rubinville

We had some sort of biblical storm here last night, which left me staying inside watching Sunday night TV. Six Feet Under was brilliant as always, but I won't comment on it again until after the last episode next week. I also caught the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson, and here's what I learned...

(I apologize in advance for any graphicness to follow, but I'm just recapping what happened.)

Jimmy Kimmel, who hosted the show, is amazingly unfunnny, and will be cancelled any day now.

Greg Giraldo and Nick Dipalo are nothing without Colin Quinn, and barely anything with him.

Sara Silverman has no real talent and will continue to suck Jimmy Kimmel's cock for as long as he has a TV show.

Adam Corrola also sucked Jimmy Kimmel's dick to further his career. And it was no easy feat because if his giant teeth.

Lisa Lampanelli seems to be getting fatter and angrier by the minute.

Andy Dick doesn't care what kind of hole you have, as long as you have a hole.

Jeffrey Ross would have no career if it weren't for Comedy Central Roasts.

Tommy Lee has a giant penis and everyone else there wishes they were him.

Courtney Love is clearly drugged out of her mind and when she OD's all these people will be partly responsible.

Pamela Anderson has giant breats and everyone mentioned above has pleasured themselves to her many, many, many, many, many, many times.

The roast was really one joke told over and over, and after about 5 minutes it was almost hard to watch. Back in the day roasts were for and by real celebrities who were actual friends, not just a random collection of people all trying to further their career. I dare Comedy Central to replay some of Dean Martin's roasts instead of putting up these wanna-be fiasco's.

But Dave, poor, silly, idealistic Dave, wouldn't you do one of these roasts if Comedy Central called you? Yes, yes I would. I'd do it, because as these guys all prove, you have to do random meaningless stuff to get somewhere. And while I'm on the outside of it I can still comment on it, which is a lot more meaningful than the other way around.

Bea Arthur, who has gotten a lot of attention here on the Daily Dave recently, was probably the only truly funny thing about the roast. She simply read passages from Pamela's novel. The book was written not to be funny, but Bea reading it made it hilarious. Bea didn't bother commenting on any of the other people who made fun of her, but it was clear she wasn't going to give the nobody's any more attention than they could possibly squeeze out for themselves.

I wonder which nobody's will show up for my Comedy Central roast in 2025. After this posting, I'm pretty sure none of these guys will be in the business anymore, but Bea will be more than welcome.

Moving along, I've been watching Jerry Springer as I watch this and I have to say his ability to do this everyday is truly one of the most amazing things in the history of humanity.

Israel is pulling out of Gaza today. Why is it that Jews can't live in a place that is run by Arabs, but Arabs can live in Israel, France, Britian, America and every other country on the planet?

Oh yea, the Arabs are backwards, fundamentalist wacko's. I keep forgetting that.

That's it for today, I have to start preparing the guest list for my roast.