Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Out With The Old Year

Well, this is it, my last post of 2008, and the 999th in Rubinville history.  I'm heading out shortly, but just wanted to wish you all a happy new year and may you all get drunk and laid tonight.  

For those of you who don't drink or have sex may you enjoy whatever else you like to do.  But really, you should try those two...

2008 Reasons

In a mere 8 hour and 22 minutes this giant ball will drop in Times Square and we can all kiss 2008 goodbye.  It has been a great year for me all around, personally, professionally and a few other words that end in "ly."  That being said, I know 2009 is going to bring more of the same and I'm ready to rock it.

Oh, I just noticed that this is actually my 998th post, and not 999th, as expected.  I guess that means I have to end this and write another one shortly.

A bonus post coming.  The gifts just keep on coming around here...

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I'm Baaaaack

I have returned from my week in Dallas.  It was a great time being with Carlos' family and I ate Chick-fil-A three times.  Good stuff.

(Also, I was able to get out before the Cowboys lost, thus probably saving my life.)

Actually, I had never been to a Chick-fil-A before, but now I'm hearing a rumor that there is one somewhere near NYU downtown.  Sounds like an afternoon adventure for me.  Can anyone confirm this rumor? 

So, I go on vacation for a week and all hell breaks loose in the Middle East.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Barack is getting some heat for not speaking up more about what is going on over there but it seems to me that he is doing the right thing as we only have one president at a time.  Sure, it's hard to believe that president is still George, but according to my research, it is true.

Amazingly, the 998th post here on Rubinville.  I'm gonna post one more time before the new year, thus my post on January first will be the 1000th.  That has a nice ring to it, right?  Also, I have some new ideas and plans for the site, I'll tell ya more about them in the 1000th.

Alright, that's it for now, I know this wasn't a hilarious post, but just you wait til 999...

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Vodka And Red Bull Equals...

...Me on line at a club in Dallas waiting for more girls to arrive so we can get in.

Good lord...

Friday, December 26, 2008

Texas Xmas

I probably should've mentioned that I was going to Texas for Christmas week. Carlos is from Dallas, and that is where I am iPhone blogging from. I'll be back in a couple days but I will check in again if this iPhone application works.

Blogging on an iPhone in Texas. What a world...

Friday, December 19, 2008

Chicago (Not The Musical)

Embattled Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich said today that he is innocent and will not resign from office.  "I will fight, I will fight, I will fight until I take my last breath," he said at a news conference today.  Then, in a bizarre twist, he tried to take his last breath but his tongue got stuck between his lips.

It's been a snowy day here in NYC as well as much of the country according to the good people who monitor such events.  Believe it or not, when it snows I wear the same Timberland boots that I got all the way back in the 9th grade.  Actually, that reminds me I need to copy my homework from a nerd before 7th period math class.  

(That was not an anti-nerd statement.  I was once a nerd and know full-well that they are people, too.  And as such, often very useful to us now cool people.)

Alright, that's it for me.  I've got a little more Chrismukah shopping to do this weekend and find some time to make a couple people laugh.  If only I could combine those two into one spectacular event.  Hmm...

What's the deal with Circuit City, people?  Isn't that just the worst store ever?  Am I right?  Am I?  Is this thing on??

Have a good weekend, everyone...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Never Enough Of A Good Thing

I just got an e-mail from Jeff, a fan in Boston, reminding me that I never re-posted the 1986 NBC promo video that Eliot Glazer and I talked about during his interview on Hot Gay Comics. Here it is in all it's glory...

God, I wish I had a time machine...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

This Is CNN (With Old Graphics)

As some of you may have noticed, CNN changed their graphics earlier this week.  Unlike most graphics changes, be they television, video game or your dentists computer system, CNN decided to actually go backwards with their graphics.  They now look like something from the 1980's and even have a white "crawl" on the bottom.  Not only does the white look really bad, but it also is the worst color to constantly be on TV for those with plasma TV's.  

This all leads me to surmise one thing...

James Earl Jones is in cahoots with the LCD TV people and he wants the plasma people to all suffer from "screen-burn" so we will have to go out and get new TV's.

Damn you, James Early Jones!  I'm onto you!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Circuit City Sucks

Alright, we're back in business, people.  And speaking of business, today's post will be about a company that should be, and is, going out of business.

