Friday, December 28, 2007

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It's a bit of a long clip, but I think Ron Paul's reaction to the assassination of Benazir Bhutto is the most sane, pro-American insight that I've heard anyone say. Nothing particularly funny about the interview, except the fact that Paul really should be a front runner in the GOP race and instead is in single digits, mostly because of lack of media coverage.*

Oh wait, that's not funny, that's upsetting. Boy, taking a few days off really can play tricks on the mind.

*I do note that Paul was on CNN, but considering they make it breaking news everytime Hillary wipes her ass, it isn't quite the same thing.


Thursday, December 27, 2007

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Why is it news when a patron is killed by a tiger at a zoo? Shouldn't it only be news when a patron kills a tiger?

Yea, I'm back, and 10 percent more philosophical. More tomorrow...

Monday, December 17, 2007

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I'm in Florida, where the Sun isn't quite as hot as this picture would imply, but it certainly is a lot toastier than NYC. After this, I am heading to Dallas and then back to the East Coast. I'll try to check in before I return on the 26th.

Now don't go finding some new favorite comedian site, ya hear?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

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The George Mitchell steroids report is due out in a few hours. My well-placed sources are telling me that one of the big names on the list will be money-grubbing, fireball throwing pitcher, Roger Clemens. I'll wait to write more until i read the report, but in the meantime it's pretty funny to think that they are about to release a list of 80 professional athletes with small testicleeeeees...

Monday, December 10, 2007

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I think I'm gonna pick up one of these for when I do stand-up...



Note the way the guy pronounces "tesitcles" at the end. Testicleeeeese.

So the Oprah/Obama tour began this weekend at three major campaign events. Let me be the first (I think) to coin this the season of Oprama.

It kidna makes you think that all candidates should have a talk-show host to campaign with. Let me randomly pair a few...

John Edwards/Dr. Phil

Rudy Guiliani/Jerry Springer

Hillary Clinton/Arsenio Hall

Mitt Romney/Montel Williams

Stay tuned, tomorrow I'll link candidates with porn stars...

Friday, December 07, 2007

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Barbara Walters says she is tired of celebrity interviews. I guess that means she will be calling me any day now.

Hello Self-Depracating Friday!

(Maybe more later, crazy day today...)

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

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I'd like to the the THREE of you who responded to my question about Senator Larry Craig. Rubinville got 1,584 hits yesterday and three of you said that you didn't have sex with him, which leads me to believe that the other 1,581 of you did. I knew the guy was getting around, but I certainly didn't expect such high numbers. Crazy stuff, I know.

(Actually, I'd like to really thank the three of you who did respond. I suppose that the other people very busy, and my 780 something posts aren't quite enough free entertainment to warrant even a one word response just once. You guys are the best.)

In other shady politician news, Mitt Romney sent a letter to his landscapers telling them he won't use them anymore because they have illegal immigrants on (or off) their payroll. He also is giving a big speech this week about his Mormon faith. I wrote a rather hilarious joke about not being able to keep track of his illegal workers much less all his wives, but I don't know if all of you deserve it. Maybe I'll e-mail it directly to my three dedicated comment people.

Gotta go, Jennifer Love Hewitt is about to make a major announcement about the size of her ass...

Monday, December 03, 2007

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I wanna try a little test today. Although I haven't posted that frequently (or lengthly) over the past two weeks, Rubinville continues to get a healthy amount of hits, actually 3,012 yesterday. Unrelated to that, I read today that five new men have come out and said that they have had sex with Idaho Senator Larry Craig. That got me thinking that I should do a poll to ask you, the reader, to post a comment today if you HAVE NOT had sex with Larry Craig. I am posting this on Monday evening, and will let it sit for all of Tuesday. Then, on Wednesday I will subtract the number of comments from the overall number of hits. Thusly, we will see how many of Rubinville visitors are having sex with this guy.

If that isn't logic, I don't know what is...

