revolutionize the way we watch movies. (Though not the way we eat popcorn, which will remain drenched in butter and from a giant bucket.) You kinda lose something while watching revolutionary 3D in our stale, boring 2D, but I just can't afford to turn this site into 3D yet. With that in mind, enjoy the James Cameron's future, sans Leonardo DiCaprio on a sinking boat...

Irony

The picture above is of Abdelbeset Ali Mohmed, the man responsible for the bombing of Pan-Am flight 103, in December of 1988. Despite being sentenced to life in prison, the Scottish government has decided to free him because he has only a few months to live after being diagnosed with prostate cancer.

I obviously don't have to explain the ridiculousness of a man who killed 270 innocent people by blowing up a plane walking up the stairs to board a plane with that slogan on it.

The very definition of irony. You just can't make this stuff up.

Gender Confusion

This woman, or man, or perhaps little of both, South African track star Caster Semenya, is being investigated for being a man pretending to be a woman. Seems to me you would try a little harder than this picture indicates if you were really trying.

Right, right? Am I right, people? Is this thing on?

The best quote about this story from the piece I just read comes from South African team manager, Phiwe Mlangeni-Tsholetsane (pronounced just as it's spelled), who said, "We entered Caster as a woman and we want to keep it that way."

Well, that sounds convincing, doesn't it?

More in one minute (literally), as I just saw the most ironic picture ever but can't figure out how to put two pictures in one post. Hey, I'm a comedian not a computer programmer...

NBC = No Bold Comedy

We saw District 9 over the weekend which was absolutely freakin' awesome. Whether you like sci-fi or not you will appreciate this movie for it's innovative film-making, great story and deeply philosophical plot. It made me wanna be a better alien. I mean comedian. Uhh, right, right, comedian.

Before the movie, as has become custom these days, they show you commercials, mini-TV episodes, tell you to that you should pee, that you shoudn't talk, that you should eat popcorn, and should shut off your cell phone/silence your baby. Then, just as you are comfortably numb, you get the eighteen previews. Amongst all that was this horrific, partly disturbing commercial for Jay Leno's new show on NBC. The only thing funny about it was the silence that it caused while people were watching and then the man behind me muttering "What the fuck?", at the end of it.*

Now enjoy this over-produced, group-think, hackneyed comedic short that I'm sure cost more money than I've made in 11 years of the biz...

Steve Allen, Jack Parr, Johnny Carson must be rolling in their graves right now. And not the rolling with laughter kinda rolling.

*There might have been one sorta funny line in there but I can't remember it and really couldn't force myself to watch it again...

Craigslist Isn't Just For Murderers

We've gotten a huge response to our new segment, "Missed Connections Set to Love Songs", on this week's Six Pack. Just in case you haven't heard it (I don't wanna hear your excuses), click play below it'll take you right to the segment...

Oh, and yea, I figured out how to center the audio player. Miracles can happen...

Click 'N Play

The innovations and high-end technology never end here in Rubinville. (Even thought I can't figure out how to center said innovations and high-end technology.)

Just click the play button on the little gizmo above and you can listen to the new episode of the Six Pack right here. Lotsa good stuff in there, but I think you all will particularly enjoy our new segment, "Missed Connections Set to Love Songs."

Now click 'n play and I'll return later...

Dumbo Ain't Just A Flying Elephant

I don't often announce where I will be here on Rubinville, since as we all know the internet is filled with stalkers, murderers, abortionists and politicians. However, today is a special day as Ben is co-presenting a new party in Dumbo, Brooklyn. Sure, when we all think back to the movie Dumbo we generally think of the racist, singing crows, but that has nothing to do with this particular event. At least as far as I know. Drop the "D" and add a "G" for gay, and you've got some fantastic times, for sure.

So, if you live in the NYC-area, and you wanna see me live, in a v-neck t-shirt, get moving. 2-for-1 drinks 'til 9 pm...

Say What Now?

Hillary Clinton made some interesting remarks today while in Nigeria. Take a looksie...

Now, I can accept that Hillary believes that George W. Bush stole the election in 2000 and even that it had something to do with his brother Jeb, who was at the time the Governor of Florida. And, I can even accept her venting about while in a foreign nation. What I can't understand however, is why she was feeling herself up the whole time she was talking about it. Does it sexually turn her on to think that elections can be stolen? Did she secretly sleep with GWB to get back at Bill? Do her breasts get itchy when she is telling the truth?

I report, you decide...

That's What I Call Talent

I've had a busy couple days here, hence the disappearance from my own website. I'm sure you've all been kept amused by Six Pack #11, though. You have listened already, right, right?

I don't have much time today actually, but I wanted to at least give you something, so enjoy the picture of Emma licking her own nose. Believe it or not, I got that unblurry picture on the first try, which is actually mathematically impossible.

Now excuse me, I am off to do more mathematically impossible things, like find a salad in NYC for under 10 bucks...

...And Knowing Is Half The Battle

In the stunner of the summer, I saw the GI Joe movie today and have to say I loved it. It was action-packed, silly, fun and actually had a cool, cohesive plot. They set it up to be a real series of films and didn't dumb it down like the train-wreck that was Transformers 2. Either that, or I temporarily reverted to my 1986 self.

They did change the origin of Cobra Commander, which I was fine with cuz although I like this scene from the original GI Joe movie, many people thought it changed too much of the back-story. Here is a clip of that.

Oh, can you guess who the voice of the guy talking at the beginning of this clip is? No Googling, please...

A Real (Un)American Hero

The new GI Joe movie comes out today. You know, the non-cartoon one where GI Joe isn't even an American anymore but instead an "international" fighting force. Allow me to remind Hollywood of this sacred phrase...

