Thursday, October 28, 2004

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Here's a link to a little Comedy Central promo I shot for my comic bud Jeff Glasse...

http://www.jeffglasse.com/cc_demo.mov

You need quicktime to view it. Quicktime, sounds like my sexual stamina.

Ka-Ching....


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

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Why is it that Shaquille O'neal gets start a new fitness regimine to get himself on shape and it gets him on the cover of every magazine in the country while I do the same thing and all it gets me is stares from some weird, old man on the elliptical machine?

Interesting weekend of shows. The highlight was that a group of college kids who were at the early show at the Comedy Company ended up going to the late show at Joe Franklin's. I just so happened to stop by JF's to do a spot and when I was on stage I realized it was them. Most comics probably wouldn't want people to see them do back-to-back spots because it's hard to be original and fresh with that quick of a turnaround, but I was able to weave that into some good comedy.

Well, it was either my comedic skills that made the second show funny or the fact that these guys live in a dorm called Morehead. Yea, that's right, Morehead. God, I wish I was back in college, I could go for Morehead.

Speaking of Morehead, I'm in a bit of a drought. Pray for me.

The college kids did inform me that 8-bit Nintendo is back. Thank god, I can't tell you how mangled my fingers are cuz of all the buttons on Playstation 2. Can anyone even tell me what the hell L1 is for?

Boston is now up 3-0 in the World Series. I guess the curse is coming to an end. Reminds me of the time that Dorothy's aunt put a curse on her and Sophia ended up having to kiss a fool to get the curse lifted. Originally she just wanted to kiss Rose, but Rose we find out that Rose doesn't qualify as a fool, she is a simpleton.

Yea, I watch Lifetime TV, you got a problem with that? Meridith Baxter Birney is a very pwerful actress.

Less that a week till the big election. I think if you are still on the fence at this point that it should be an electric fence, cuz you are an idiot and you deserve an electric shock up your asscrack.

Ashley Simpson lip-sync's on SNL and is now prooving that any publicity is good publicity. Ironic, considering I don't know anyone who has watched Saturday Night life in about 4 years.

Yasser Arafat's health is in critical condition. Best wishes to him for a long, painful death.


Friday, October 22, 2004

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For some reason my posting to the Daily Dave from yesterday got posted 3 times. I guess my writing is just that powerful. Read the first one and then ignore the two beneath it. Just a lil service announcement...


Thursday, October 21, 2004

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In a moment of complete weakness I saw a little of the new, brilliant reality show, "The Biggest Loser", where fat people have to lose weight to win. I'm not sure what they win, but I'm guessing its not a Ham of the Month club membership.

The show was funny in that I couldn't believe how pathetic these fat people are. Seeing some woman go crazy because she thinks her blood sugar level was quite hilarious, I must admit. The two major highlights though, were at the end when one fat girl got voted off, and to signify so, they shut off the light on her personal refridgerator. That's right, they shut the light on her personal refridgerator. The other highlight was seeing the host, the once successful Caroline Rhea, as she had to tell these fat people the rules and regulations of the show. She not only is fatter than several of the contestants, but the seeing the sadness in her face is just priceless. I say that cuz I'm pretty sure that hosting a show for fat people to loose weight brings selling-out to a whole new level.

I assume the follow up show will be where we see skinny people gaining weight. And yes, I'd like to host it.

All my fish that I got last month are still alive. And they say God doesn't do miracles anymore.

Al Gore is heading to Florida to campaign for John Kerry. Is there any way that could be considered a good thing unless you work for the Republican National Convention?

Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian. There, I said it. Let the firestorm begin.

The Late Late Show (the one nobody watches after Letterman), has been looking for a new host since Craig Kilborne left. I AM AVAILABLE YOU NETWORK MORONS! TRY COMING OUT
TO A LIVE COMEDY SHOW IN NYC AND DISCOVERING SOME NEW TALENT.

Sorry for yelling.

The Yanks blew a 3-0 lead to the Red Sox in what some people are calling the greatest upset in the history of sports. I'd like to remind those people of the time that Ari, his brother Jimmy and their friend (I forget his name), beat me, my brother and Jon in a game of stickball in the back of Willits Elementary School in the fall of 1989.

Regarding my last Daily Dave about Jon Stewart on Crossfire, I sent a strongly worded e-mail to those morons at CNN. That'll show those right-wing liberal bastards.

Isreal killed Hamas number 2 man, Adnan al-Ghoul earlier today. I'm pretty sure if your last name is al-Ghoul you are automatically gonna be a bad dude.



Tuesday, October 19, 2004

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Hopefully, many of you caught or have heard about Jon Stewart's appearance on CNN's Crossfire a few days ago. From beat one Jon relentlessly attacked the two host for their hack-quasi-debate format and how they are only hurting American politics not helping people make up their minds. Ticket Carlson, that small-minded twit who wears the bowtie, was particularly taken back by Jon's comments and the two of them went back and forth for the better part of 15 minutes.