Friday, November 30, 2007

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As I'm sure you've heard there is a hostage situation going on at Hillary's campaign headquarters in New Hampshire. I'm pretty sure this is the most high-level hostage situation since the Count Dooku helped kidnap Chancellor Palpatine. Of course, as we all know it didn't pan out too well for Dooku...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

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I didn't watch the CNN/YouTube debate last night, but I have been catching up with some of the clips. It's interesting that Ron Paul, who everyone makes seem like a nut, is probably the least nutty of all of them. I'm in for the revolution, now where do I get a horse? Seems like any good revolution involves a horse..

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

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If you haven't seen this new ad from Mike Huckabee, take a look...



Considering Arnold Schwarzeneeger is actually the governor of California, I suppose that the endorsement of another 80's action star is pretty good. More importantly, it's just nice to see a candidate with a sense of humor, even though I think we all agree that Dolph Lundgren would've been a better choice than Chuck.

In less humorous news, George is meeting today with Israeli and Palestinian leaders to discuss peace. I don't see any reason that this won't end well.

(Please not the double-negative in the sentence above.)

Ok, that's it for now. I'm not going to not go to the gym.

(Double negative duly noted.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

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I saw Beowulf in digital 3D on Saturday night. It confirmed what I've long said which is that 2D is for suckers.

That's all for now. The gloominess outside is clearly affecting my creativity levels...

Thursday, November 15, 2007

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Check out this old, crazy woman, calling Hillary "the bitch" while asking John McCain a question the other day. These few seconds really explain why you have to be completely insane to run for public office these days...



McCain's reaction is the best part, as he first looks like he is gonna explode, then rubs his face to compose himself, and then in complete seriousness says, "But that's an excellent question."

Only eleven and a half more months of this stuff to go...


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

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I don't even know what to say about this new ad from little-know Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo. Just get a bottle of gin and check it out for yourself...




Tuesday, November 13, 2007

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(Official Rubinville Memo: As of this post, all embedded videos will be centered just like all pictures are centered. The complaint department is tired of the constant barrage of e-mails.)

So Hillary's campaign has been caught planting questions to audience members at her town-hall meetings in Iowa. It seems to me that people should be more annoyed about this but I suppose it just is indicative of the current political/social/ethical climate in the country. I mean George is well known to pack crowds only with his supporters, and FEMA actually faked a news conference during the California fires. I guess what she did is no worse, but it'd be nice if we could expect a little more from our leaders. You know, like as maybe just as much as we expect from Pakistani leaders.

(Insert theme song to Fantasy Island.)

As long as I'm doing politics today, I also found it interesting how Republican candidate Ron Paul was able to raise over 4 million bucks in one day last week and it barely got noticed by the media. Instead they focused on how accomplished the feat on November 5th, which was the day that Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the British House of Parliament in 1605. By focusing on that event instead of what he accomplished in fund-raising, the media again once skirted the issue of a small time politician doing something incredible, and instead simply got more people to go out to rent V for Vendetta.

Most of you know that I do love that movie, however, and have often thought about blowing up the House of Parliament here in America. Unfortunately, we don't have one, so I'll just have to wait till they build one.

Actually come to think of it, instead of waiting that long, if they ever do decide to build one maybe I'll just get in good with one of the sub-contractors and have him do a shoddy job. Perhaps I'll have him install a leaky toilet or use sub-standard grouting for the tiles in the lobby.

(It should be noted that I'm writing at Starbucks today, which is clearly making me go a little bonkers, not only in the text of what I am writing but also the fact that I have used parenthesis on three separate occasions.)

Ok, that's all for now, I think the man sitting next to me is reading what I'm writing. Hey, you bastard, stop reading this! Stop, stop, I say!*

*I don't know why this whole thing is in a different font than usual, maybe I should ask this prick next to me...

Monday, November 12, 2007

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I keep seeing McDonald's commercials for Jerry Seinfeld's new Bee Movie. While movie cross-promotion is nothing new, I find this one particularly interesting. See, it turns out that while Jerry is lending his Bee's to sell french-fries, his wife Jessica is doing the talk-show circuit promoting her new book to get kids to eat healthy foods.

Oh, the iron-bee...I mean irony...
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Ben and I will be doing some shameless promotion on The Joey Reynolds Show tonight at midnight on WOR Radio. You can listen in at 710 on your AM dial in NY, or you can hear it online at WOR710.com.

