Daddy Complex

Meet Ramajit Raghav, the world's oldest father at 94 years old. His spring chicken of a wife, 59 year old Shakuntala, gave birth to their son a month ago. Ramajit says he did much praying and that the child is "god's gift."

Seems to me like Viagra was the real gift here. And if not, they should be selling this guys blood.

Oh, also it snowed here in the north east, did you hear about that?

Close Encounters of the Political Kind

New reports say that the democrats are consulting Steven Spielberg to help them rebrand themselves. So far the only thing he has offered up is to make Nancy Pelosi look more alien-like, though her plastic surgeon says that is scientifically impossible.

Here are several other jokes that would've worked there:

• He has recommended that like ET, Harry Reid hide in a child's closet until it is safe to come out. (Better right before the election.)
  
• He told house democrats to shape their mashed potatoes into Tea Party Republicans and then smash them.
• Mentioned that they might want to stop referring to President Obama as "the Minority Report" president.
• He reversed roles with them and asked for help rewriting the end to "AI."
• He told them to get the names of the people on Schindler's List and ask for campaign donations.

Got any more for me? Did I skip something glaringly obvious?

Elclipse This

Check out this pretty amazing video of the lunar eclipse last night. Did any of you guys have crazy dreams all night long? I think I had a total eclipse of the brain...

Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse from William Castleman on Vimeo.

Gone Ice Fishin'

Didn't get much done in Rubinville this week. Call your local congressman for a tax rebate.

(Back in action next week, just got a lot cooking. Hope everyone is staying warm.)

Bill Back, Barack Bounced

Bill Clinton may have just begun his third-term in office. Don't think it's possible? Let's go to the videotape...

Not only does Bill say, "Please go" as he waves his hand at the President, but check out how comfortably and seamlessly he takes the next question and leans on the podium as if to say, "Yea, you all know I still got it."

No word whether he'll be shacking up with Michelle tonight...

Bea Arthur: Marine Chick

In perhaps the most incredible story to be leaked in recent memory*, The Smoking Gun has revealed documents showing that Bea Arthur was one of the first members of the Women's Reserve and spent more than 30 months as a typist and TRUCK DRIVER in the marines. If Bea could possibly do anything else to cement her legendary status I think this is it. As if Jennifer Anniston could drive a truck for the marines. Puh-leeeease!

Actually, come to think of it, World War II wasn't the only conflict that Bea has ever been part of. Let's not forget her stint as a bartender on Tatooine during a rather difficult time for the rebels in the 1979 Star Wars Holiday Special...

Since that special was a major flop (though I can't see why), allow me to also post this clip from The Golden Girls, which I once heard Bea say was her favorite episode because she got to sing. Yes, that's right, and acting, singing, typing, truck-driving, substitute teacher who lived with her mother in Miami. Take that, Anniston!

*I'm not that impressed by Wiki Leaks anyway. Remember, I used to smoke a lot of pot and watch CNN for hour after hour in college. I knew most of this stuff.

The Third Time's the Charm...Please

The trailer for Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon was just released. My feelings about the first two Michael Bay debacles are well documented, yet I'll probably see this one at midnight on opening night. Not sure if that makes me a total sucker or a wide-eyed optimist.

Or should I say a wide-eyed Optimist Prime?

Rim-shot, please!

So, with personal reservations out the wazoo, here is the trailer...

Hall of Famous People

Sylvester Stallone has been inducted to the Boxing Hall of Fame. Sure, he never has fought a real round in his life, but I think it's fair to say he's done more for boxing than most real boxers. While this seems like a perfect opportunity to post any of the numerous Rocky training montages, I thought I'd go with something a little more wordy...

Burp, Belch, Boyle

The web is buzzing over Susan Boyle stopping mid-song on The View yesterday because of a frog in her throat. (I assume figuratively.) But what got missed in all this was that I'm pretty sure Whoopie burped in the same segment. Here's the clip below, note Whoopi putting her hand toward her mouth at 1:33 and then the sound at 1:35...

It's all made even funnier by Sherri saying, "There's something of an angel that comes out when you open your mouth," right as Whoopi belches.

Oh, live TV, I look forward to you mocking me one day for normal bodily functions...

Prime Time

The Transformers are back tonight, Michael Bay-lessly, in a new mini-series called Transformers: Prime. Not only do the Autobots and Decepticons look more like their original selves, but Megatron even has his real voice back, courtesy of Frank Welker.

Catch Transformers: Prime tonight on The Hub. And the child in me lives on...

Surely You Can't be Serious

Unfortunately, I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. Leslie Nielsen has died.

While he'll mainly be remembered as the doctor in Airplane! and as Lieutenant Frank Drebin in Naked Gun, I'll also always remember him as Blanche's uncle Lucas, who married Dorothy in the series finale of The Golden Girls.

More on him tomorrow, but for now enjoy this little clip which added a little strangeness to the finale...

Turkey Time

Just wanna wish you all a happy Thanksgiving.* Like most people it is my favorite holiday and I plan on eating 'til my heart is content, and then eating some more. Hope you do, too.

*Showing a picture of a turkey getting ready to eat turkey is a little deranged, but it was that or the turkey that Obama pardoned earlier, and he got enough press today.

Ahhhhhh'll be Back

Every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie scream ever. I mean, what more can I add?

Via FilmDrunk via HyperVocal

One Hand Scans the Other

Here's a story that sums up everything you need to know about politics and cronyism in 2010.