I was an intern at the Daily Show during the winter of 1999 and got to talk to Jon a couple times. I also learned alot from him watching him do not only the show, but during warmup before the show. Once I asked him to give me some advice about doing stand up and he told me two words that I have used to fuel my fire ever since. I'm not gonna repeat them right now, cuz they are a little trick I use to inspire myself, but when I make it I'll pass em down to some young comic who asks. At one point Jon promised to watch a a tape of mine, but unfortunately my internship ended before we were able to sit down.

While I was a little bitter about not getting a job at the Daily Show after my internship, I left there with nothing but respect for Jon, and after watching him on Crossfire, my respect has doubled. He did something that so few comedians are willing to do ---- risk not being funny to actually try to say something. As I watched him slice into Carlson, I could see how difficult it was for Jon to be biting and on the attack, while at the same time not dumb down what he was saying just for the sake of the easy laugh. That point was highlighted when Carlson told John, "You're a comedian, be funny." And Jon said, "I'm not your monkey."

I'm gonna use this moment as something to fuel myself to say what I want to say more and not pull the punches just because the laugh is there. So thanks Jon, first for those two words of advice you gave me five years ago, and now for showing me you can have success and not compromise your beliefs at the same time.


0 comments
Hopefully, many of you caught or have heard about Jon Stewart's appearance on CNN's Crossfire a few days ago. From beat one Jon relentlessly attacked the two host for their hack-quasi-debate format and how they are only hurting American politics not helping people make up their minds. Ticket Carlson, that small-minded twit who wears the bowtie, was particularly taken back by Jon's comments and the two of them went back and forth for the better part of 15 minutes.

I was an intern at the Daily Show during the winter of 1999 and got to talk to Jon a couple times. I also learned alot from him watching him do not only the show, but during warmup before the show. Once I asked him to give me some advice about doing stand up and he told me two words that I have used to fuel my fire ever since. I'm not gonna repeat them right now, cuz they are a little trick I use to inspire myself, but when I make it I'll pass em down to some young comic who asks. At one point Jon promised to watch a a tape of mine, but unfortunately my internship ended before we were able to sit down.

While I was a little bitter about not getting a job at the Daily Show after my internship, I left there with nothing but respect for Jon, and after watching him on Crossfire, my respect has doubled. He did something that so few comedians are willing to do ---- risk not being funny to actually try to say something. As I watched him slice into Carlson, I could see how difficult it was for Jon to be biting and on the attack, while at the same time not dumb down what he was saying just for the sake of the easy laugh. That point was highlighted when Carlson told John, "You're a comedian, be funny." And Jon said, "I'm not your monkey."

I'm gonna use this moment as something to fuel myself to say what I want to say more and not pull the punches just because the laugh is there. So thanks Jon, first for those two words of advice you gave me five years ago, and now for showing me you can have success and not compromise your beliefs at the same time.


0 comments
Hopefully, man of you caught or have heard about Jon Stewart's appearance on CNN's Crossfire a few days ago. From beat one Jon relentlessly attacked the two host for their hack-quasi-debate format and how they are only hurting American politics not helping people make up their minds. Ticket Carlson, that small-minded twit who wears the bowtie, was particularly taken back by Jon's comments and the two of them went back and forth for the better part of 15 minutes.

I was an intern at the Daily Show during the winter of 1999 and got to talk to Jon a couple times. I also learned alot from him watching him do not only the show, but during warmup before the show. Once I asked him to give me some advice about doing stand up and he told me two words that I have used to fuel my fire ever since. I'm not gonna repeat them right now, cuz they are a little trick I use to inspire myself, but when I make it I'll pass em down to some young comic who asks. At one point Jon promised to watch a a tape of mine, but unfortunately my internship ended before we were able to sit down.

While I was a little bitter about not getting a job at the Daily Show after my internship, I left there with nothing but respect for Jon, and after watching him on Crossfire, my respect has doubled. He did something that so few comedians are willing to do ---- risk not being funny to actually try to say something. As I watched him slice into Carlson, I could see how difficult it was for Jon to be biting and on the attack, while at the same time not dumb down what he was saying just for the sake of the easy laugh. That point was highlighted when Carlson told John, "You're a comedian, be funny." And Jon said, "I'm not your monkey."

I'm gonna use this moment as something to fuel myself to say what I want to say more and not pull the punches just because the laugh is there. So thanks Jon, first for those two words of advice you gave me five years ago, and now for showing me you can have success and not compromise your beliefs at the same time.


Tuesday, October 12, 2004

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So about a month ago I wrote something in the Daily Dave about the differences between midget and dwarfs (I'm sure an umpa lumpa reference was in there for comedic purposes), and it turns out that someone searched "differences between midgets and dwarfs" and got linked to Rubinville. You gotta love internet search engines.

Yea, thats right people, I can check what you are searching for when you end up here on Rubinville. So watch out. I can see you right now. Stop doing that. I said stop.

Okay, moving along from the crypic internet stalker stuff, I'd like to dedicate this entry to Rodney Dangerfield who hopefully is getting some respect with the man upstairs. Rodney did more for stand up comics (Jim Carrey, Andrew Dice Clay, Sam Kinison, just to name a few), than pretty much anyone else. Him dancing on the golf course to "Anyway You Want It" by Journey in Caddyshack is one of my favorite all-time movie scenes.