Ill be expecting lots of listeners tonight, it's not like you got anything better to do at midnight on a Monday...

Thursday, November 08, 2007

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The online teaser for The Ben and Dave Show just went live, take a look...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

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I came across a posting on Craigslist for an anonymous TV show in NYC looking for a guy and a dog. (No, it wasn't in the personals section, thank you very much.) They wanted a picture of said guy and dog, so I snapped this one of Emma and I.

Now we just sit back and wait for fame...

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

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Dennis Kucinich, who admitted to seeing a UFO in the most recent Democratic debate, has offered a resolution to impeach Vice-President Cheney.

I guess it's not just lifeforms on this planet that don't like Cheney...

Monday, November 05, 2007

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Some shit is going down in Pakistan and once again the US is getting involved. I have three words of advice for George when dealing with any country in this part of the world..."cut and run."

Of course, George won't listen to my advice, cuz he thinks that we gotta spread democracy all over the place. Unfortunately, generally guys who take power in a military coup (like Pervez Musharaaf, pictured above), aren't huge fans of freedom and democracy and all that good stuff. That sure won't stop good, old crazy George from trying, though.

For those of you who have been over to the Drudge Report today, you might have noticed that the front headline says, "Rubin to the Rescue." Strangely, the article is about some guy named Robert E. Rubin, and not yours truly. I guess that girl that I gave the Heimlich maneuver to yesterday never called it in.

Hollywood writers are on strike as of this morning. And the world breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Actually, I think Rubinville's cache doubles each day that you can't watch such wonderful shows as "Gossip Girl" and "Mind of Mencia."

Seriously though, I know a zillion people who would love to write for a legit show, so I think that these people should just shut up and get back to work.

Now excuse me, I have to take my morning nap...

Thursday, November 01, 2007

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Imus is back and as ugly as ever. God help us all...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

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Something possessed me, once again, to watch the Democratic Presidential Debate last night on MSNBC. They all spouted their usual bullshit and didn't give any real answers, but a couple interesting things did materialize. Here we go, in no particular order...

1. Joe Biden, who knows he can't win, has decided to be the funny guy, and I gotta admit, he is pretty funny. (Not just cuz of the bad hair plugs.)

2. Chris Dodd pretty much tells the truth and has a solid record, but nobody is listening.

3. Dennis Kucinich has seen a UFO. Good for him, since nobody on this planet plans on voting for him.

4. John Edwards is trying to figure out a way to crack Hillary which makes him come off as a whiner.

5. Barack Obama keeps trying to take the high road, but he better get down and dirty if he wants to make this thing work.

6. Hillary is evil, I can't quite explain it, but I can just feel it.

The most interesting thing, however, was that Mike Gravel, who has been at all the other debates, was banned from this one my NBC. Interesting, isn't it, that the guy who attacks corporate America more than anyone, including GE - the parent company of NBC - would be banned from an NBC-sponsored debate?

And, of course, by interesting I mean profoundly disturbing...

Monday, October 29, 2007

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Yours truly doing a little of the funny last night. Pretty impressive, taking the microphone out of the stand, isn't it?

It's all about being a professional up there...

Thursday, October 25, 2007

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It's still hard to believe that this is the man in charge of California. While I was watching him speak about the wildfires yesterday I couldn't help but think that someone else is actually the governor but to make us feel better they send out Arnold. Alas, after doing some research, I have re-confirmed that he is, in fact, the governor.

Speaking of the fire, there have been several reports that Suzanne Somers was at risk of losing her home once again her house burned down in the fire of 2003. While the prospects of losing your home twice is pretty bad, I think we should all be more concerned about the whereabouts of Joyce DeWitt...

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

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This is absolutely in the top ten funniest things I've ever seen...

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Believe it or not, this picture was not made in Photoshop.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

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The California fires continue, as does the ridiculous coverage of which celebrities homes are in danger. MSNBC actually just put up a map of where several celebrities reside including Mel Gibson, Jane Seymore, Pamela Anderson, Olivia Newton John. Frankly, I think the only one happy about this whole thing is Olivia, who has had her named mentioned more today than anytime in the last 25 years.