Former Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff represents the company that is selling the scanners Homeland Security is buying for the airports. Seems like with three cable news channels we'd all know about that, right? Well, thankfully there is C-Span. (Now that's something you don't hear often.)

Tell 'em, Representative John Duncan of Tennessee...

Iron Avatar Aliens Wars Man

Real-life Iron Man suits are now being tested by Raytheon Sarcos, a defense contractor in Utah. Frankly, I think the suit looks more like the thing Sigourney Weaver used in Aliens or what the general used in Avatar, but we'll stick with the Iron Man reference since that's what CNN went with here.

The name Raytheon Sarcos definitely sounds like it could've been a bounty hunter from Star Wars, though.

Now check out the future of war, or past of movies...

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

The Pentagon is telling us that what we've all been calling a missile for the last few days was actually just a plane. Right, cause planes often look like this, and also often nobody knows what they are for a several days.

I don't mind being lied to but at least make up something fun, like aliens or monsters or super-alien-monsters.

Let's take just one more look...

If you aren't a conspiracy theorist you can read the Pentagon explanation here. Still though, a little creativity wouldn't kill the government, would it?

Making Contact

Had he lived longer, today would've been Carl Sagan's 74th birthday. Sagan, for those of you who don't know, was an astronomer, astrophysicist, cosmologist and perhaps most famously, a regular on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. (Way back when The Tonight Show was a relevant piece of Americana.)

I didn't know about Sagan until 1997, a year after he died, when I went to see Air Force One* with a couple buddies from college. The movie was sold-out, so we took our extremely stoned selves and went to see some flick we had never heard of called Contact. We managed to get to our seats just in time and then saw this...

That brilliant panoramic view of the universe had me hooked, and the whole idea behind the movie really began a change in the way I thought about the world. It is still one of my top-five movies to this day, and I think Jodie Foster's best work. I read a couple of Sagan's books after seeing the movie, including "Billions and Billions," which is my favorite work of non-fiction. Sagan actually wrote much of the book while dying, and it was finished by his wife Ann Druyan. Actually, she is an author and cosmologist herself, and was on Real Time with Bill Maher a couple weeks ago.

Oh, I probably should have mentioned above that Sagan was the author of the novel "Contact," which the movie was based off of. (Was that not clear?) As a scientist, Sagan was a much better stickler for detail than I am.

Clearly.

*Air Force One is a pretty solid movie, too. The kind you can catch any rainy day, no matter where in the movie, and curl up and watch. Am I right, or am I right?

Wheel of More Than Fortune

This woman is just outright mocking Vanna White. And clearly the fix is in over at The Wheel...

The Cleveland Show

Just saw this pretty great fan response to that LeBron James commercial I posted last week. Seems the city hasn't quite gotten over "The Decision" just yet...

If You See What I See, If You Feel What I Feel

On this 5th of November, it seems fitting to post this brilliant scene from "V for Vendetta." As a comedian/podcaster/blogger/babbler I'm a sucker for words, and this is a pretty spectacular use of them...

Election Erection

The country turned mostly red last night as the Republicans picked up a ton of seats in the House and a bunch of seats in the Senate. Blue now seems only to exist in the Northeast and West Coast, which makes me wonder why Democrats usually seem to live near water. I've always said gay people lived near water for an easy escape, and I guess it now applies to Democrats as well.

I'll gladly listen to other theories on the matter.

It seemed election night was more about the media coverage than the actual results themselves. FoxNews was like a giddy group of obnoxious kids, while MSNBC was a bunch of snarky, whining babies. I actually watched the least of CNN, which must have set some kind of record for "most pundits with the least interesting things to say" ratio.

I'm still a little confused as how having partisan pundits discussing election results counts as election coverage in the first place. They all just give party talking points and regurgitate the same BS that the other guys say when the shoe of power is on the other foot. I found many of the people I follow on Twitter far more insightful than the 20 people had CNN locked in The Situation Room last night. (Though my sources say that had quite and after-party in there including Paul Begala doing body shots off of Candy Crowley.)

Anyway, like all of them, I had watched, commented, tweeted about it and will continue to do so. I guess that's the real state of social media and politics in a America in 2010. It can keep us all busy enough with our own opinions that by the time the other guy clicks send on his tweet you're already 128 characters into your next one.

#RubinPalin2012

#joke

#orisit

Chinese Tea Party

Just caught this commercial from a group called "Citizens Against Government Waste." It's pretty jarring, especially on the same day we all (or about 40 percent of us) exercise our right to vote. Ironically, right after I voted I ate Chinese food for lunch.

I'll be tweeting all kinds of election fun throughout the rest of the day so make sure you're following me @Rubinville on Twitter. Also, we're guest hosting on Sirius OutQ tonight, 6-9 pm. Sirius channel 109, XM channel 98.

Now how do you say "Go Vote" in Chinese?

Stiff Upper Lip (And Brow)

The hot rumor in Washington at the moment is that if the Democrats lose their majority in the House that Nancy Pelosi will retire. I'll do more of a political roundup tomorrow, but this does make me ponder one question: Does the House retirement plan include Botox?

Cause if not, I could see her stringing this thing out a couple more years...

Sludge Report

The picture above is the headline from the Drudge Report last night. It's pandering, race-baiting journalism at it's worst. Not only does it turn out that Clinton didn't ask Meeks to dropout (Charlie Crist did), but also the implication that it would have had anything to do with race is a flat out lie.

