Philosophical Dave

As you may know, Hot Gay Comics premieres on television on November 14th. As loyal Rubinville visitors, I wanted to offer you some behind-the-scenes pictures before the debut. Here you can see me being interviewed just before the show, clearly pontificating about the profound difference between a dick joke and a fart joke...

Just Set It And Forget It

I was out doing stand-up last night, so didn't get a chance to see the Barack Obama prime-time infomercial that ran on seven different networks.  You know that a campaign is going well when a candidate can start selling rotisserie chicken roasters.  My sources are also telling me that Obama plans on selling spray-on hair sometime in early 2009.

Heading for a run, will return...

Six Feet Under (No, Not McCain's Campaign...Yet)

Was flicking the channels last night after 10 dollar fajita night and came across the last episode of Six Feet Under. Those of you who have been reading Rubinville for years know that I consider this the best television series ever, and the last ten minutes of the finale the prime example of it's brilliance. I cried like a baby when I watched it the first time, and did so again last night. Here are those last few minutes...

When is the last time you cried to a TV show or movie?*

*Crying during the presidential debates doesn't count...

Guaranteed???

John McCain, pictured here choking and imaginary heathen, yesterday guaranteed a tight election victory next week. A McCain aide later attributed the comment to the fact that John hadn't slept much the night before and "was a little loopy."

10 dollar fajita night at my favorite mexican restaurant on the Upper West Side. Anyone wanna come with?

The View From The Right (Or Wrong)

While I usually take the weekend off from the ladies of The View, I was at the gym today and turned on the TV to find Elisabeth Hasselbeck doing a little crowd warm-up for Sarah Palin. I so can't wait for the blowout on Hot Topics tomorrow morning...

My weekend was pretty normal uneventful except for my friend Dan's bachelor party on Saturday night. It ended at a strip club, where, much to my dismay, there were no three-breasted strippers.

Disappointing, indeed...

Palin' Around With Palin

Sarah Palin continues to insult American intelligence, most recently in an interview on CNN yesterday. She left me no choice but to speak to her directly...

Yo Joe!

Joe Biden, a man fully qualified to be vice-president, president or hair plug expert, was on Ellen today. C'mon Palin, beat this...

Red, White And Black And Blue

America is clearly beat up these days, and consequently CNN is doing polls about it. The main story at CNN.com right now reads, "Poll finds Americans angry, worried." While I agree with that, it seems to be that they are leaving out one other emotion we are all having lately...horny. I've been asking around and people are telling me they are having excessive pre-election horniness. Does that go for you to? What are you doing about it? Lemme know.

HA. No joke, I just wrote that and then went over to MSNBC.com where the headline reads, "Planning for greater depression." The caption beneath it reads, "Special report: From hoarding food and bullets to learning how to sew, some Americans are preparing for even worse economic times."

I'm totally afraid to see what's going on at FoxNews.com.

More this afternoon, unless this depression/anger/horny thing hits...

I Dream of Johnnie

*Note: Pictures won't load this morning, please insert a lovely mental image of John McCain dressed as a genie here.

I had a dream last night that I was some sort of business man and I was in an jam packed elevator with John McCain. He was smushed in the back of the elevator and I thought it was weird that nobody was talking to him. I turned and said "Hello", to which he said, "I'm trying" and then we all got out of the elevator. He then walked right out of the building and across the street, all alone.

So, am I secretly a Republican? What does this dream mean?

Anyone Know A Good Plumber?

The debate basically went as expected. Obama was slick, cool, intelligent and eloquent. McCain was fidgety, nervous, off-message and annoyed. The attacks didn't really stick, and I think you can put a fork in this election, cuz it's done.

That brings me to Joe the Plumber. I just saw a live interview with him outside his home this morning on MSNBC. He matter of factly explained why he is for the war in Iraq, against Obama's tax plan and open to running for office. I actually found him more forceful and passionate than McCain and I think if the Republicans want a chance in hell to win this thing they should replace McCain with Joe the Plumber.

Hey, who can clean up the shit in Washington better than a plumber?

(You saw that coming, right?)

Plumber Joe

John McCain has been focusing on a man named plumber Joe throughout much of this third debate.  While that's all well and good, let's hope that it isn't at the expense of my personal favorite plumber, Mario.

The Third Time Is The Charm, Right?

Besides being lovers, these two men will debate tonight for the third time. The first two debate were little more than preplanned, pandering drivel, but there is always a chance that this one will be different. Of course, there is also a chance that scud missiles will be launched out of President George's ass, but I don't see that happening, either.

Getting away from George's ass for a moment, I have had a pretty badly sprained ankle for the past few days. It happened while playing basketball on Sunday and after a few days of icing the ankle, it is feeling much better today. I went with vanilla icing even though most people said chocolate would help it heal quicker.