I'll keep you abreast (you knew there was a Pam Anderson breast-joke coming) of the situation as it arises...

(By the way, note those two wierdos behind Pam in that picture.)

Monday, October 22, 2007

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These fires in California are horrific, but why does CNN keep reminding me that even celebrities are being evacuated? No joke, Anderson Cooper just said that Olivia Newton-John and James Cameron have both had to leave there homes.

That's right. No joke.
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If you didn't catch Bill Maher's show on HBO on Friday, you really missed some exciting live television...



It's nice to see that screaming morons aren't only confining themselves to comedy clubs anymore...

Friday, October 19, 2007

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I was on Sirius Radio OutQ in the morning today to promote my new show, "The Ben and Dave Show", for the Here! Network. Seems like I should've promoted that on Rubinville before the show, but I guess you live and learn.

The point is that this new show is gonna be HUGE, like capital letters huge. More info shortly...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

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For reasons that I can't explain, I found myself watching GWB's press conference at the White House yesterday. As always he talked about freedom, democracy and all that stuff that he likes to think has something to do with why we are nation building in the Middle-East. While I've heard it all before, I did have a revelation during this particular speech. I can no longer refer to GWB as "President Bush." His seeming lack of understanding of international politics, coupled with his disdain of the free press and his evil little grin are just too much. So, for now on, I will only refer to him as George. Not George W., not George Bush, just George. Cuz really that's all he is. Just some guy named George that somehow ended up in as the President.

Moving on from a guy named George to a guy who wants his job, Sam Brownback has officially thrown in the towel of his presidential campaign. I'd write more about him, but it'd be ashame if the guy had more written about him after he quit.

Been playing basketball on Wednesday nights at a gym down by Union Square. Dare I say I'm playing the best of my life. I've got this new spin-move, ala Vince Carter 2004. Conversely, I have the dunking skills of Vince Carter 2033.

Just read that George is warning of World War III. This guy is just kooky...

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

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This kind of compassion is rarely seen on TV, so I thought it was worth a post...

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George Lukas, the only person pictured above who has never won an Oscar, has officially announced a new Star Wars TV series. The show will be about the expanded Star Wars universe, and there will be nobody named Luke, Anakin or Yoda in it. I'm sure it's going to be amazing stuff and will further push the technological limits of what filmmakers can do. Maybe I can make a guest-cameo as the first Jedi/comedian.

Actually, I think I'd rather be a Sith Lord. Darth Comicus has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Now back to news in our universe. I get a little sick in the stomach anytime I see Bill and Hillary hugging. It's not totally nauseating like when Al Gore kissed Tipper, but it's still pretty bad. Actually, the whole thing is kinda sad, you know poor Bill just wants a BJ, and instead the only human contact he gets is hugging a robot in front of big crowds.

Did I need to capitalize "BJ" right there? I'm not sure, but I guess that's just how strongly I feel about the issue.

I'm thinking a second post later today. Let the guessing game begin...

Monday, October 15, 2007

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Rudy will even have us prepared for an alien attack...



Come 'n get us, Klingon's....

Sunday, October 14, 2007

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If you've ever seen anyone look cooler while drinking coffee, I'd like to hear about it...

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

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I caught just enough of the Republican debate last night to be reminded that these people are all freakin' lunatics. Ironically, the one guy who I don't think is a lunatic, Ron Paul, is framed as a lunatic by everyone else, including the media. Yea, it's a fine political system we got here.

Rudy and George Hamilton, err, I mean Mitt Romney, got into a spat over who lowered more taxes when they were in office. They both spouted out a bunch of numbers which means that one of them or both of them is lying. While we'll probably never know the truth, my sources tell me that John McCain was spotted asking Romney which brand he uses for that oh-so healthy glow. Romney refused to answer directly, but did say that he lowered the price of Loreal Sunless Tanning lotion three more times than Rudy did while in office.