Meeks is polling around 15% and Clinton and the Democrats are afraid that Meeks and Crist will split the vote, thus allowing Tea Party candidate Marco Rubio to win. If Meeks were white or purple or even green (which is very in these days) the Dems would still be pushing for him to drop out. It's a slimy game, and making everything about race only make it slimier.

Drudge, you're a douche.

On a slightly less slimy note, we're en route Atlantic City for the "Out in AC" Halloween event with Margaret Cho, Sandra Bernhard and Perez Hilton. Got any questions you want us to ask the ladies?

Have a happy Halloween everyone!

By George I Think He's Almost Got It

Laura Bush reveals what George has been doing in his free time since being Mr. President. Be sure to watch until the end where she mentions his favorite game on the iPad. If he had only been playing years ago it probably would've helped him through some muffled speeches...

What Should I Do?

Check out this really smart, insightful commercial by Lebron James just released for the NBA season, which tips-off tonight. To think all he did was switch teams and it left him in this kind of profound existential flux. Good thing I never made it to the NBA...

Juan Williams, Lance Bass, Terrorism and K-Mart

NPR fired Juan Williams today after comments he made to Bill O'Reilly after the whole View walk-off last week. The whole thing is layered with tremendous irony because if you've ever seen Juan before he is a rare voice of reason (regardless of the network) and FoxNews specifically brings him on to balance things out with all the right-wingers. I guess his left-wingness just isn't lefty enough for NPR anymore.

Basically, he he was fired for saying when he sees people in "Muslim garb" on a plane that he gets nervous. I'm not defending the statement, however as someone in NYC who is constantly told "if you see something, say something." it does make me wonder what "something" qualifies as, and what are the repercussions of actually saying something.

It all reminded me of the one time I saw something and said something. And not only did I see something and say something, I also made a YouTube video out of it...

New York State of Mind

Having that "2:30 feeling" that they talk about in the 5 Hour Energy commercials? This video from last night's NY gubernatorial debate ought to perk you up a bit. And no, I don't know why the candidate from the "Rent is Too Damn High" party is wearing gloves, although that will be the least of your questions...

Comic Book Guy Concludes: "Best Simpsons Intro, Ever."

I needn't even comment.

The View from Backstage

The View went bonkers this morning. My faves Whoopi and Joy even spent part of this Bill O'Rielly interview backstage. I believe that's a first in all my View-ing of the show. (Sorry.)

Enjoy..

You Are Awesome

Our #GayisAwesome campaign on Twitter really blew up and I'm genuinely humbled and in awe of the response we got out of it. I'm gonna ride these good vibes for at least a week for sure. If you need some good vibes for yourself, feel free to borrow some cause there are plenty to go around. If you weren't part of the action (shame on you), you can check out this video we put up and click here to see the live feed...

Gay is Awesome from The Six Pack on Vimeo.

Honesty is the Best Rarely Used Policy

I've been wanting to get to this one all week, but between the Six Pack, bumping into Jerry Seinfeld and Joy Behar's birthday, I just simply didn't have enough time.

(Cough, cough.)

The video below of Anderson Cooper taking profoundly dishonest Florida politician Alan Grayson to task over an attack ad his campaign put out. It's absolutely emblematic of why people are sick of politics and distrust pretty much everyone on both sides of the aisle.

Anderson does a great job here, "Keeping Them Honest." Grayson does a great job of being a smug douchebag. Here ya go...

Women of Great Wisdom

Was just talking to my cousin, and as I am one to do offered her advice that I learned from my life-coach, Yoda. Here is how the conversation went...

Her: What should I do?

Me: As Yoda said, "Do or do not. There is no try."

Her: Didn't he live on another planet or something? On Earth, we try.

Easily one of the funniest things I've hear in months. Thanks for that, Lindsay! And for those of you who don't remember the Yoda quote, here ya go...

Oh, and speaking of great women, today is Joy Behar's birthday. But to paraphrase Joy from The View earlier today, "Ehh, another birthday, so what, who cares?"

I'm not sure Yoda would agree with that, but happy birthday, Joy.

Not That There's Not Anything Wrong With That

Bumped into Jerry Seinfeld this afternoon. Yadda, yadda, yadda, he won't be doing The Six Pack anytime soon.

So, instead of a Seinfeld interview, I here offer you a German-subtitled "Not that there's anything wrong with that" moment, complete with "YMCA" in the background. I think that makes perfect sense...

Man, He's Smooth

The Presidential Seal fell off his lectern as President Obama was giving a speech on Tuesday night. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a minor technical problem or drunken heckler just wreck a comedian, but Mr. President is pretty slick right here. And somehow I don't think any of the ad-libbing was on the teleprompters...

Rush to See Family Guy

And now back to comedy.

(Phew.)

Rush Limbaugh will be play himself on Family Guy this week. I sense a classic...

Worst Gayest Week Ever

The media is ablaze over an awful gay week. Twitter and Facebook are all filled with people sharing thoughts on the seemingly endless bad news. MSNBC and CNN are going gay-crazy. FoxNews even eased up Tea Party coverage to mention some of what's been happening. I've been trying to wrap my head around it all before commenting.

OK, so first let's review what is going on...

