Wednesday, September 26, 2007


The media is abuzz with some comments that Bill O'Rielly made about eating at at restaurant in Harlem. I won't recap the whole thing but I found one particular comment he made interesting. He said that there was not one person yelling, "M-Fer, I want more iced tea!" I find this a bit curious not only because it implies that black people speak vulgarly, but because it implies that black people love iced tea and demand it quickly. If that is so, it confirms what I've long thought...I am part-black. I've had my suspicions for a long time, but now, between my love of a refreshing glass of iced tea, my big penis and my excellent basketball skills, I can finally conclude that this is the case.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a walk up to Harlem to get a glass of cool iced tea, a box of extra-large condoms and some new basketball sneakers...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Pictured above is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, just minutes before his speech at Columbia University yesterday. He spouted his usual stuff about America, Israel and the West, though this time introduced a little known fact about Iran, that there are no homosexuals there. This drew laughter from the crowd and monkey-face himself seemed to smile at what he said, which for a moment had me thinking that he wants to start a career in stand-up comedy.

I wonder if he'll do the cattle-call for the next season of Last Comic Standing.

He'll be giving a speech at the United Nations today, which I'm sure will cast light on other interesting facts about Iran. My sources tell me that this will Include that Iran actually possesses fire-breathing dragons and whales that shoot lasers from their eyes.

Unrelated, I had a dream last night that I was in a high school classroom that was being taught by Hillary Clinton. I asked her a question that somehow implied that I didn't like her and she kept me after class where she told me that, "I'll get you." Then we both got naked and I did her on the desk.

I made up the last part, but I thought it made the dream more interesting.

More dream political and dream analysis tomorrow...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hillary Clinton called Dick Cheney, "Darth Vader" yesterday. While I can appreciate her sentiment, I don't think Dick can do this...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Kelsey Grammar, shown here as The Beast, from the third X-Men movie, debuts tonight as an anchorman with a big ego (brilliant, really), in the new Fox sitcom, "Back to You." For some reason I really can't wait until they cancel this thing.

Let the countdown begin...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

OJ Simpson got arrested today for some shit that went down in Vegas. In case you forgot, he should already be in jail for murdering two people. For those of you who didn't have a telelvision back in 1994, enjoy this comical car-chase...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I prefer to honor this day by remembering the Twin Towers like this.

Back to business tomorrow...

Monday, September 10, 2007


That's just a little clip of Ms. Spears rehearsing for last night's MTV's Video Music Awards. Though I didn't watch, I have read enough this morning to know that they were pretty horrible. Considering that MTV is basically 24 hours of reality show garbage, I'm not quite sure why people are surprised by this, but I guess we just want more out of our overpaid, under-talented pop-stars and their sidekicks.

I'll leave it at that before I start on our underpaid, over-talented comics without sidekicks...

Friday, September 07, 2007

Yea, two posts in one day. And this one has my Pissed, with a capital "P". Please watch the one minute clip below and listen to the words...

That's the beginning of the GI Joe cartoon from the mid-80's. Not only was GI Joe's tagline, "A Real American Hero", but the song is filled with lines about fighting for his country and defending American from Cobra, a ruthless, terrorist organization. That all just came to an end, as it has just been announced that in the 2009 movie, GI Joe will be a global task force, and not an American fighting force. There's about a hundred things that I want to say about this, but I'll just go with the top three...

First off, what is Hollywood's fascination with removing anything positive about America from all it's movies? For those of you who remember that horrendous Superman movie of last year, they took out the part about "the American way" from the classic line of Superman standing for "truth, justice and the American way." The only thing I can think of is that this panders to international markets which wants to see America somehow as evil, and it'll sell more tickets to make Superman, and GI Joe less American.

Secondly, this once again takes something that was great at it's inception and changes it just for the masses. Without getting into the whole Tranformers thing again, Hollywood insists on pumping out over-produced, heartless drivel, instead of anything with real substance. Hmm, maybe a movie about a good American fighting force battling against terrorists would be good for the country, and maybe even the world. Apparently not, at least if it comes from Hollywood.

Thirdly, these people who write and come up with these ideas really need to be banned from the business. After nine years of barely being in it, and still having some integrity, I think if you embedded in the business and have no integrity, you should have to sit through 24 hours of your own shitty movies until you rip your own eyes out.

I'm just thankful that the Thundercats are from another planet altogether or I'm sure they'd somehow turn that movie into anti-American crapola as well. Actually, I'll reserve judgment on that one, these guys can screw up anything...

I saw Larry David last night over at the 92nd Street Y alongside Susie Essman discussing the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. They actually showed us the upcoming season premier which hasn't aired yet and it was really hilarious. It was nice to sit in a crowd and be one of the laughing people instead of the one making people laugh for a change. The night was a great time and it was inspirational to listen to someone on the top of their game talk about what they do, even though in Larry's case, he clearly couldn't care less whether he was there or not. I think somehow therein lies the brilliance.

Speaking of brilliance, I have to pee...

Thursday, September 06, 2007

If this means that Jay Leno will be running as Fred Thompson's VP, I'm leaving the country...

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Check out this clip of Senator Larry Craig talking about Bill Clinton...

If there is something beyond irony, I think you just saw it...