As I mentioned yesterday, I saw Joy Behar at the Zipper Theatre last night. No surprise, she was great - riffing on politics, her family and celebrity culture. She is herself, she tells the truth, and, of course, is funny - the three main things that any comic should aspire to do. While I knew that before, watching someone really own it, especially when you're sitting in the front row, can make it all the more obvious.

Now excuse me, I got a lot of work to do...

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

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I'm going to see Joy Behar tonight at the Zipper Theatre in midtown. I'll be sure to ask her why she is holding Robin Williams' package in the picture above.

Full report tomorrow...

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

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Everyone is making a big-woop, pun-intended, about Whoopi Goldberg's comment to Nancy Pelosi on The View today, effectively saying she'd like to have sex not only with Nancy's husband, but with Nancy herself.

I like Whoopi despite that rather grotesque image, but her comment did make me ponder something. What if the the sexes had been reversed in that situation? Like if David Letterman had Dick Cheney on the show and said that he'd not only like to bang Lynne but also Dick, too. Somehow that would seem far worse and I don't think it's simply because of the horrible image of a naked, pasty-white, Dick Cheney.

Or maybe it is...
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ABC's new Caveman show debuts tonight, and I'd be willing to bet that it won't be nearly as good as any of the commercials, particularly this one...



Some things are just better done in 30 seconds.

(Insert sex joke here.)

Just read that the jury found that Isiah Thomas sexually harassed a former New York Knicks executive. How many more people in sports have to harass women/kill dogs/murder people/do drugs, etc., before ESPN launches a 24-hour legal channel?

Actually, they could just change ESPN2 to that, it's just spelling-bee's all day, anyway...

Monday, October 01, 2007

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Joy Behar was on Larry King on Friday night. So, I was watching Larry King at 10 pm on a Friday night, what's it to ya???



I actually have a hilarious story about meeting Joy on the street last year, but I'm gonna wait til I'm on the show to reveal it. Yea, that's right, I'll be replacing Elisabeth Hasselbeck when she goes on maternity leave.

Watch TMZ.com pick up that little juicy bit of info and run with it...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

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The media is abuzz with some comments that Bill O'Rielly made about eating at at restaurant in Harlem. I won't recap the whole thing but I found one particular comment he made interesting. He said that there was not one person yelling, "M-Fer, I want more iced tea!" I find this a bit curious not only because it implies that black people speak vulgarly, but because it implies that black people love iced tea and demand it quickly. If that is so, it confirms what I've long thought...I am part-black. I've had my suspicions for a long time, but now, between my love of a refreshing glass of iced tea, my big penis and my excellent basketball skills, I can finally conclude that this is the case.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a walk up to Harlem to get a glass of cool iced tea, a box of extra-large condoms and some new basketball sneakers...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

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Pictured above is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, just minutes before his speech at Columbia University yesterday. He spouted his usual stuff about America, Israel and the West, though this time introduced a little known fact about Iran, that there are no homosexuals there. This drew laughter from the crowd and monkey-face himself seemed to smile at what he said, which for a moment had me thinking that he wants to start a career in stand-up comedy.

I wonder if he'll do the cattle-call for the next season of Last Comic Standing.

He'll be giving a speech at the United Nations today, which I'm sure will cast light on other interesting facts about Iran. My sources tell me that this will Include that Iran actually possesses fire-breathing dragons and whales that shoot lasers from their eyes.

Unrelated, I had a dream last night that I was in a high school classroom that was being taught by Hillary Clinton. I asked her a question that somehow implied that I didn't like her and she kept me after class where she told me that, "I'll get you." Then we both got naked and I did her on the desk.

I made up the last part, but I thought it made the dream more interesting.

More dream political and dream analysis tomorrow...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

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Hillary Clinton called Dick Cheney, "Darth Vader" yesterday. While I can appreciate her sentiment, I don't think Dick can do this...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

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Kelsey Grammar, shown here as The Beast, from the third X-Men movie, debuts tonight as an anchorman with a big ego (brilliant, really), in the new Fox sitcom, "Back to You." For some reason I really can't wait until they cancel this thing.

