Ice Pack, Please

For the third or fourth time in a year I have severely twisted my ankle while playing basketball. Dare I say that I am going to have to start wearing some kind of ankle brace while playing for now on.  If I was in the NBA they'd be saying that age is starting to catch up to me and that my best playing days are behind me.  Fortunately, most of my friends are fairly out of shape so I'm still better than them even with one good leg.  

Thank you moderately overweight friends!  Go get yourselves a nice chocolate shake to celebrate you being you.  

Lots cooking over the last week or so (hence a little slow around here), but bear with me and some big announcements will be upcoming...

Pepper in Some Salt

I just read an interesting article about some shocking health (or lack thereof) information at some of the biggest restaurants in the country.  Check it out here.

Personally, I am most upset about Chili's* being on the list because I love that place for some reason.  Actually, whenever Carlos and I are in a strange town (which happens often in this wacky life I lead), we try to hunt out the local Chili's.  After reading that their Smokehouse Bacon Triple Cheese Big Mouth Burger has 3,180 mg of sodium and 122 grams of fat, I simply don't know if I can go there anymore.**  Damn you, Yahoo Health!!!

*Strangely, this is the biggest Chili's logo I could find.

**No, I've never eaten that burger, I usually just go with a salad, but still...

Top Ten

I haven't done this in awhile, so it is time for the Top Ten Google Search Phrases that people use to come to Rubinville.  Here we go...

1.  Dave Rubin

2.  Rubinville

3.  Dave Rubins

4.  Dave Rainbow

5.  Ducktales

6.  Cliff Robinson NBA

7.  Dave Rueben

8.  Governor Dave Rubin

9.  Farts

10.  Dave Rubin comedy

Oh, where to begin with this list?  Well, first off, it is nice that my name is bringing so many people here.  The old list usually had various celebrity names, Star Wars characters and CNN anchors.  So even if people are spelling my name wrong, I welcome them to Rubinville with open arms.

(That doesn't quite explain "Dave Rainbow", but I'll take it.  Oh, and just for the record, I am the Mayor of Rubinville, not the Governor.  This place is a city, not a state.  One thing at a time.)

Alright, gym time, I shall return today, promise!

Black Hole

I don't have much today, so I figured I would put up a picture of a black hole as a metaphor for my mind.  Hmm, maybe I should let you guys offer me some topics, watcha got?

Joyous

Just met Joy Behar at Barnes and Nobles at a book signing for her book "SheetzuCacaPooopoo: Max Goes To The Dogs." We chatted for about a minute and I told her that next time I see her it will be at The View. Hmm, now if I can only score a ticket.

Just kidding people. I'm gonna get booked on that show somehow. Patience is a view-tue. I mean virtue...

Bracketology

2009 Mach Madness is about to start, so I've placed a very small bracket above, just in case you haven't filled yours out.  I actually haven't filled one out yet, either, but since President Obama filled his out on SportsCenter, I will just go with his picks.  (As if he has nothing more important to deal with.)

For the first time in school history, my alma mater, Binghamton University is in the tournament.  Unfortunately, they are playing NCAA powerhouse Duke, so it will probably be a quick exit.  My old school just getting in has rekindled memories of my college days, though most of them are fuzzy cuz of all the marijuana.*

*FYI, I majored in Political Science and minored in Bongology.

Alright, I shall return later to make up for my lack of posting yesterday.  Yes, I owe you one...

Why Not? (Cuz I Can't Afford It)

I've been seeing this commercial for Royal Carribean Cruises and have to say it is quite well-done, especially in a time when every other commercial that I see tell us all how to expect less in these rough times.

Even though I don't see one of these cruises in the near future for me, it's always nice to dream. Now excuse me, I have to go hock my old gold jewelery for some cold, hard cash.

(Yea, busy day today. Full post tomorrow...)

Cobra Commander Conversation

Check out this interview I did with Cobra Commander for The Anti Show, back in 2001. Not only is it still humorous years later, but I think you'll appreciate some of the predictions he makes about the future.

The video was a little screwy from so many years ago, so this is just a still picture of him attached to the audio portion of the interview.

Alright, enough of the clerical stuff, now enjoy the terrorist leader and the comedic mastermind. It's kinda like Frost/Nixon, but people will actually see it...

