rubinville

The Sopranos has announced they they are going to add 8 extra episodes to next season's scheduled 12 shows. Of course, all this won't happen until March 2006, which will be about 2 years since the show was last on. I can't remember a thing that happened because last season was so long ago. Actually, everytime I try to remember what happend I end up replaying Joe Pesci's, "You think I'm funny? I amuse you?" scene, from Goodfellas.

John McCain is on Sportscenter right now talking about what the government should do about Rafael Palmiero's steroid use. Hot damn, I didn't know we won the war on terror. I can't believe it. I mean, we must've won the war on terror, or what would a Senator be doing wasting his time talking about steroid abuse? What a relief. The war on terror is finally over. Praise Allah.

Speaking of Sportscenter, Mario Lopez, better known as AC Slater, is new doing a new segment on Sportscenter called ESPN Hollywood. He is so smiley its ridiculous. Mario, we all know you want to kill people, from Zach Morris to Stuart Scott. Let it go bud, you don't have to smile the whole time. It's offensive.

A new poll says that Lucille Ball is America's favorite dead celebrity. I'm sure Lucy would be incredibly happy to know that we still love Lucy, dead or alive.

I wonder what Lucille Ball would be doing in television right now if she were alive. I assume she and Ricky would be doing some sort of wife-swap thing with Fred and Ethel.

They'd still all sleep in seperate beds, so I'm not sure it would have the gravity that today's shows possess.

The second installment of Deuce Bigelow comes out today. I will continue to sit by my phone waiting for an apology from someone in showbiz.

Watching the women of The View talk to Rob Schneider about Duece Bigelow as I write this. I'm trying to figure out if them pretending to respect him is worse than him trying to pretend that the movie is funny. Let's just call it an even split.

Denny's is now offering double-the-sausage for no extra-charge. That's great, let's fatten up people that go to Denny's even more. Why even have them come to the restaurant at all, can't we just deliver double-sausage to their trailers?

Many people are saying that President Bush should meet with this woman who is camping outside Bush's ranch because she wants to get the troops out of Iraq. In a twist to this story, my mom is now camping outside the ranch in an effort to get President Bush to convince me to stop being a comedian.

Okay, that's it for now, gotta go help Tiger Woods with his stroke, he's playing like crap.