Let the countdown begin...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

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OJ Simpson got arrested today for some shit that went down in Vegas. In case you forgot, he should already be in jail for murdering two people. For those of you who didn't have a telelvision back in 1994, enjoy this comical car-chase...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

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I prefer to honor this day by remembering the Twin Towers like this.

Back to business tomorrow...

Monday, September 10, 2007

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That's just a little clip of Ms. Spears rehearsing for last night's MTV's Video Music Awards. Though I didn't watch, I have read enough this morning to know that they were pretty horrible. Considering that MTV is basically 24 hours of reality show garbage, I'm not quite sure why people are surprised by this, but I guess we just want more out of our overpaid, under-talented pop-stars and their sidekicks.

I'll leave it at that before I start on our underpaid, over-talented comics without sidekicks...

Friday, September 07, 2007

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Yea, two posts in one day. And this one has my Pissed, with a capital "P". Please watch the one minute clip below and listen to the words...



That's the beginning of the GI Joe cartoon from the mid-80's. Not only was GI Joe's tagline, "A Real American Hero", but the song is filled with lines about fighting for his country and defending American from Cobra, a ruthless, terrorist organization. That all just came to an end, as it has just been announced that in the 2009 movie, GI Joe will be a global task force, and not an American fighting force. There's about a hundred things that I want to say about this, but I'll just go with the top three...

First off, what is Hollywood's fascination with removing anything positive about America from all it's movies? For those of you who remember that horrendous Superman movie of last year, they took out the part about "the American way" from the classic line of Superman standing for "truth, justice and the American way." The only thing I can think of is that this panders to international markets which wants to see America somehow as evil, and it'll sell more tickets to make Superman, and GI Joe less American.

Secondly, this once again takes something that was great at it's inception and changes it just for the masses. Without getting into the whole Tranformers thing again, Hollywood insists on pumping out over-produced, heartless drivel, instead of anything with real substance. Hmm, maybe a movie about a good American fighting force battling against terrorists would be good for the country, and maybe even the world. Apparently not, at least if it comes from Hollywood.

Thirdly, these people who write and come up with these ideas really need to be banned from the business. After nine years of barely being in it, and still having some integrity, I think if you embedded in the business and have no integrity, you should have to sit through 24 hours of your own shitty movies until you rip your own eyes out.

I'm just thankful that the Thundercats are from another planet altogether or I'm sure they'd somehow turn that movie into anti-American crapola as well. Actually, I'll reserve judgment on that one, these guys can screw up anything...
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I saw Larry David last night over at the 92nd Street Y alongside Susie Essman discussing the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. They actually showed us the upcoming season premier which hasn't aired yet and it was really hilarious. It was nice to sit in a crowd and be one of the laughing people instead of the one making people laugh for a change. The night was a great time and it was inspirational to listen to someone on the top of their game talk about what they do, even though in Larry's case, he clearly couldn't care less whether he was there or not. I think somehow therein lies the brilliance.

Speaking of brilliance, I have to pee...

Thursday, September 06, 2007

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If this means that Jay Leno will be running as Fred Thompson's VP, I'm leaving the country...

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

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Check out this clip of Senator Larry Craig talking about Bill Clinton...



If there is something beyond irony, I think you just saw it...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

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In case you fear for the future of America, well, this ain't gonna help...

Monday, August 27, 2007

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George lost another old Texas buddy today as Alberto Gonzalez has just stepped down. Fortunately for GWB, Alberto clearly won't recall anything that happened during the last few years, so there won't be a tell-all book. Now, check this out and prepare to cringe in horror...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

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This is Emma, my dog, who I adopted about a year and a half ago. Emma was rescued from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina and despite being so sick that she couldn't stand, she was able to keep all of her puppies safe until they were found. I wrote about her story way back when I first got her, but I felt it was worthy again since this whole Michael Vick dog-fighting case. As you can see by her face, Emma is part pit-bull, and thus could've been used in one of those fights, or just has fodder for a more aggressive animal to practice on.

