Thursday, June 30, 2005


I caught War of the Worlds late last night, which marks the first time in my life I've caught back-to-back movies on opening day. (Star Wars, being the other, in case you've missed my 800 Star Wars related postings.)

I'm not gonna write a spoiler here but I am gonna talk about general themes, so consider yourself warned...


That was a final warning. I don't want to get sued. I'm already involved in a lawsuit after telling someone the ending to The 10 Commandments. Okay, here we go...

Speilberg really has the ability to push movie-making like nobody else. Just when you think you've seen it all in term of suspense, or special effects or plotline, he somehow pulls out all kinds of surprises that keep you on the edge of your seat. Even if you are a judgemental comedian.

Tom Cruise might just be at that breaking point in his career where you can no longer view him as anyone else other than Tom Cruise. The whole movie I kept thinking, "Why doesn't Tom takes the kids and hide in the local affiliate of the Church of Scientology ?"

The only thing I didn't like about the movie was the last 10 minutes, which I cannot begin to explain to you. I really don't know what happened, other than that Tom get sucked into some sort of giant alien anus and was able to climb out after leaving a grenade up there. This somehow starts a chain reaction that leads to the destruction of aliens. It has since been explained to me that the aliens got sick after being contaminated by our human genes. I guess that makes sense, I mean who wouldn't be sick after eating 10,000 humans? That's a lot of extra carbs.

Is Morgan Freeman the only person in Hollywood capable of doing a movie voice-over? He picks up right where he left off in Shawshank Redemeption and Million Dollar Baby and tells us the story of how the aliens got here. What is it exactly about an old black man telling us a story that makes it more believable?

I'm not sure what the answer is to that question, but I have to get going because Sidney Pottier is coming over in 20 minutes and I need to clean up before he gets here. He reads me the newspaper every Thursday afternoon.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005


I just figured out how to add pictures to the Daily Dave. Let the craziness begin...

The pic above is the cover to the DVD of "Truly Great People", which is the most recent show I did with Andrew Tavani. The show is a loosely scripted half-hour sitcom about two guys in NYC trying to figure out what kind of TV show they want to create, while at the same time trying to figure out the meaning of life.

The show, while lacking in some production values because of our 50 dollar budget, was pretty funny and dare I say even edgy. I get even get shirtless at one point. We ultimately pitched the show to HBO, but, seeing as we're not celebrities, they chose not to pick it up. They did, however, try to send the DVD back to me, but I just kept refusing the package everytime FedEx showed up at my door. I've already got enough clutter in my room.

As I write this, Andrew and I are working on a new concept, though I have to admit that after creating and pitching two shows that haven't gotten picked up, it makes it harder and harder to create new ones. But, I suppose therein lies the challenge, so we'll just keep on creating.

We're considering selling a DVD with an episode of the Anti Show (the first show we did), along with the pilot of Truly Great People. I just fear that people will order it and then keep refusing the package. I don't know if could deal with that kind of rejection.

And now one quick newsworthy joke...

Tom Cruise told a German newspaper that "we're not alone", in an apparent reference to aliens being here on Earth. Later he clarified the statement by saying by "we're" he meant "I", by "not" he meant "am", and by "alone" he meant "crazy".

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

President Bush is giving a big speech tonight to discuss the future of Iraq. According to my sources, he will claim that the future of Iraq is going include all the things that happen from here on out.

The NBA Draft is tonight. I'm expecting to go in the mid-to-late first round. It would be nice to move up and get selected by the Trailblazers so that I'll have some people to smoke pot and abuse my wife with, but we'll see what happens.

Oh wait, I don't have a wife, or any pot. I guess it doesn't matter who selects me then.

New stand-up video and/or audio should be up within a week, I'm in the midst of editing some stuff, and seeing as I don't really know what I'm doing, it's taking some time. I wish I was a comedian in the 80's, you didn't need any other skills besides being funny back then. Pauley Shore never edited. And come to think of it he was never funny. Man, those were the days.

One of my fish is starting to swim vertically, this can't be good.

Still playing Revenge of the Sith on PS2. Right now I'm Anakin at the Jedi Temple slaughtering all the Jedi. Strangely, it isn't as hard as I would've thought to fight for the Dark Side.

Okay, that's it for now. You've been great.