There really isn't much other interesting news to talk about today. Everyone is going on and on about how bad the economy is, highlighted by a report today that retail sales slumped hugely in September. Frankly, as long as Spencers Gifts is doing fine, then I think the economy is strong.

Does Spencers Gifts even exist anymore? After living in NYC for years I haven't been to a mall for awhile.

Gotta go out and get a case of wine for the debate tonight. Hmm, Cabernet or Chianti?

Crazy Bitch!

Rubinville visitor Steve, from California, sent me this clip of Betty White discussing politics with Craig Ferguson. No, Betty ain't the crazy bitch, watch out find out who is...

More coming in a little bit. I need some coffee to get the funny going...

Saturday Night Republican

I'm pretty sure that if I've written anything about SNL over the 5-plus years of Rubinville, it has not been positive. What once was a great show, and hugely influential on me in the late 80's and early 90's, has been pretty crappy, to say the least, over the past few years.

However...

The show has had a major comeback in this election season. It is peaking right about now with all this Tina Fey/Sarah Palin stuff. The show has been funny and edgy again, and the impressions have been spot on.

I just read that Sarah Palin herself is going to be on the show in the coming weeks. It seems to me that she should be studying foreign policy and financial markets instead of doing a comedy show that is already doing it right. But, these days, doing a cameo on SNL is somehow more important than knowing anything about the office you are running for.

Where is John Belushi, Chris Farley and Phil Hartman when you need them?

Oh. Right.

Anyway, the point of all this is that if Palin ends up doing stand up on Letterman before me, it's going to be a real problem.

Ok, time to go for a run. I'll be back this afternoon...

What's The Deal With Bumping Into Comedians?

I just bumped into Jerry Seinfeld near my apartment and walked and chatted with him for about three blocks. While I can't divulge the private conversations of two comedians, I did get him to laugh a couple times and vice versa. (Which I'm sure meant a lot to him!)

That's all, I'm too psyched after chatting with a hero of mine to write about politics. Now, I'm going to put on my puffy shirt and go get a marble rye...

Border Shmorder

It's now 10:20 and they have spent the last 10 minutes discussing the Pakistan/Afghanistan border. Frankly, I would've enjoyed more time on the economy and health care because it seems obvious that this guy has the whole border thing under control...

44 Minutes And Counting (And Praying)

We're 44 minutes into the debate, and Tom Brokaw is begging the candidates to keep their remarks brief. While he will surely fail at that, I'm pretty sure he got laid after taking this picture...

950 And Counting

No, 950 isn't the amount of lies that we're going to hear at the debate tonight. It is actually the amount of posts I've done here on Rubinville. (The amount of lies tonight will be in the thousands.) It has been quite a ride so far, and much like the economy, it has had its up and downs.*

*Unlike the economy, however, Rubinville's best days are ahead of it.

I will post during the debate tonight. 951 here we come...

Religulous

After a week of heavy-duty politics, I decided to see Bill Maher's new religion-busting movie, Religulous, over the weekend. It was funny, biting and truthful. Kinda like the exact reverse of Sarah Palin. Check out this preview and then get up and check out the movie.

Full post tomorrow. My 950th post, actually. That sure is a lot of bandwith, I think...

Post Traumatic Debate Disorder

It is not debatable that I am exhausted from this debate induced week. However, being the profesional that I am, I will give you my thoughts on the debate in Haiku form...

There was a debate
Palin is Republican
Bad for this country

Have a good weekend...

Pre-Debate Debate

Ok, last entry before the debate. Check out today's Topical to find out all the insider information you need to know. I assure you it is more fair and balanced than Fox News, and less annoying than Chris Mathews and Keith Olbermann.

Go now...

http://www.heretv.com/APodcastDetailPage.php?id=33

But How Do You Really Feel, Jack?

CNN's Jack Cafferty, one of the last truly independent voices on television today, pretty much sums it all up about Sarah Palin.

What in high, holy hell was she talking about there? Good work, Jack. Now get Wolf to shave and then you can retire.

Debate commentary tonight, as the fiasco unfurls...

How'd She Even Have Time To Make Those Five Kids?

We could go from a President who admits that he doesn't read the newspapers to a VP who reads them ALL...

I ain't done today. We work overtime in Rubinville on debate days...

VP BS

I'm gonna post a couple things today, and will start with this ridiculous "joke" by Sarah Palin, and then her sarcastic/lie response when questioned about it by Katie Couric.

Why didn't Katie just look at her and say, "Liar, Liar, pants on fire..."

I'm Baaaack

Sorry bout vanishing for a couple days but I was at my parents house back in Long Island for Rosh Hashashanahahahahah. I am sitting down right now with a cup of coffee, a couple DVR'd episodes of The View, and my notepad. Full post shortly.

So is true true? Do absence make the heart grow fonder?