• The Bishop Eddie Long scandal continues to ferment. He gives a sermon without denying the charges and gets a standing ovation to a packed crowd. One of his accusers talks to the media and clearly is telling the truth.
• Several gay suicides including a 13 year old boy who shot himself after being taunted for months for being gay and being a Buddhist.
• A seemingly closeted assistant Attorney General in Michigan is basically stalking and trying to destroy the life of a gay college student.
• Ann Coulter goes on Larry King Live spewing more garbage, a week after being paid by GOProud to spit anti-gay crap in their faces.
• Senator Saxby Chambliss had to fire a staffer who posted "all [gays] must die" on a gay blog.
  

There is probably more, but I'm feeling overloaded and I'm tired of copying and pasting links to terrible things.

Everyone on TV keeps asking why this is all happening and then bringing in therapists and professionals to discuss it. Dr. Phil managed to tell Anderson Cooper tonight that the Rutgers incident wasn't about straight or gay, anyone would have been equally distressed. Really doc? A straight guy would've jumped off a bridge after being caught in college having sex with a girl? Really? Really? College must've changed a lot since my days.

A huge part of the problem are the religious leaders who preach that gay is bad and then undoutably are gay themselves. (Love those iPhone self-pics of you by the way, Eddie.) And, also of course, all the anti-gay politicians who pass anti-gay legislation and are also gay. See Mark Foley, Charlie Crist, Larry Craig, Roy Ashburn, etc.

But another, and I think perhaps even bigger part of the problem, is that we still have virtually no gay role models out there in the media. Yes, we have some gay people on TV, usually to discuss gossip or fashion or to be the sidekick of a reality housewife, but we still don't have any real role models. Just having anything isn't always better than having nothing. And let me be clear, I have nothing against these people, and I'm not judging them at all. I hope they all are who they want to be and are happy, fulfilled people. The problem here is that on one hand the media only rewards gay people who seem to be fabulous, vapid, self-centered fashionistas, and then on the other hand wonders why no gay people have anyone to identify with out there. And then the media wonders why gay teens, who feel profoundly alone because they can't find someone to identify with, suddenly kill themselves.

So, naturally, Perez Hilton, the self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media" tweets about how awful this all is, and various groups start doing videos of celebrities saying it is okay to be gay. And yes, that is good, people seeing that there are people who say it is okay to be who you are. But at the same time everyone knows about all the closeted actors, musicians, TV personalities and news anchors, who all talk about the problem but don't practice what they preach. Instead they tacitly endorse something wrong with gay. And making videos about suicide keeps the focus on suicide, so then all you see on TV are more stories about suicide, and then the same fashionistas and closet cases who wonder why. It is all nobody's fault and everybody's fault at the same time.

It took me a long time in my life to get there, but I wanna say that generally speaking gay people are so much better than straight people. We're funnier, smarter, usually take better care of ourselves, wittier, and yes, even often happier. My gay friends are fun, alive, and engaging. My straight are generally boring and talk about the recession a lot. Sure, I know a couple good ones, my brother, my sister and my friend Jon happen to come to mind, but there aren't many more.

(Sorry straight friends, you guys really are pretty boring.)

I'm not perfect here by any stretch, but I really am trying to do my part in all this. I'm very, very gay. My job is to be gay, pretty much. On The Six Pack each week we talk gay news, we give our opinions, we talk to interesting gay people and allies, and play music by gay and gay-friendly musicians. We don't focus on the negative, something my fantastic on-air partner Ben has preached to me from the beginning, and something I'm only now realizing to be the right way to do things.

Anyway, if you're reading this I have a feeling you're better than all the stereotypes and generalizations. And if you're out of the closet, then you're already doing what Harvey Milk thought was the most important thing a gay person could do, just be seen and heard.

This was probably a bit disjointed and perhaps a little muddled, but being gay 24 hours a day can be exhausting.

You know what makes all of it better, though?

Two hours of The Golden Girls on WE Channel in HD.

Now excuse me, and thank you for being a friend...

On a Comedian I Never Met

Comedian Greg Giraldo died today after a prescription-drug overdose this past weekend. You may not know Greg, he wasn't a huge household name, but was someone who had had some success and was well respected and well liked in comedy circles. (And trust me, it ain't easy to find comedians who are well respected or well liked by other comics.) If you do know him, it is probably from any of the Comedy Central Roasts as he was a mainstay at the events.

I actually never met Greg personally, and only saw him to stand up a few times, but actually we did cross paths quite often and he probably didn't even know it. He lived somewhere up here on the Upper West Side just a few blocks from me, and I would often see him walking his three kids around, including just a couple days ago. Actually, when I saw him the other day I remember thinking how it was nice to see a comedian who had built some kind of normal life for himself.

I also saw him a couple times a week at the gym, which somehow makes this all the stranger. Someone who on the outside appeared to be successful, have a family, taking care of themself and all the rest of it. I'm certainly not saying any of these things weren't true, and the overdose was accidental, but it just shows how tenuous life really is.

Come to think of it, my one other recent thought of him was when I happened to turn on "Last Comic Standing" a couple months ago. He was one of the judges and I kept thinking how tough it must be for a good comic to have to watch all these cookie-cutter, crappy comics, and actually pretend that some of them were good. He did it quite well though, with just enough exasperation to let people know that he knew what was up, and that he got it. I wish I would have asked him about that one of the times I saw him.

In a bizarre but fitting twist to all this, Greg's last two tweets were about a an upcoming gig and another comedian who died too soon...