Monday, June 27, 2005

I turned the big 29 this weekend, which was fine until several people told me that technically I'm now in my 30th year. That means that in 30 years on this planet all I have to show for my life is a couple t-shirts, Playstation 2 and a laptop. I'd be okay with that if this was my 29th year but as my 30th year I feel like I should own more stuff. I gotta get on that.

I've just been contacted by ABC to see if I want to be in "Dancing with the Non-Stars". I'll let you know how the negotiations go.

I caught two episodes of The Simpsons last night which amazingly were the first two that I've seen from this past season. Both had some really funny moments and felt like a bit of a throwback to the prime years. Beyond that though, it's just amazing how well everyone in Springfield is aging.

Little Know Fact: In the first seasons of The Simpsons, Wayland Smithers was actually black. I wonder if that's where Michael Jackson got the idea.

The Yankees won yesterday. Who says miracles don't happen?

As long as I'm asking questions, is it possible if you get drunk on a Saturday to not be hungover on Sunday but then suddenly hungover on Monday? Hmm, maybe that's something that kicks in when you hit your 30th year.

Alright, that's it for now but I'll be posting everyday this week.

Yes, that's a threat.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Along with our new format here at the Daily Dave, we have now introduced a "Comments" section. This is where you, the people, can voice your thoughts on things I've written, things I should've written, things I'm afraid to write, and everything in between. In the 2-plus years I've been doing this only my voice has been heard, and while philosophically I am a big fan of dictatorships, I know that Bush will invade Rubinville if I don't democratize this place as soon as possible. That being said, let the comments begin...

I'm heading to the Yanks-Devil Rays game in about an hour. The Yanks don't do many mid-day games during the week so it should be fun, especially since Lou Pinella is on the verge of a mental breakdown. There's nothing better than seeing a grown man in a uniform throwing bases and kicking dirt and knocking over Gatorade bottles.

Actually, seeing a man in a suit do those things would be better, but that's it.

The American Film Institute has listed it's top 100 film quotes of all-time. Topping the list, to no surprise is, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn", from Gone with the Wind in 1939. While I do think that is a nice selection, I personally would've gone with, "Nice beaver!", from Naked Gun circa 1989.

Spent the day in Jersey yesterday with an old friend of mine who goes way back to kindergarten. He has a son now who is 4, which is the same age that we met at. It really was a nice feeling sitting there with my friend and his son until his son beat us both in NBA Live on PS2. Damn spoiled kid with his video games.

The Royal Monarch costs each British tax payer about a dollar every year to maintain their lavish lifestyle. It would've been closer to 2 dollars but it turns out Prince Harry pays for his Nazi costumes out of his own pocket.

Anyone else a little conflicted about going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? The commercials are making it look like a straight-up remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which I think still stands the test of time. Johnny Depp is a great actor but could be possibly be more wacked-out and deranged than Gene Wilder? And I'm not talking about Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka, I'm talking about the man Gene Wilder, he is a nut.

A chocolate covered, sugar powdered, deliciously-tantalizing nut.

NBA Finals is going 7 games after the Pistons pulled it out in San Antonio last night. I predicted the most boring finals ever, but the last 2 games have been pretty good. I'll now change my prediction to the Pistons winning in overtime of game 7, in a mildly amusing game.

About to go drop off my laundry. It's gotten so bad at this point, that I actually say goodbye to 3 socks and one white t-shirt before make the drop off. I know they aren't coming back, and it's important to say goodbyes.

On that note, later peeps.

Friday, June 17, 2005

So how do ya like the newly re-designed Daily Dave? It's still a work in progress, but we wanted to give you the changes as they come along. That's one of the reasons people come to Rubinville, it's always giving something back.

The links part to the right should be up shortly and there will be some other color changes as well. If you've got any other bright ideas drop me an e-mail and we'll see what we can do.

Thanks once again to Steve who designed Rubinville as well as and

If you're in NYC today pick up a copy of today's Metro newspaper. Andrew Tavani wrote the op-ed piece on page 11.

Now back to the funny...

A new poll shows that only 35 percent of Americans like the French. A similar poll in France shows that only 15 percent of the French actually do anything, ever.

Crude oil has risen to an almost absurd level of 58 bucks per barrel. Hmm, seems like we should attack someone post haste.

Oprah topped Forbes Magazines list of most influential celebrities. To honor the feat, Oprah is putting her picture on the cover of this months O Magazine.

