Thursday, August 28, 2008

45 Years Later

45 years to the day after Martin Luther King Jr. gave his "I have a dream" speech, Barack Obama will give the biggest speech of his life tonight in Denver. 70,000 people will be at Mile High Stadium to hear the speech, though I have a stand-up show downtown tonight, so I won't be one of them. I called the Obama people to see if they would reschedule, but strangely nobody has gotten back to me. Weird.

Oh, by the way, I'm being vetted by the McCain people as a possible VP choice. Full disclosure tomorrow...



Full post later, for now just enjoy this picture...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Democrats and Decepticons

Day two of the DNC is underway. Blathering speeches and political mumbo-jumbo are upon us. The big spectacle, however, will be tonight when Hillary Clinton takes to the stage and tries to get her voters to move into the Obama category. It seems to me that there is no way that this will really work because we all know that Hillary really wants to be the leader of the Democrats.

This whole situation reminds me of the relationship that Starscream (Hillary) and Megatron (Barack) had during their battle for the leadership of the Decepticons.

Watch this clip and note how much more insightful it is than anything you will see on CNN tonight...

Monday, August 25, 2008



I'm pretty sure I just coined the phrase "Denvercrats" while watching night one of this partisan orgy. The word will only have use for the next three days or so, so use it wisely.

I'll report on the convention tomorrow, but for now enjoy the picture of this ass...

Democrats Do Denver

My source were right, and Joe Biden was chosen as Barack Obama's running-mate. I like Joe a lot, and think he'll make an excellent campaigner and potential VP. And somehow, I don't know how, but somehow, the hair plugs will work to his advantage.

The Democratic Convention is underway in Denver. I am flicking the channels between the three major cable news channels as there is a group of children singing the national anthem. Interestingly, CNN and Fox News are showing the kids singing while MSNBC has Chris Mathews talking over them.

Maybe MSNBC (third in the ratings) is going for a new slogan. MSNBC: Making Fox News Look Good.

Speaking of MSNBC, can someone wipe the spittle off of Chris Mathew's mouth? The guy loves politics so much he is literally salivating. I'd bet his wife probably has to talk about Obama to help him get a boner.

Yea, I just said boner. When's the last time you heard someone say it?

Oh, now Senator Barbara Boxer is speaking to Chris. Looks like she just got freshly Botoxed. I'm talking Nancy Pelosi-style Botoxed. Is there anything hotter than freshly Botoxed politician? I think not.

More powerful political insight tonight...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Ziro Controversy


There's nothing like a possibly gay Hutt to stir up some controversy.

The Hutt that I'm speaking of is not the infamous Jabba, but his uncle Ziro, who is the main bad guy in the new Clone Wars movie.

While Ziro does act and speak pretty "gay" (whatever that means), I find it hard to be offended by a fictional, computer generated alien. Call me old fashioned, but I'm more offended by closeted politicians who tirelessly work against gay rights or news anchors we all know are gay buy never speak about it.

If anything I was happy to see Ziro parading around in all his homo-glory. It shows that gays will not only still exist in the future, but will also be running giant crime syndicates, which is pretty awesome.*

*Yes, I know the story really took place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, but c'mon give me a break.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Olympic Fever


I have to admit that besides the five minutes of mens basketball that I've watched, I haven't caught any of this years Olympics. That was until last night, when I watched the girl above, Shawn Johnson, win gold on the balance beam. It was really quite impressive, and I think I'm gonna have to find a beam and start practicing for 2012.

Those of you who are Olympic aficionados will note that there is no longer a mens balance beam event in the Olympics. Starting today, however, I will make it my life's work to get it back into the games.

That replaces my life's work so far which has been finding new and innovative technologies to help make people laugh while being environmentally sound.

Gonna head out for a run and then have therapy this afternoon. Anyone got an issue for me to discuss?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Second Ain't So Bad

My sources are telling me that Obama will be announcing his choice for vice-president as early as tomorrow morning. I hope he chooses Joe Biden, the senator from Delaware, who, despite his awful hair plugs, often spices things up with zingers like this...

Check It, Yo!


Sorry for the few posts last week, sometimes being a minor comedic superhero can get a little overwhelming.

So in case you haven't been listening already, I wanna do a little self promotion here (hey, it is my website, after all), and tell you to check out my podcast Topical. Each week I discuss current events and other interesting tidbits with such luminaries as Mike Singer, Bob Juergens and Shawn Hollenbach. I think the show is starting to really get good, so check it out here...



Do it.

That's all I'm writing for now, anway.


Just do it.

You know you wanna.

Just type the link in your browser and see.

Trust me.

Ya, there you go...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Good Movie, It Was

You'll won't be surprised to know that I was literally the first person on line for the special premier of The Clone Wars. I don't want to give any spoilers about the movie but suffice to say it had a whole new look to the Star Wars universe, while maintaining the true Star Wars feeling. I'm still a little taken back by Jabba the Hutt's drag queen uncle, but somehow it worked.

