Saw Michael Moore's new movie, Fahrenheit 9/11 yesterday. Before I get into the arguements about the Moore's methods of movie-making I have to say that I really respect Michael Moore and what he is trying to do. The left in America has been pretty much silenced because we are at war and those who do speak up just whine (no offense, Janine Gorafolo).

Basically, Moore claims that the Bush family is so entrehnched in defense spending and big oil companies, they they and the Saudi's, who own 7 percent of America, are profitting hugely from our war machine. He links all kinds of people back and forth from the Bush family to the Saudi's and even to the bin Laden family itself. What I really appreciated was the message that this whole thing isn't about some evil plot to run the world, but it is nothing more than all about money and making those who have the money get more money.

On top of that stuff he manages to show what a basically incompentent fool GWB is, although to be fair, Moore doesn't need much editing for that. The highlight of the movie is probably when Moore carefully examines the 7 mintues that elapses from when Bush heard about the World Trade Center until he actually got up from reading a children's book with some 2nd graders. It was incredible watching Bush just sit there, looking dumbfounded, seemingly waiting for someone to come into the room and tell him what to do.

I've been trying to reevaluate where I sit on the war in Iraq and who I'll vote for in the next election. Even if this movie was left-wing propoganda then the same arguement would lead me to believe that Fox News is right wing propoganda. And that leaves me, like most people, right smack in the middle. So, I guess I'll have to work a little harder to figure out what I really think, and what I really believe, and who I can really support.

Oh, and I'll work on getting funnier, too.

Well, finally all this Reagan stuff has passed over. Last week was just a giant80's reunion, wasn't it? George Bush Sr., Magaret Thatcher, I'm pretty sure I saw Mr. Drummond sitting in the pews.

The one guy I felt bad for during the whole funeral was Gorbachev. I mean there he is sitting there while everyone gets up and talks about how Reagan stood up to evil and faced it down, an obvious reference to the USSR and the Cold War. At one point Gobachev elbowed the guy next to him and whispered, "Do you think they're talking about me?"

So last night I'm walking down the street and I see a green minivan with a ton of smoke coming out of it, but no fire. I get a little closer to look and the windows are tinted but it looks like a guy is inside. The smoke smelled kinda funky so I walked away. Then, because Bush keeps telling us to be vigilant, I decided to call 911 and tell them about the smoking truck with the tinted windows.

There were no major explosions last night so I guess that makes me a real American Hero.

John Kerry still hasn't picked a running-mate but whoever he chooses is basically a lame duck becaue he obviously wanted John McCain. That's why even I didn't accept his offer either.

I'm watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, right now. Truly an incredible movie especially when you consider it came out in 1969. It's almost 30 years later and we still don't have true artificial intelligence. Well, except for John Kerry. He's a robot right?

The news has been dominated by the death of Ronald Reagan for the past couple days. I've decided that my favorite news anchor on cable news is Darrin Kagin on CNN. She's smart and hot. In no particular order, of course. Wolf Blitzer comes in a distant second. He's pandering and ugly.

Larry Bird thinks the NBA needs more white players. Maybe someone should remind him that black people are better at basketball.

White people like sports, we're just not very good at them.

Disney stopped Mirimax from distibuting Michael Moore's new documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" so it got picked up by Lion's Gate Films instead. Apparently the Disney higher-ups didn't want to release a movie against the war and bashing GWB. Who woulda thought that Mickey Mouse was pro-war? Maybe we should've known when Disney renamed "It's a Small World After All" to "It's an American Colony and We Love Oil".

I beat Megatron in the Transformers Game on PS2 and thought I conquered the whole game only to find out now I have to go defend Cybertron against Unicron. First thought I need to collect at least 30 Minicons and I only have 24. A days work is never done.

Kick-ass shows continue to go on over at the Comedy Company. Don't believe me? C'mon down. And I don't like that attitude.

The part of stand up that anyone other that a comic cannot, or should not ever understand is how the highs and lows of it happen on a nightly basis. This past Friday I had 3 uninspired, very average sets. Then on Saturday I had 2 fully inspired, great sets. My mood followed the sets accordingly. That's something I'm working on, not letting the lows be too low, or the highs be too high. Fortunately there are many more highs, but it's something I'm working on either way.

And now some humor...

John Kerry announced yesterday that he is "very concerned" about a nuclear bomb going off somewhere in the United States. I don't know about a nuclear bomb, but I'm "very concerned" that John Kerry and George Bush are our only choices for President.

Pistons v. Lakers in the NBA Finals. I feel like it's 1989 all over again. Let's see, where was in in 1989? I was 13. Just got Sega Genesis. Spent a lot of time in my room with the door closed. A fine year, I say, a fine year.

I lost my one good pair of shorts. I don't know how I lost them seeing as I only take them off in my room. I wish I took them off other places, but I don't.

I'm still looking for a producer for my one-man show. I've actually have had two offers from people who read the Daily Dave, but one of them wanted to meet in a dark alley to discuss and the other wanted to know what size bra I wear.

32C, just for the record.

My fish tank has been completely decimated by that bastard craw-fish I put in there. He systematically nipped off all the goldfish, one catfish and a pleco. I tried to remove him myself but he snipped his claws at me and then spelled out, "Don't mess with me funnyboy" in the gravel.

My mom keeps telling me to be more like Billy Crystal and less like Lenny Bruce. Only problem is I just don't care about the pre-1985 Yankees that much.