@greggiraldo
I will be at The Stress Factory in New Brunswick NJ tomorrow thru Sunday night Tix here: http://bit.ly/bkz4vQ
22 Sep

@greggiraldo
Very sad about comedy great Robert Schimmel. We lost a brilliant brave and original comedian and one of the most decent guys I've ever met.

So long to someone I have a feeling was one of the most decent comedians I never met...

She-Ra is 25 and I'm 34

This week marks the 25th anniversary of the Princess of Power herself, She-Ra. For those of you unfamiliar with her (as hard to believe as that may be), She-Ra was He-Man's sister, who was spun-off into her own series with her own villains and with their own set of fairly ridiculous plots. But don't take my word for it, listen to She-Ra explain everything herself...

The show was a pretty big success, though I think we can all agree her catch-phrase, "For the honor of Greyskull", was not as catchy as He-Man's "By the power of Greyskull." Nonetheless, I, along with millions of other children tuned in after school to watch her battle Hordak and his minions of bad dudes. While he was a capable enemy, Hordak was no Skeletor in terms of sheer evil determination and general bad-assness.

Dave, why this trip down cartoon memory lane? It's so out of character for Rubinville.

Right, right.

Well, when I saw that She-Ra turned 25, it reminded me of something else about watching the show when I was a 9 or 10 year old. I do remember having this vague sense of shame, even though I didn't really know what it was, as if I shouldn't be watching a show that was for girls. Really though, there was no reason to think that show was for girls, other than She-Ra was a woman. Besides that, it was pretty much the same thing as He-Man. (Sorry to all of you who want to get really deep on the differences between the two. We can do that about She-Ra and Jem sometime, if you want.)

Ironically, I'd bet that 90% of the kids that watched She-Ra were boys, and I wonder what percentage of those boys were gay and were feeling them same thing I felt. I guess it just shows the subconscious things that kids can deal with while growing up.

Anyway, time passed and I moved onto bigger and better cartoons such as GI Joe and Transformers. Fortunately, neither of those caused any sexual confusion for me, though come to think of it, my two favorite bad guys, Starscream and Cobra Commander were both a little gay. (And voiced by the same guy, Christopher Collins, aka Chris Latta, who in an ironic twist was also a comedian. Sadly, he died a rather mysterious death back in 1994. Man, this post is all over the place, huh?)

Oh, it should be noted that my feelings about this don't apply to all female superheroes. I never really liked Wonder-Woman. The idea of an invisible jet just seemed utterly ridiculous to me.

Now if Betty White had an invisible jet, that would be a show...

A Special White Hoodie

Even though you should all be getting your hoodies at the Rubinville Shop, I'm gonna pimp out another celebrity* clothing line for a moment. Enjoy...

*Oh, let me dream, it's my site, damn it!

They Know What They Like

Check out this little video I took of the sea lions of San Francisco doing their daily routine. Hey, if it works, why change it up, right?

Pondering the Future

Our travels continue, and I am writing this while sitting here in the fake-outdoor space of our San Francisco hotel. The trip has been fantastic so far and you'll hear all about it on Six Pack #53. You did listen to #52, our San Diego adventure already, right? Good.

Anyway, I'm sitting here amongst these plastic trees in an imaginary outdoor space, and while it is actually quite nice, I keep thinking that this is what every day will be like in 2034. You know, as if we'll have destroyed the environment and killed off most of real nature, so we'll have to be indoors all the time with the fake remnants of what once was. Kind of like the movie "The Island", though I at least hope we don't all have to wear those white jump suits, just so monotonous.

Fortunately though, it isn't 2034 yet and we're off to downtown San Francisco to check out the scene, meet people and do a special Six Pack Happy Hour with Equality California. If you're in the area swing by Lookout Bar from 5-9 and join us for a special Six Pack cocktail. I don't know what's in it, but I fully stand by it.

And will fully drink it...

Finger Lickin' Good

Six Pack #52 from sunny San Diego is now on iTunes and SixPackage.com. If this video doesn't make you wanna visit the zoo, I don't know what will...

The Left Hand of Darkness

A new study in one of my favorite reads, The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, says that left-handed people are more prone to anger. I can't begin to tell you how angry that makes me. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

As if that's not enough, the elliptical machine is telling me to run faster. It makes me so angry when machines tell ms what to do.

Speaking of machines, doesn't it get you really angry when machines try to take over the universe like in The Matrix?

Ugh, and The Matrix, I mean what the hell were those two sequels about? Nothing angers me more than poorly thought out, unnecessary sequels.

Damn you powerful right brain for making me so angry. I'll get you and your little dog, too!

(Whoa, I guess they're right, lefties are more creative. Or slightly insane.)

The All-New Ikea Fukn Table

I just wonder if it comes with the Bndvr chair and the Likhere stool...

Animal Fun @SanDiegoZoo

Spent yesterday getting a personal and private tour of the world famous San Diego Zoo. We had no idea we were going to get such special treatment which made the behind the scenes access to the animals all the more amazing.

From hand feeding giraffe's (who have 18 inch tongues, FYI), to actually going inside the elephant enclosure, to an up close interview with Maloo (the koala pictured above), it really was a spectacular day.

Our guide Jorge was a true encyclopedia of animal knowledge. For example, did you know that a flock of flamingos is know as a flamboyant? I mean I guess all that pink was a pretty big hint, but we didn't know that until yesterday.