Believe it or not, that wasn't a joke.

As for things in this universe, China has officially taken over the medal lead at the Olympics. Does it make me unpatriotic that I don't feel like rioting in the streets due to this information?

According to the census bureau, whites will not be the majority in the United States by the year 2042. Does it make me unpatriotic that I don't feel like rioting in the streets due to this information?

Will be back after breakfast and a riot...

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A Few Hours From Now, in a Galaxy Not So Far Away...


That's right, today is the big day, and I will be seeing The Clone Wars in just a couple hours. I just had my lightsaber refurbished so I'm fully ready for anything that might happen.

May the force be with us all...

Friday, August 08, 2008

Real Change

John Edwards has admitted to having an extra-marital affair with a woman.

That's right, a politician having a heterosexual affair!

Now there is change we can believe in!

Is Florida Next?

CNN is reporting that Russian warplanes have been bombing sites in Georgia. I can only imagine what President George's response to this will be, but if the Georgia bulldog gets loose just watch out.

(Yes, I know it's the other Georgia. C'mon, it's just a little morning geography fun. And by little, I mean very little.)

The Olympics are underway and the anti-smog and anti-human rights abuse people are all going nuts. Can't we just honor and appreciate the Chinese for their delicious and quickly delivered food?

According to a study done by Yahoo! (who even knew they were doing studies?), Ohio has four of the top-ten cities that are dying the fastest. Cleveland could've went into cardiac-arrest by the time I finish this sentence.

Interestingly, no city in Georgia was on the list. Take that, you commie bastards!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

3 Point President

If there was any doubt who I was voting for, I'm pretty sure this clip just clinched it...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Intergalactic Inflation


Got sent this great shot of the First Galactic Empire's currency. While I'm not sure it will get you tickets for the new Clone Wars movie here on Earth, it's still pretty cool. Speaking of Clone Wars, I just got two advance screening tickets for next Tuesday. I'm going to get my lightsaber refurbished once I finish writing this.

Arghm gotta run, Stormtroopers are banging on the door...

Tuesday, August 05, 2008



Can you imagine how upset all these thousands of people are when John McCain showed up to speak instead of Barack Obama?

If you wanna have some fun, try to spoke a black person in the crowd. Think of it as a racial version of Where's Waldo...

Gorilla Time

My Congo sources are reporting that 125,000 western lowland gorillas have been spotted in a swamp in the northern part of the country. How is this relevant to Rubinville? Not at all, but it's just a really, really, really slow news day.

And also, most people like gorillas and gorilla related stories.

This Brett Farve story continues to get weirder as he actually reported to Green Bay training camp yesterday. I'm not sure if the 20-million to stay retired offer is still on the table for Brett, but I am still taking offers for my retirement. C'mon people, a Nintendo Wii with a couple games might seal the deal.

Will be back this afternoon once there is more news out there. Unless a Wii magically shows up at my door, but I won't hold my joystick...

Monday, August 04, 2008

My Obstructed View


I just found out today that the ladies of The View will be off for the rest of August.

(Insert shock and panic sounds.)

As some of you may remember, I run at the gym basically everyday while watching the show. Though I often just watch Hot Topics since I don't wear womens bathing suits or need a vagina tightening, the show still makes my run manageable. Now, without it, I don't know what I'm going to run through. I could watch Sportscenter on ESPN, but without basketball my attention span isn't that great.

Recommendations will be gladly accepted, but please keep in mind I'd like to run from 10 am - 12 noon, eastern time. Thank you very much.

Oh, and if you yourself need a vagina tightening, try finding last Wednesday's episode on YouTube...

Friday, August 01, 2008

Retail Madness

There's an interesting cover article in today's AM New York about how national retail stores are taking over New York City. According to the piece, here the top five chains in NYC...

1. Dunkin Donuts 341 stores
2. Subway 335 stores
3. McDonald's 248 stores
4. Starbucks 235 stores
5. Duane Reade 216 stores

The next five rounding out the top ten are Baskin-Robins, Rite Aid, Radio Shack, GNC and Payless. The article goes on to say how many New Yorkers are being turned off be the impersonal nature of these big chain stores but that they keep springing up because of cheap prices.

Interestingly, read this article while waiting online to get my iced coffee from the guy in the little coffee stand on the corner. Not only is his coffee better than Starbucks, it is also about half the price and the guy is actually friendly. (Something that is lost at most chain places.) I assume that Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts will buy him in the next few weeks, so I'll just try to enjoy the iced coffee while I can.

Speaking of iced coffee, NASA has confirmed iced water in a soil sample from Mars. President George is expected to announce later today that we will invade Mars and destroy all the water immediately.

Gotta do a couple errands at such fine stores as Duane Reade, Rite Aid and Radio Shack. Will try to check in later...