The media is ablaze over an awful gay week. Twitter and Facebook are all filled with people sharing thoughts on the seemingly endless bad news. MSNBC and CNN are going gay-crazy. FoxNews even eased up Tea Party coverage to mention some of what's been happening. I've been trying to wrap my head around it all before commenting.
OK, so first let's review what is going on...
- The Bishop Eddie Long scandal continues to ferment. He gives a sermon without denying the charges and gets a standing ovation to a packed crowd. One of his accusers talks to the media and clearly is telling the truth.
- Several gay suicides including a 13 year old boy who shot himself after being taunted for months for being gay and being a Buddhist.
- A seemingly closeted assistant Attorney General in Michigan is basically stalking and trying to destroy the life of a gay college student.
- Ann Coulter goes on Larry King Live spewing more garbage, a week after being paid by GOProud to spit anti-gay crap in their faces.
- Senator Saxby Chambliss had to fire a staffer who posted "all [gays] must die" on a gay blog.
Everyone on TV keeps asking why this is all happening and then bringing in therapists and professionals to discuss it. Dr. Phil managed to tell Anderson Cooper tonight that the Rutgers incident wasn't about straight or gay, anyone would have been equally distressed. Really doc? A straight guy would've jumped off a bridge after being caught in college having sex with a girl? Really? Really? College must've changed a lot since my days.
A huge part of the problem are the religious leaders who preach that gay is bad and then undoutably are gay themselves. (Love those iPhone self-pics of you by the way, Eddie.) And, also of course, all the anti-gay politicians who pass anti-gay legislation and are also gay. See Mark Foley, Charlie Crist, Larry Craig, Roy Ashburn, etc.
But another, and I think perhaps even bigger part of the problem, is that we still have virtually no gay role models out there in the media. Yes, we have some gay people on TV, usually to discuss gossip or fashion or to be the sidekick of a reality housewife, but we still don't have any real role models. Just having anything isn't always better than having nothing. And let me be clear, I have nothing against these people, and I'm not judging them at all. I hope they all are who they want to be and are happy, fulfilled people. The problem here is that on one hand the media only rewards gay people who seem to be fabulous, vapid, self-centered fashionistas, and then on the other hand wonders why no gay people have anyone to identify with out there. And then the media wonders why gay teens, who feel profoundly alone because they can't find someone to identify with, suddenly kill themselves.
So, naturally, Perez Hilton, the self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media" tweets about how awful this all is, and various groups start doing videos of celebrities saying it is okay to be gay. And yes, that is good, people seeing that there are people who say it is okay to be who you are. But at the same time everyone knows about all the closeted actors, musicians, TV personalities and news anchors, who all talk about the problem but don't practice what they preach. Instead they tacitly endorse something wrong with gay. And making videos about suicide keeps the focus on suicide, so then all you see on TV are more stories about suicide, and then the same fashionistas and closet cases who wonder why. It is all nobody's fault and everybody's fault at the same time.
It took me a long time in my life to get there, but I wanna say that generally speaking gay people are so much better than straight people. We're funnier, smarter, usually take better care of ourselves, wittier, and yes, even often happier. My gay friends are fun, alive, and engaging. My straight are generally boring and talk about the recession a lot. Sure, I know a couple good ones, my brother, my sister and my friend Jon happen to come to mind, but there aren't many more.
(Sorry straight friends, you guys really are pretty boring.)
I'm not perfect here by any stretch, but I really am trying to do my part in all this. I'm very, very gay. My job is to be gay, pretty much. On The Six Pack each week we talk gay news, we give our opinions, we talk to interesting gay people and allies, and play music by gay and gay-friendly musicians. We don't focus on the negative, something my fantastic on-air partner Ben has preached to me from the beginning, and something I'm only now realizing to be the right way to do things.
Anyway, if you're reading this I have a feeling you're better than all the stereotypes and generalizations. And if you're out of the closet, then you're already doing what Harvey Milk thought was the most important thing a gay person could do, just be seen and heard.
This was probably a bit disjointed and perhaps a little muddled, but being gay 24 hours a day can be exhausting.
You know what makes all of it better, though?
Two hours of The Golden Girls on WE Channel in HD.
Now excuse me, and thank you for being a friend...