I'm not sure what I think is fair punishment for Vick - a man who not only bank-rolled a major dogfighting operation, but also apparently took part in killing dogs - but hopefully someone will see this picture and perhaps punch themselves in the face instead of going to a dogfight if they really feel the need to get out some extra aggression...
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I had a dream last night that Rudy Giuliani was at my parents house and I served him a cup of hot tea. As you know, I like the guy, but when candidates are creeping into your dreams and having you wait on them, it's bit much...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

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I don't find Mr. Bean funny, but I'm willing to accept that other people do, and maybe I'm just missing the boat.

Blue Collar Comedy, however, sucks.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

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Check out this video of Hillary not only saying that the troop surge is working, but also telling us that there is a new war coming. Call me old-fashioned, but I think we should mismanage one war at a time...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

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In case you thought Hamas was just about killing Jews and Americans, check out this clip from their new children's TV show...



We can only pray that the lion will one day break free from it's cage and enjoy a bee sandwich...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

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New York Yankee legend Phil Rizzuto passed away yesterday at the age of 89. My memories of Phil are mostly of him doing color commentary for the Yanks when they were pretty awful in the late 80's/early 90's. He was fun and silly, but most of all he could make any hit sound like a homerun, even when it was a pop-up to the second baseman. In a day when sportscasters over analyze and pontificate about everything, we could use more of his simple, care-free style.

Instead of saying, "So Long Scooter", which both the NY Post and Daily News have on their covers today, I'll just say say what Phil would've said on a routine grounder to short..."Holy Cow!"

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

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And now a story about a nuclear device...

So on Friday night there was an unconfirmed report that there was a nuclear device somewhere on 34th street in Manhattan. I saw this report on the Channel Eleven News while having ice cream in New Jersey. (Why I was having ice cream in New Jersey is a story that is so convoluted I can't begin to get into right now) Anyhoo, we saw this report, made a couple jokes about it, and then hopped in the car and headed back to NYC. Needless to say, the nuclear device never went off, and we are all 100% intact.

The point of this undetonated nuclear device story is that we clearly have all become so desensitized to terror warnings that I got in a car and headed directly into NYC despite the chance that it wouldn't be there when I arrived. And it's just that kind of crazy, in-your-face bravado that makes us better than them, ain't it?

Take that terrorists!

Monday, August 13, 2007

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Karl Rove, the architect of the Bush presidency, is stepping down later this afternoon. Frankly, he should've been fired after this little incident...



I had a good weekend. How was yours?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

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Hillary getting booed. Pretty sweet.



In other news, Barry Bonds, who also should be booed, is now the all-time home-run king. I find it interesting how few players will actually call him out on this steroids use considering the amount of evidence and the fact that two of his former trainers are now in jail. While I'm sure he is enjoying this moment in time, it must be tempered because of his small testicles...

Friday, August 03, 2007

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I won't be a guest star on the show until 2009, but that's a sneak peak of what I'll look like when I'm on The Simpsons...
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There's nothing quite like the democratic process in action...

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

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This dog, who goes by the name King George, shot his owner in Tennessee. Google it, to find out how. I don't have to do everything, do I?

Monday, July 30, 2007

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Don't ask how I came across this, just enjoy it...

Friday, July 27, 2007

Thursday, July 26, 2007

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Who ever said the militant-Islamists don't have a sense of humor?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

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NBA Comish David Stern is having a really bad week with this whole ref-mob-betting-scandal. Considering I like the guy, you'd think I would've tried to find a better picture of him. Weird...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

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Jon Lovitz, show in this clip as Jay Sherman in the little-watched but brilliant show, The Critic, apparently kicked the shit out of Andy Dick the other night at the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles.

Being unfunny is one thing, but having Jon Lovitz beat you senseless is something else entirely. I think comedy will be Dick-less for awhile, thankfully...

Monday, July 16, 2007

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I'm a little leary of admitting this, but I feel that it's important to put out there. I, David Rubin, have never read a Harry Potter book, nor seen a Harry Potter movie.

That is all.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

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I'm no fashion expert, but wearing a shirt with your own face on it is, well, tacky.

Speaking of tacky, not posting enough on your website is also such, and thusly the rest of the week will be postfully delicious...