Farting = Funny

Check out this video of the Medina City Council, in Cleveland, as one of the members farts during the proceedings. It really makes me want to rethink this brand of highly intellectual comedy I usually go for...

Sirius Stuff

I'll be the guest on OutQ's Frank DeCaro Show today at one pm, eastern. That's channel 109 for you Sirius folks, and channel 98 for you XM people.

But Dave, what does the picture of Soundwave from the upcoming Tranformers 2 movie have to do with all this, you ask? Well, Soundwave has been updated and is now a satellite according to my well-placed sources. I guess they just couldn't figure out a plausible reason to have a circa-1985 cassette player in a 2009 movie. Typical Hollywood lack of imagination if you ask me.

If you've got Sirius or XM tune in for a good time. Now you'll have to excuse me as I have to go get camera-ready for radio.

Oh, wait...

Bank On This Guy

This isn't the most hilarious video I've ever posted on Rubinville, but listen to Bill Cooper, the head of TCF Financial, explain why his company is giving back 361 million bucks that government tried to give them.



It goes to show that there were non-shady, decent people out there, and their companies still are doing just fine. Sure, the guy could've taken a couple bucks for a nicer suit, and maybe a even a tie, but it sounds like he is quite comfortable with his decision.

Kinda makes me think maybe I shouldn't have have accepted all that comedy-bailout money they were throwing at us. But once Carlos Mencia and Carrot Top accepted, I felt like I just had no choice.

Alright, I've got a bit of a hectic day, but we're gonna make this a double-post Friday, so I will get back here sometime this afternoon...

Lifetime: Television Not For The Golden Girls

Aright, before I you read this I want you to sit down. (I know a lot of you surf the internet while standing these days.)

Okay, so as you may have noticed, The Golden Girls has not been on Lifetime this week. At first I thought, no, this can't be, it must be an oversight, or a temporary situation at worst. But alas, after doing some research, it is true. The girls have moved on from Lifetime.

Deep breath.

Fear not, friends! They were quickly snatched up by The Hallmark Channel, which apparently felt that 24 hours of programming devoted to greeting cards was a poor business model. Their new schedule is as follows...

Latenight with Dorothy Zbornak, Midnight - 2 am
The Sophia Hour, 9-10 am
St. Olaf Afternoons, 4-5 pm

Those are all weekday times, though there is a rumor there will be a Blanche is a Slut marathon occasionally on the weekend. I will keep you abreast (enjoy the pun) of the situation.

Oh, and to the guy on the Hallmark message board who titled his posting "The Golden Tramps", because Gunsmoke was taken off in favor of the girls, go fuck yourself, sir...

America Runs In The Wrong Direction On Dunkin'

Yes, two posts with a Dunkin' Donuts coffee-cup picture in one week.  I think we can agree that's many less calories than two donut pictures.

So, the two cups above are from the same DD that I get my coffee from ever since I stopped going to the guy in the little booth on the corner.  (I think he was up to no good.)  Anyways, the cup on the left is my large coffee from yesterday and the one one the right is my large coffee from today.

"But Dave, those two cups aren't the same size, I don't understand." 

Good point, Rubinvillian.  Apparently, they ran out of the normal large coffee cups this morning and began using the latte cups instead.  While I thought something was amiss, I figured these decent people at DD couldn't be pulling a fast one on me, and I left.  It wasn't until I got home and compared cup-size that I realized I had been taken for a ride!  A 4-ounce ride, if my measurements are correct!

Look, I know we are in a recession, but if we are going to start tricking people into smaller cups, I might just snap.  And that's not just because I own stock in Victoria's Secret, a company widely known to trick people into increased cup-size...

The Genesis Of A Snow Day

Carlos and I just went to see the new Street Fighter movie. Why in in the lord's name would anyone go see that, you ask? Well, duh, I mean anything based on a Sega Genesis game clearly should be a full-length feature film...

Snow Day

In case you haven't heard, we are in the midst of the biggest snowstorm of the season here in NYC.  I have prepared accordingly, by purchasing dog food (for Emma) and coffee (for me) earlier today.  Now I am hunkering down, watching The View, and wearing my most comfortable sweatpants.  I will keep you abreast of the situation as it unfolds.

Oh, I had perhaps the best standup set of my life on Monday night at our weekly show over at Comix.  Good things are happening, people.  More this afternoon...