So, we were doing some holiday shopping yesterday and ended up at Circuit City.  That in and of itself was my first mistake.  I can't tell you the item I wanted to purchase (the receiver of the gift probably will read this), but it was something electronic, over a hundred bucks.  As I was about to pay for it the salesgirl tells me they have a special going and i can get a free gift with it.  I wasn't expecting a free gift, so it was just a bonus, but then she tells me they are all out of the free gift.  I asked her if I could just take something very similar to the free gift, an item that was actually cheaper than the free one, but she said no.  Sooooo, off to talk to the manager I went.

The manager was hiding in the Geek Squad area and refused to come around the desk to talk to me. He said he couldn't offer me anything else and I said that I would just go to the Circuit City ten blocks away but I'd rather just buy it here.  He clearly didn't want to make the sale, so I left.

I get to the other Circuit City and they tell me that they don't even have this free gift sale in their system.  The salesguy calls the original Circuit City and they claim they don't even know about the sale in the first place.   He then tells me there is nothing he can do and walks away.

Long story short, I purchased the item at Best Buy (actually for a few dollars more than the CC price) just out of spite.

Spite, what the holidays are all about.  Right?

(More later, I'm feeling it today...)

Friday, December 12, 2008

Where's the Inspiration?


As you've noticed, Rubinville has been lacking a certain something lately, namely posts. I've sat around a couple times trying to post as usual, but then nothing comes out. Or sometimes something comes out and I just delete it. Or sometimes I just write the whole thing in Mandarin, only to remember that most of you don't speak the language. Anyway, all this adds up to the lack of consistency that you've come accustomed to around here.

Blogging is a strange thing. Sometimes I need it just to get some creative juices out. Lately though, I've been in a really nice groove with stand-up and my podcasts, so blogging hasn't seem as necessary. That isn't it totally though, cuz there are plenty of times stand-up, podcasts and everything else is in the flow and I still am posting around here. So, I'm not exactly sure what it is.

It might have something to do with being only 10 posts away from 1000 and it has caused me to look back a little on how far we've come here and how much further there is to go. And when I say "we" I do mean you too, all the people who read my little musings and especially the ones who comment on them.

Soooo, I promise, promise, promise and super-promise, to get back to regalar, full-time funny postings starting this Monday, December 15th.

And if I don't, I recommend you call 1(800)LAWYER...

(But seriously, I will.)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Windy (And Corrupt) City

By now you've all obviously heard about the crazy going-ons in Chicago.  While most of the articles I am reading are about his sheer disregard for the law, I would rather focus on two other things, his name and his hair.

Tell me his name, Rod Blagojevich, doesn't sound like the leader of any rebel faction in a country that ends in "...stan."  

And his hair totally matches that look.  People are surprised that he did something un-American?  C'mon.  I think he was the bad guy in "Under Seige 2."

Alright people, my half-assed, random posting is over.  The full comeback is on starting tomorrow...

Monday, December 08, 2008

Another Series Down

If you haven't been watching already, it's probably a little late to tell you to catch the series finale of Boston Legal tonight.  I've only been watching it for the last three seasons (out of five), but I have to say it has been funny, irreverent and probably the most underrated show on TV.  The cast, with actors like William Shatner, James Spader and Candice Bergen were all perfect in their roles and they even made time for fit in guest starts Tom Selleck, Parker Posey, and most importantly Betty White.  

I will miss the offices of Crane, Pool and Schmidt, though I will keep them in mind if I am ever arrested after a bad comedy show in Boston.  

So, yes, I cannot deny that it has been slow around Rubinville lately.  Bailouts, terrorism and a recession clearly have led to a lock of posting.  I have been searching the city for some inspiration though, and I can sense it bubbling.

I must have some kind of lotion for that...

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Better Than Nothing

I've been a lil crazed this week. But check out this great video from Funny or Die. Great stuff. I promise I'll try to post later...

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

The City of Brotherly Love

There's a nice interview with me in the most recent "Philadelphia Gay News."  Just like the last article I posted here, if you click the picture above it will get bigger.  I don't know how that happens, but it is a nifty little trick of the internet.  Thank you once again, Al Gore.

More tomorrow.

I know, I know, this really isn't a post.  But I think a pleasant interview is just as good.  Don't you?

Monday, December 01, 2008

Gone Fishin'


Hi everyone.  Hope you all had a good holiday weekend.  I know I said I'd be back starting today but it has been quite a hectic day so I am gonna postpone my grand return until tomorrow.  

In the interest of full disclosure, I have not actually gone fishin', but I am considering having fish for dinner tonight...