Big thanks to all the incredibly smiley, friendly people who chatted us up along the way. Working with animals clearly has a positive effect on the human condition.

Oh, but one piece of advice if you ever get to walk into an elephant habitat:

Don't wear flip-flops. Lotta poop there, lotta poop...

Miles Away

I hate to report this all the way from sunny San Diego, but Harold Gould, who played Miles Weber in The Golden Girls has died.

Of course, you all know that Miles was the college professor who was Rose Nylund's boyfriend until it was exposed that his actual name was Nick Carbone and his was a mafia snitch on the run from The Cheeseman.

What you might not know is that The Cheeseman was played by an equally capable actor, Barney Martin, who played Jerry's father on Seinfeld.

Sadly though, Barney also passed away a year or two ago.

As for the writer who decided to have Miles hide undercover as an Amish farmer, I can only assume his career is dead as well.

Betty White will be giving the eulogy at the St. Olaf Cemetery later today.

In less old-dead-man news, The Six Packin' Tour has begun and I am writing this from a bench in downtown San Diego. We're off to the world famous San Diego Zoo today to see if there are any gay animals there. Got any questions for the giraffes or monkeys?

Sorry but I refuse to ask the elephants any questions, they think they know everything...

Apptastic!

The Six Pack app is now live over in the App Store. Extended interviews, Six Pack wallpaper and plenty more bonus content to come. If you’ve got a better way to spend $2.99 we’d like to hear it.

Click here to download

Gay, Set, Match

Sports Illustrated (which still exists, contrary to popular belief) has noted homosexual Carson Kressley rating fashion at the US Open for their website.

Click here to check it out.

On its face, there is nothing wrong with having someone do fashion at a sporting event, and a gay guy should have the same chance to do it as everyone else. Actually, since pretty much all gay guys are on TV are either fashion consultants, hair stylists or sidekicks/assistants to some Real Slut of Something County we should really have more of a chance, but let's just say we should just have an equal chance. You know, kinda like marriage equality. Not anything special, just the same thing as everyone else.

I have no problem with sports and fashion crossing into each other, obivously. But when Sports Illustrated, or any sports website, simply brings in a gay guy to make silly, over-the-top faces and comments about fashion at a sporting even it is actually offensive. This typical stereotyping of gay people is precisely why gay athletes don't come out and why still, in 2010, most gay people don't feel they have any mainstream role models to look up to. Would they have had a female stylist making the faces he's making there? And why is he wearing a crown? Are gay stylists now royalty? (Bravo execs are probably scurrying to write a treatment for that right now.)

I don't blame Carson for this at all, actually. He's just doing what he does and always has done, and that's all anyone does in the entertainment business. And I wouldn't begrudge him or anyone else a chance to make a dime. I fully blame the in-the-box thinkers at Sports Illustrated who decided to do a fashion piece and then figured they'd get some gay guy to really jazz it up. Yippee, a gay guy on Sports Illustrated. We're all so proud. Hey and can we insert little pictures of him making funny faces in each picture? Yea, yea, that's what people expect of the gays.

There's some gay kid somewhere who went to the Sport Illustrated website today to check a late-season baseball score, or see the results of the US Open, and instead got treated to the same cliche idea of gay people that we've all been smacked in the face with our whole lives. Oh, and that same kid is probably on the school football team and not even interested in fashion. (Though to paraphrase Seinfeld, "Not that there's anything wrong with that.")

It's not just closeted Republicans that send us the mixed messages that we get slammed with everyday. It's fools who make editorial decisions for sports websites, it's closeted TV personalities who could make a difference just by coming out, and it's comedians who should probably be doing drag because they'd be a lot more successful.

Now excuse me, I have to go get a brassiere.

What's Wrong with this Picture?

You're looking at a screen capture from the front page of Yahoo! taken just a moment ago. Peruse it for yourself for a moment and then I'll check back in.

Peruse.

Peruse.

Peruse.

Ok, good.

Now, I'm sure you noticed the same thing that I did. Can you believe Perry dethroned Eminem? Did you even know he had his own throne? And somehow they put the Facebook football story before that? It's just so obviously the most important story on that list. There is clearly absolutely nothing else on that list that should be number one there. Absolutely nothing.

Now you'll have to excuse me, I'm off to go pick up some supplies like candles, tuna and a shot gun. You know, cause of the Perry/Eminem situation...

(Note: I was actually talking about the MASS EXTINCTIONS COMING SOON, just in case that wasn't quite clear.)

Poor Anderson

The cable news ratings, via DrudgeReport:

CABLE NEWS RACE
MON. AUG 30, 2010
VIEWERS

FOXNEWS O'REILLY 3,977,000
FOXNEWS HANNITY 2,645,000
FOXNEWS BECK 2,600,000
FOXNEWS BAIER 2,097,000
FOXNEWS SHEP 1,858,000
FOXNEWS GRETA 1,856,000
MSNBC OLBERMANN 1,078,000
MSNBC MADDOW 1,027,000
MSNBC SHULTZ 699,000
CNN SANCHEZ 676,000
CNN KING 620,000
MSNBC HARDBALL 620,000
CNNHN GRACE 586,000
CNN COOPER 581,000

I guess this all begs the question, if you have a cable show and nobody watches, do you have a cable show at all?

(I look forward to finding out for myself one day. Kinda. Oh, you know what I mean...)