Monday, July 09, 2007

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Katie Couric is on the cover of New York Magazine this week, with the headline, "Katie Couric's Impossible Year."

Funny, I'm doing alright, despite making less than the 15 million she is pulling in this year. I truly am a human dynamo...

Monday, July 02, 2007

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I thought about it all one more time and decided just to shelve the whole Transformers Movie discussion for now. I guess I'm using the old "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" rule. That being said, enjoy these clips of Soundwave, for he wasn't in the crappy, Hollywood, bullshit thing I saw the other night...

Friday, June 29, 2007

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Did some thinking about Megatron and friends and then changed my mind from earlier. I will write a full review of the movie to be posted later today. It'll be easier than responding to all the e-mails, texts and phone calls I'm getting. Yea, I'm cool...
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Those of you who have been listening to Rubinville Radio know that I got two free tickets for an advance showing of Transformers last night. Actually, not only did I get two free tickets, but also free popcorn and soda. Yes, life is good, people.

I don't want to give anything away a full week before the movie comes out, but I will offer up one positive thing and one negative thing. On the positive side, the last half hour is some of the most intense action in movie history. On the negative side, humans take way too much of a role at the expense of the Transformers themselves.

And now the waiting game for Transformers 2, begins...

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

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It's a big day people, a big day. Not only is it my 31st birthday, but this is also my 700th post here on Rubinville. If one person has ever had a more momentous day, I'd sure like to hear it.

Rubinville Radio LIVE tomorrow at 3, I don't work on my birthday...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

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I'll be damned, I like Hillary a little more after this...



Rubinville Radio LIVE at 3 pm...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

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Rubinville Radio LIVE in 5 minutes. That's 300 seconds for those of you who use seconds to quantify time...

Monday, June 18, 2007

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No, that's not the volcanic planet of Mustafar, where Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi fought their fateful duel. In fact, it is our own very sun, which has been shining brightly for a couple days now. While you know that I like to be outside during such days, there will be a LIVE radio show today at 3 pm.

Unless, of course, the sun explodes or something, but if that's the case I'm sure you will have more important stuff to do anyway...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

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I watched a few minutes of this garbage last night. Unlike last year when I watched, I did not puke this time. Therapy is obviously working...

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

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New Transformers commercial from yesterday...



Radio LIVE today at 3 pm, get excited...

Monday, June 11, 2007

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According to my sources, so many people hated The Sopranos last night that HBO.com actually crashed due to the amount of people trying to register on the site to complain about it. Personally, I didn't think that it was that bad, though it needed a little something more. Even if Meadow had been hit by that truck on the way into the restaurant it would've been enough for me.

Either way, it was a great show while it lasted, and now I'll have to find a new show to replace it with. Ath the moment it's a toss up between National Bingo Night and...ahh, who am I kidding? It's definitely National Bingo Night...

Monday, June 04, 2007

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Watched the Democratic debate last night, hence the picture of this donkey/ass.

Rubinville Radio is LIVE everyday this week at 3. Asses beware...

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

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Apologies for not being around much this week, but I've been helping the whales get out of the San Franscisco Bay.

LIVE radio tomorrow. Time TBA...

Friday, May 25, 2007

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President Bush got crapped on by a bird yesterday. My sources tell me that it was sent by moveon.org...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

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Okay, forget the something and The Thing, we're officially back on for today, 3 pm.

Why don't I have an assistant to deal with this nonsense?
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Something just came up and I'm going to have to postpone today's radio show. Until I'm back enjoy this picture of The Thing from Fantastic Four...
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Rubinville Radio LIVE today at 3 pm, with special guest and Best Week Ever staple, Melissa Rauch.

Keg party at my place after the show...

Monday, May 21, 2007

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One-time peanut farmer/awful President Jimmy Carter said that the Bush administation is "the worst in history" a few days ago. While this has caused a war of words between he and the Bush people, I found his other comment more interesting...

"Rubinville is the best website in history."

LIVE radio, 3 pm, tomorrow...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

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If you didn't listen live today, I highly recommend you check out the archive of today's Rubinville Radio. I don't think that there has been such political insight since they signed the Constitution itself...