The Scope of Imagination

I've gotten a couple e-mails asking where I've been lately I can only respond by saying I saw this commercial and it left me too confused to post anything for a few days...

Nothing like creating an image, right?

I'll be posting everyday with this week, so don't cancel your internet service just yet...

Less is Moammar

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi went on a rambling, incoherent tirade at the United Nations today. When he finished his speech he shook his own hand (pictured above) and announced that he would be playing an alcoholic alien in the new Star Wars TV series.

Now excuse me, I'm craving some pre-dinner Frosted Flakes...

They're SUG-G-GARY!

So, for the past week or so I have been having eating Frosted Flakes for breakfast. (Yea, I'm such a showoff.) I got to the bottom of the box this morning, and ended up with a bowl that was roughly 50% flake and 50% sugar. I feel like a kid on crack right now and consequently have to take a bike ride now before I jump out the window.

More later, after I pick up a fresh box of the good stuff...

Jimmy and Stewie

You've probably read or heard about irrelevant ex-president Jimmy Carter claiming many white people are uncomfortable with a black president. I don't feel like interjecting myself in the debate at this moment as I am trying to enjoy a glass of wine, but allow me to offer-up this little gem.

The way Jimmy Carter pronounces the word "white" puts too much emphasis on the letter "h", much like how Stewie's pronunciation of the word "whip" does the same in this fantastic Family Guy clip...

If you need to hear how Jimmy pronounces the word "white" for yourself, just click here.

(Oh, and please let me know when the late-night shows make note of this comparison.)

Betty (in) White (and Blue)

My good buddy Andrew Tavani, who just won a Daytime Emmy award for his work on Cash Cab, snapped this picture of Betty White while at the Emmy's last week. As you can see, Betty is looking as spry as ever and according to IMBD.com she has a couple projects in the works. (Thankfully there is no mention of a sequel to The Proposal.)

Yea, there are some perks to knowing award winners in this business. And you thought it was just about fruit baskets, didn't ya?

So congrats to Andrew and another pal, Jon Groce, who also won for Cash Cab. (Though Jon only sent me a picture of Rue McClanahan from an old press junket for Mama's Family.)

Alright, I have to run out and get some toilet paper. I have my reasons...

Kanye West: Douchebag or Tool?

I'm not gonna give Kanye West the satisfaction to write about what he did to Taylor Swift since every other website on the planet is doing so, instead I will pose a profoundly impactful question...

Do you think it's at all possible that Kanye and/or MTV/NBC execs planned his outburst knowing that he was a guest on The Jay Leno Show debut the very next night and that it would generate all the publicity that it has?

Just a crazy thought.

I know, I know, network execs could never do something so dubious to a nice, sweet country girl like Taylor Swift, but I just throw these things out there.

Oh, and I did watch few minutes of the Leno Debacle (that's what I will refer to it as for now on), and it was quite awful. Though on a positive note, to paraphrase Joan Rivers, it's an excellent sleep-aid.

On that note, go download episode 15 of the Six Pack, all ya gotta do is click here...

Well, That Explains It

Check out this mind-blowing commercial for a new Juicy Juice drink, designed especially for children...

This pretty much explains everything in my life, as I grew up drinking regular Juicy Juice, which obviously lacked the brain development nutrients I needed. Of course back then we also thought you could get all your daily vitamins from Fun Dip, but I guess you live and learn.

Tomorrow I'll post about the new Skippy Peanut Butter that helps maintain an erection...

The Road More Travelled

I'm writing this while on an Amtrak train from back from Delaware to NYC. Shawn Hollenbach, Claudia Cogan, Jackie Monohan and I just finished up a couple days of road work which consisted of some rockin' shows, a lot of driving and a ton of food. All in all it was an excellent trip even though we didn't find a Cracker Barrel, which was my main reason for going. Despite that dissapointment, I'd do it all again.

Right now I have my phone plugged into the outlet next to my seat even though I havefull battery. For some reason I like usurping the trains power. Take that, state-funded, interstate train company!

Back to usual posts this week. Perhaps while usurping power from my local post-office or fire department...

Comedy: On TV and the Road

I just came across this promo for The Joy Behar Show, which debuts on HLN (otherwise known as Headline News) on September 28th. Comedy at 9 pm. What will Jay Leno think of this?

I'm heading to Delaware and Virginia starting tomorrow for some road gigs. It's been awhile since I've hit the road so I'm actually looking forward to it. If you're a local and want the insider info let me know...

Ben and Jerry Sitting in a Tree

In recognition of same-sex marriage being legalized in Vermont, Ben & Jerry have issued a new flavor of ice cream, Hubby Hubby.

I look forward to finding out what they come up with when marijuana gets legalized.

(Yes, I could've gone 100 different ways there, but I went with a weed joke. Perhaps it was somewhat subliminal because of the pint of Ben and Jerry's I'd scarf down every night in college after smoking dope. Or perhaps it was Ben and Jerry seem like stoners. Or perhaps I just didn't want to make a gratuitous sex joke about ice-cream. All interesting things to ponder, indeed.)

"Comedy" At 10

I saw this ad on a phone booth in Chelsea yesterday for the new Jay Leno Show. As you can see, the tag-line is "Comedy At 10. It's About Time." While I do agree with the hypothesis that something can be funny at 10 pm, clearly they aren't talking about this show. I can only assume that they mean for us to tune in to repeats of Futurama on Comedy Central at 10, and they just put Leno's head there cuz it looks like it's from the outer-space.

Two Leno attacks in a span of 10 posts. See if any other comic in America has the balls for that. I think not!

That's also precisely why when NBC picks up The Dave Rubin Show to replace this 10 pm disaster, the tag-line will be "Dave Rubin: His Balls Are As Big As His Comedy."