(That is funny because she is on the cover every month. I normally don't explain my jokes but something inside me was saying this one needed an explanation. I suppose a joke that needs any explanation isn't a joke at all, but we'll leave that to the great greek philosophers to decide.)

My roomate got engaged a few weeks ago, and now is listed in my recently viewed links in Internet Explorer. I'm not sure if thats sadder for him or me.

Okay, fine, you're right, me.

Pac-Man turned 25 this week. To celebrate he got drunk on power-pellets and had a three-way with Blinky and Clyde.

I guess I should write something personal today too, hmm, hmm. Well, comedy continues to go well. I feel like moreso than ever I'm surrounded by the right people and that the stuff I'm doing is truer than it ever has been. Now if someone would only fix that damn rattling in the air conditioner so that I wouldn't feel like I'm doing comedy in the engine room of a Boeing 747, I think everything would be great.

Okay, that's it for today, got a bunch of shows this weekend, got an old high school friends wedding on Saturday and then Fathers Day with the family on Sunday. Whoa, I better start drinking now...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

We are the champions...we are the time for losing...cuz we are the champions...of the world...

Yes, that's right folks, my Urban Pro Basketball team won our division last night, which means that for the first time in my life I have won back-to-back championships after winning in the Chelsea Piers league last season.

Things seem to be coming together for old Davey, what could be next? Hmm, hmm.

In other news, Paris Hilton says she is retiring from being a party girl. Now she's just gonna do drugs and have sex with people in groups under 5 people, which techincally is a get-together, not a party.

Kirstie Alley claims to have lost 35 pounds on Jenny Craig according to the commercial I just saw. In my opinion she looks fatter than ever, which makes me think they fattened her up about 70 pounds, then had her drop 35 pounds.

Michael Jackson is not guilty on all charges. He celebrated the verdict by getting drunk at the Santa Monica pre-school.

That's really all I can offer up on MJ at the moment. It's sad that money buys justice in this country, but it is what it is. The pathetic part was listening to Tom Sneddon as he said still has faith in the jury system despite the decision. What's it called when you have faith in something that has completely failed you?

It's supposed to be cloudy and humid and in the mid 90's all week here in NYC. Basically the city is like a big steam room. Except homeless people are allowed in this one.

The big debate in Hollywood these days is whether Brad and Angelina or Tom and Katie is the hotter couple. I think it's Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

Speaking of Tom, people are wondering why Mr. Cruise has been on this crazy PR run. My insiders tell me it's because Spielberg blew all the commercial money for War of the Worlds on pre-production on Schindler's List 2.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Pistons-Spurs in the NBA Finals beginning on Monday. I'm not sure who is gonna win, but I am sure it will be the most boring NBA Finals ever.

President Bush announced 624 million dollars in aid to Africa earlier today. We sure are evil here in America.

The Latin version of the Simpsons is replacing their voices after a labor dispute could not be resolved. Unfortunately for people in Spanish-speaking countries, they were replaced by French-speaking actors.

It has been a really interesting week at the Comedy Company. We'v had a couple really great shows and a couple really bad ones, with very little in the middle. I guess in some ways it's better that way, because when you are stuck in the middle you're just a road hack, but the alternative highs and lows can be quite mentally draining. Peronsally though, I've been on a pretty nice run and feel like everything is heading in the right direction. I just don't have the slightest clue where that direction is.

The Supreme Court further outlawed medicinal marijuana these days. What is it people fear about marijuana? For some reason the more they make it illegal the more I wanna go buy brownie mix.

I'm temporarily suspending my letters to Ellen Degeneres because she has yet to respond and I think the Department of Annoying Letters is getting overflowed.

The women on The View are debating whether Michael Jackson is black or white. I'm pretty sure he's more grey actually.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Deap Throat has been uncovered. I want some deep throat. Or even half-deep. Or remotely shallow. Just throw me a bone, people.

The Michael Jackson trial is in it's final stages as I write this. Rumor has it that the court artist has had a mental breakdown after trying to draw a cartoon of Michael. He called it "Philosophically impossible".

This past weekend I did a massive cleanup of the apartment. It's amazing how much dirt can build up when you only clean once every three years.

Oprah has the highest rated show in sydication since 1992 after squeaking out a win over Wheel of Fortune this week. You gotta think that'll just push Pat Sajak a little closer to his impending suicide.

8th grader Anurag Kashyap won the Scripps Spelling Bee Championship today. Ironically, that is the correct spelling of his name.