"GI Joe is the codename for America's daring, highly-trained, special-mission force. It's purpose, to defend human freedom from Cobra, a ruthless, terrorist organization."

In case that isn't enough of an explanation of GI Joe's American origins, check out this clip from the beginning of the original GI Joe movie, where the Joe's stop Cobra from blowing up the Statue of Liberty and then Duke flies an American flag to the top of her crown.

Damn self-hating Hollywood Commies.

For those of you interested in some good, old-fashioned, all-American fun, the new Six Pack will be up later today...

Six Pack Press

The Six Pack got a nice mention in today's NY Post regarding our interview with Bethenny Frankel. Pick up a copy and flip to the TV section to check it out. Or, for those of you who don't want to get your hands dirty, just click here.

The Margarita Of The Future

The new Six Pack just went up and in it we interview NYC Housewife star, Bethenny Frankel. I won't give away anything here except to say that she has invented a new margarita that is less calories than a glass of wine. Clearly, the best idea ever.

Take a listen at the Six Pack site, or subscribe already by clicking here.

That is all...

Six Pack Site

As If you guys need another website to check out between Rubinville, all your porn, and Facebook, I've decided to give you one more. The official Six Pack site, BenDave.com is now up and running. Each week we'll post the current episode with some insider info and some links to the stuff we talk about. Bookmark it, Favorite it, or whatever it is you do to your important internet destinations.

Speaking of destinations, one I would really recommend for you New Yorkers is checking out the brand-new Highline, which is where Ben and I took the picture above. For those of you wondering what we were looking at in that particular shot, well, I have to leave some things to the imagination...

Mind The Gap

In another fantastic day we are having this summer, all hell broke loose for about 3 hours earlier this afternoon. I found myself with no umbrella-ella-ella (that still doesn't seem old to me), so I ran into The Gap.

I didn't buy anything, even despite their Red promotion. I guess I didn't feel inspi(red), thus none of the shirts were desi(red).

Gee, after such a humid day I'm awfully ti(red) and I think Emma just far(ted).

Damn, that last one didn't quite work. Close though...

Wait, What?

Just saw this sign at my local Duane Reade drugstore and I can't figure out if this is better for the prescription drug-addicts, or worse for the people who needs cabs.

Let the debate begin...

Hardball (And Fajitas) Without Chris Matthews

Yes, that is a waiter in the black t-shirt. And just beyond him is MSNBC's very own Chris Mathews. He was strolling down Columbus last night, apparently looking for a place to eat, but when my friend yelled, "Yo, Chris!" and waved to him, he turned around for some strange reason. He did give us a big smile though, so I'll put him on my list of pleasant celebrities. It's too bad he didn't join us though, cuz we had quite an Obama Health Care debate. We even did it with less yelling than on his show, though that wasn't too hard to do.

Lovely day outside today, which, if it's like every other day we've had this month, means that it will be hot for the next hour, then a lightening storm, then hot again, then a tsunami and then a mild evening. Bipolar weather is very in these days.

I'll try to check in between the lightening storm and the second heat wave...

Season Two And Episode Nine

The season two trailer of Clone Wars was just released. I can't imagine you didn't have a Google Alert waiting for this moment, but in case you missed it, here it is...

And, if that isn't enough of a treat, episode nine of Six Pack is up, too. I can't imagine you didn't have a Google Alert waiting for this moment, but in can you missed it, click here.

I really need to stop babying you guys...

The Perks of Stardom

Ya, it's a good life.

Those are the feet of yours truly, after my third-ever pedicure earlier today. My first one was about two years ago, which after the amount of basketball I play, was long overdue. I actually heard that the woman who did my feet that day actually committed suicide a few weeks later. That kept me from getting another until last summer, after buying new flip-flops. Then today, after waiting for over another year, it was a "Treat yourself, Dave, you're doing good stuff." And alas, I did.

19 bucks for a pedicure and a 10 minute massage. I think that's a pretty good deal, especially for NYC, right? And no, there was no happy ending. That would've been and extra 10 bucks, which frankly, I just wasn't ready to splurge for.

Now what do people with freshly-cleaned toes eat for dinner? Hmm...

Other People Are Funny, Too

Real Time with Bill Maher, which had been off for a few weeks and missed the whole Michael Jackson death, made up for it on this week's show. I'd say this few minutes is far better insight about Jackson than the 1,400 hours of programming that CNN has devoted to him. Oh, and of course, he managed to get some commentary about America in there, too...

My Incredible (Hulk) Story

This is an unaltered picture that I took earlier today from the corner of 79th and Columbus while walking Emma. While those of you not from NYC may simply assume that our streets are normally flowing with green ooze, I can assure you that is not the case. (At least not the Upper West Side, though lord only knows what's happening in the East Village.) After discussing the matter with several other onlookers and thinking about it on a near-by bench, I could only deduce that the The Incredible Hulk was shot and multiple times and taken to The Museum of Natural History for further examination.

I walked over to the museum to inquire further about my hypothesis but was turned away by the night guard, played by Ben Stiller.

But why was the night guard working during the day, you ask?

Precisely!

And wasn't he recently transferred to The Smithsonian or something?

Or was it MOMA? Or the Museum of the Moving Image? No, no, that wasn't it. Oh, it was the Baltimore Aquarium! No, hmm, oh, who knows? I didn't see that stupid movie either.

Needless to say, I did what anyone else would do and took a sample of the green blood with the bag that was supposed to be for the dog's poop.

I'm still waiting for the results of the DNA test I did on the blood using my homemade centrifuge. I mixed the extra with some strawberries and a little GNC protein powder for a delicious after-workout shake.

I will keep you posted about this as well as the status of the radioactive pigeon bite I got yesterday...