John Edwards said yesterday that when John Kerry is president, "people like Christopher Reeves will be able to get up and walk".

Maybe someone should tell Edwards that Reeves died the other day.

One more exicting debate coming up. And by exciting I mean dull, boring, uninspiring and insulting.

First ever Afghanistan election was yesterday. I know the US backed Hamid Karzi, but I voted for Hamid bin Karzel. I felt like his domestic policies were more suited to my needs. Who'd you vote for?




0 comments
So about a month ago I wrote something in the Daily Dave about the differences between midget and dwarfs (I'm sure an umpa lumpa reference was in there for comedic purposes), and it turns out that someone searched "differences between midgets and dwarfs" and got linked to Rubinville. You gotta love internet search engines.

Yea, thats right people, I can check what you are searching for when you end up here on Rubinville. So watch out. I can see you right now. Stop doing that. I said stop.

Okay, moving along from the crypic internet stalker stuff, I'd like to dedicate this entry to Rodney Dangerfield who hopefully is getting some respect with the man upstairs. Rodney did more for stand up comics (Jim Carrey, Andrew Dice Clay, Sam Kinison, just to name a few), than pretty much anyone else. Him dancing on the golf course to "Anyway You Want It" by Journey in Caddyshack is one of my favorite all-time movie scenes.

John Edwards said yesterday that when John Kerry is president, "people like Christopher Reeves will be able to get up and walk".

Maybe someone should tell Edwards that Reeves died the other day.

One more exicting debate coming up. And by exciting I mean dull, boring, uninspiring and insulting.

First ever Afghanistan election was yesterday. I know the US backed Hamid Karzi, but I voted for Hamid bin Karzel. I felt like his domestic policies were more suited to my needs. Who'd you vote for?




Sunday, October 10, 2004

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Had one of our best weekends ever at the Comedy Company. Sometimes it's hard to step back and see what you are doing for what it really is, but I'm so convinced that myself and the comics that I work with are going to be the next big names in comedy, and we're pushing each other everynight to get there. Saturday in particular we all went up and just crushed one after another, nobody letting down the slack. That's what we all live for, to pick up the ball and run with it. The race is on, now we just need more people to know about the good work.

The highlight of the shows was when a girl came up to me after the early show and told me that she laughed so hard during my set that she actually peed in her pants. She had to wear her friends weater around her waist to not show the stain. Hopefully she'll wash it before returning it.

That's what comedy is all about, making people pee in their pants.

More debate action over the past week. Rumors are afloat that Bush is actually just recieting whatever someone is telling him via some sort of earpiece. Don't you think that the guy doing the recieting would be a little smarter if that was the case?

Yanks-Red Sox begins on Tuesday. I'm gonna go with the Yanks in 7 for 3 reasons:

1. Jeter will do something amazing.
2. Bernie will hit a big single late in a game
3. The Red Sox good luck midget really doesn't have any special powers.

Have you seen that midget that the Red Sox think is giving them good luck? Midgets don't give good luck guys. If they did I would be more successful. I keep a midget in a cage in the kitchen.

No dead fish since the new additions to the tank. I owe several people some money due to the bet I offered in my last blog.

Somehow we lost the remote control to the tv and I literally haven't changed the channel all day. Thank god it was on Fox with Sunday Football and not ESPN3 with Lesbian Badmiton.

Is that how you spell Badmiton?

There's something funny about Lesbian Badmiton, cuz isnt' the thing they hit called a shuttle cock? Get it? Lesbians? Shuttle cock? Does it get any better?


Monday, October 04, 2004

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John Kerry pretty easily got the W in the first debate against W. I'm almost considering supporting Kerry now. Of course, I'm sure he'll do something to screw that up any day now. He does have a nice fake tan though, doesn't he?

How many times did Bush tell us that Poland is in our coalition? Is that even a good thing?

Also, did you notice that Bush kept drinking out of his glass even when there was no water in it? Yup, this is a bright guy.

Basbell playoffs start tommorrow. I'll go with the Yanks over the Twins and Angels over the Red Sox. I can't rememeber who got in from the National League, but I hope they enjoy their pitchers batting, thats always very exciting.

We're hosting some events for the NYC Underground Comedy Festival over at the Comedy Company this week. Seeing as our club actually is underground I would expect big things from this.

Janet Leigh, who played the woman who got killed in the show in the movie Psycho, died over the weekend.

So lemme get this straight, she didn't get killed in the shower? This changes everything.

This just in...Shaq and Kobe still don't get along.

Some guy at the gym keeps asking if he can spot me. I couldn't keep refusing so finally I let him this afternoon. I just don't understand how holding my balls will help me lift weights.

Got a jacket at the Gap last week for 50 bucks and then I went there today and it is only 25. I was gonna cause a big to-do but then I realized that the manager of the Gap probably has enough problems.

Carl Cameron of FoxNews made up a story that included quotes by John Kerry claiming he does his nails and is a metrosexual. I guess this means that by Fair and Balanced, Fox actually means, Fake and Madeup.

Restocked the aquarium over the weekend. I'll be taking bets via e-mail on the over-under of how long till the first death.