Get Outraged

If you haven't listened yet, check out our web-only interview with Mike Rogers, a man who has made it his life's work to stamp out hypocrisy of closeted anti-gay politicians. If you didn't see the movie Outrage you absolutely must rent it immediately. Yes, I am giving homework today.

How I Met My Dog

As I'm sure you know, this week is the 5th anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. In case you weren't aware of that, just turn on CNN and watch the anchors narrate and comment on their own reporting from five years ago. Yes, Rick Sanchez really, really loves himself.

Those of you who have been reading Rubinville for years know that Emma is a rescue from New Orleans after Katrina. She was found in a cardboard box in an alley nursing three puppies. She had a collar on, but with no tags on it, and the phenomenal people at the Humane Society of New York brought her and her puppies up here to NYC.

Miraculously, her puppies were pretty healthy and were adopted a few weeks after making the trip to NYC. Emma however, was really sick with ringworm disease which was very common for the animals that survived. After almost 6 full months of rehabilitation, being fed in her crate and getting all kinds of medication, Emma was finally healthy and ready to be adopted.

She was the only dog we looked and I couldn't possible imagine having any other dog five years later. I guess the point is that out of something truly beyond horrible, that a few good things did come out of it. This is just one thing that affected me personally, but there are thousands of other situations just like this one.

There's a big street fair, actually kinda reminiscent of New Orleans, out on the street in front of my apartment today. I think I'll let Emma have full access to street meat today...

Curb in the Park

Larry David and company are filming Curb Your Enthusiasm right now in Central Park. I couldn't get close enough to hear real plot details but I could hear plenty of four-letter words from Susie Essman/Green.

If I get cast as Larry's nephew you'll be the first to know.

Pigeon Post

Just snapped this picture of a brown pigeon outside the 72nd and Broadway subway station. You don't often see a brown pigeon and the sighting seemed more worthy than just a twitpic.

Actually, there are a bunch of other pigeons a few feet away all doing normal pigeons things but he doesn't seem to be part of the group. I really hope it's not cause if the color of his feathers.

Eh, he's probably just from out of town.

That's Hot

Check out this crazy video of a "fire tornado" in Brazil. What number of the 10 Plagues is "fire tornado" again? Whatever it is, if I was in Brazil I'd be keeping an eye our for an excessive amount frogs falling from the sky today...

Cross Promotional Madness

From SixPackNews, which is where you should be getting all your non-Rubinville-related news these days since we all know CNN.com is so 2009...

Due to a combination of poor planning, road closures and a slow driver or two, there is a 60 mile traffic jam outside of Beijing, China. Authorities say the jam could last into mid-September.

There’s nothing gay about this, but just remember it when you’re complaining about the three person line at Starbucks tomorrow.

Cho on This

The big Six Pack 50th Episode Spectacular will be up on iTunes tonight, but since we love the faithful fans so much we've posted an extended interview with Margaret Cho even before the full episode his the World Wide Web.

Click here and giggle.

Slightly Undercover Cover

You're looking at the cover this week's NEXT Magazine. Yes, I need a new makeup person.

Augemented Reality Bites

They say that augmented reality is the future of all our gadgets, apps and other gizmos. Not sure what that is exactly? Don't feel you need to be part of the revolution? Didn't understand the plot of The Matrix? Too bad, it's happening whether we like it or not.

Now check out this video and see how life is getting one step closer to a video-game...

Golden Eggs

Seven people today (so far) have sent me this picture of Golden Girls nesting dolls. While there is something obviously disturbing about them I clearly must have them.

I hope if this is successful enough that they'll come out with a "Men of Golden Girls" collection including Stanley Zbornak, Miles Weber, Mel Bushman and Salvatore Petrillo.

Let's just hope, people. Let's just hope.

Cho Down on This

We interviewed Margaret Cho today for the big 50th episode of The Six Pack. She was off in Provincetown, apparently hunkering down after a big night of partying. If you aren't familiar with Margaret, check out this video of her doing stand-up, starting with a bit about lesbians and whales. Yes, every comic has a lesbian and whale routine...

Confused at the Museum

Watched Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian today. It was one of those lazy afternoon movies and it caught me in just the right position on the couch to watch it. Now admittedly, I was in and out of conscious throughout the movie, but I really couldn't tell you the plot if you gave me a million bucks. It seemed like a CGI, mish-mosh of twenty things that don't go together. Next time I bump into Ben Stiller on the street I'll have to ask him.

The day of mindless movies continued tonight as I watched a bit of Transformers 2. I'll never forgive Michael Bay for that debacle.

But, don't you worry out there entertainment craving public, Six Pack #49 will be up by the morning...

21 Questions

Ben and I were asked New York Magazine's Daily Intel's 21 Questions. What do I think about 21 things that you may or may not have learned about in all these years of Rubinville?

Click here and find out.

In Local News

There's a new Modell's Sporting Goods opening on the Upper West tomorrow. If you would've asked me a week ago what kind of store we need up here I would've said, "Something like Modell's", so clearly I wasn't the only one thinking it.

Finally, I won't have to get on a subway to buy basketball sneakers, running shorts or an assortment of balls.

Take that "Champs" of Midtown!

Listen Again for the First Time

I know you've already listened to The Six Pack's interview with Barney Frank, but I figured this nice little audio player was worth putting here in case you need a review...

Frankly Speaking

We just interviewed Congressman Barney Frank for a special Prop 8 episode of The Six Pack.

I'm really proud of us today. Now if only President Obama would return that tweet...

Done The Right Thing

It's just another step, but it's nice when the right thing actually happens. Be sure to stay tuned with all the latest news about about the overturning of Prop 8 at our Six Pack news site.

Do The Right Thing

The Prop 8 trial decision is going to be announced any minute now.

My sources say that each network has their own plan if the decision is reversed. MSNBC, being the gayest of the three, will most likely turn off the lights and pass glow sticks around. Fox News will shoot whatever anchor is on air, especially if it's Shep Smith, and CNN will shave Wolf Blitzer, live on-air.

My sources also say that if the decision stands that MSNBC will dedicate the rest of the day to Glen Beck bashing, Fox News will throw a keg party and CNN will shave Jack Cafferty. I'm not sure those all even make sense, but that's what my people are telling me.

No matter what happens, this will all just lead to more legal cases and probably will end up in the Supreme Court. Good thing that the maybe/kinda/sorta lesbian Elena Kagan is probably going to get confirmed.

Oh, and does anyone else still get confused which was YES on 8 and which was NO on 8? That's probably why so many people are upset about this whole thing.

New is the New Old

Lucky me has stumbled into some free Yankee tickets this evening. Somehow I haven't been to the new Yankee Stadium in the almost two full seasons it has been open. There was nothing quite like a beer and a hot dog at the old Yankee Stadium. Can the beer and hot dog at the new Yankee Stadium compare? Could they possibly have as dirty water to boil the hot dogs in? I report, you decide, in a few hours.

The Six Pack got some great press today over at Modern Tonic, take a looksie here.

Hmm, kinda hungry, should I have some peanuts and Cracker Jacks in preperation?

Title This Post

My Top 10, in no order (Feel free to make up your own...)

1. Hot Weiner
2. Crazy Weiner
3. Raging Weiner
4. Feisty Weiner
5. Nutty Weiner
6. Wrathful Weiner
7. Wacky Weiner
8. Heated Weiner
9. Exasperated Weiner
10. Stimulated Weiner

Extra, Extra!

You may be saying to yourself, "What in the high hell is going on with the sparse posting here on Rubinville lately?" Well, rest assured there is a good reason for it. We have just launched our all-new Top to Bottom site, which will bring you all the news stories, everyday, that we think you need to know about. Some will be newsy, some will be fun, and some will be ridiculous. Just a little more from the people that brought you Rubinville and The Six Pack.

Now click over there and put it in your favorites. If you don't, I will know, and I won't be happy. And remember, an unhappy comedian is a funny comedian. Oh wait, that doesn't quite fit in this case.

Hmm.

Oh, just go.

And not to worry, now that it's up, Rubinville will get back to it's usual buzzing self.

Blast from the Paula Poundstone Past

Six Pack #47 just went live on iTunes, featuring our guest Paula Poundstone. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned Paula in all my years of Rubinville, but she was one of my first comic influences from back in the day. I remember seeing this HBO special when I was probably 12 or 13 and being blown away how she was seemingly unscripted and did so much crowd work. I'm not sure there's been an HBO special like it ever since. This is just the first part of it, but you can click the right column on YouTube to check out the rest.

Now prepare to get warped back into the late 1980's...

You can listen to the episode over at BenDave.com or download directly on iTunes.

Chilling with Channing

On air with Frank DeCaro now and just chatted it up with the legendary Carol Channing. Not bad for two yokels like Ben and Dave...

Radio is Fun

We guest hosting on Sirius today from 11 am to 2 eastern on The Frank DeCaro Show. Sirius channel 109/XM 98. /Via Twitter @benanddave

Bop Bo Wop Skee Do Dop

I'm headed this evening to Dizzy's Club Coca-Cola which is at the Jazz Center at Columbus Circle. It's a belated birthday dinner form a suitor who shall remain nameless. Somehow in all my years I've never been to a Jazz club, which seems really strange because I really do love jazz and have some playing in my apartment quite often.

I'm looking forward to commiserating with the musicians about the tortured lives that only jazz musicians and stand-up comedians can truly understand as we sip martinis and smoke cigarettes. Since I don't smoke cigarettes I'll go buy a pack to practice on before I get there.

Now what does one wear to a jazz club? I mean I have my jazz hands, of course...

Fear Not

Barry (one of the famous comment peeps around here), has informed me that the crime rate around Rubinville has been spiking since I haven't been around for a few days.

Fear not, the sheriff is back in town at the very same time that Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. Those two thing combined should give you all the courage to get out and spend money and live your lives as normal once again.

Remember, if you don't, the terrorists win.

And by terrorists I mean other blogs that keep you busy during the day.

Ok, gotta clean and shine my badge, I'll be back later...

I Love New York

Thanks to trusty Rubinvillian Alphonso for passing this one along. It's so great it almost makes me want to go to the east side to ride a train just to see if I can get involved next time.

Eh, actually, it would take a lot more to get me to the east side, but still it's pretty freakin' cool...

Go Flip Yourself Mel

This clip is also from yesterday's View, but starts just before Whoopi's ridiculous defense of Mel Gibson that I posted. Enjoy Joy Behar, not only explaining what a racist piece of crap he is, but also giving him the old Italian flip off, which I plan on helping Joy bring back into the mainstream after watching this...