I'm about to leave here to get on line at 6:30 for an 8:30 opening day premiere of Sex and the City.

Wish me Luck in the City...

I normally don't post this late at night, but a couple there are a couple stories today that are just unreal.

First, there is the Rachel Ray/Dunkin' Donuts fiasco. (See last post.) I did a couple jokes about it tonight on stage and a guy came up to me after and said, "Al Queda runs on Dunkin'" Damn, I wish I thought of that one.

Secondly, it is being reported that Clay Aiken is going to be a father. I'm gonna let all of you guys handle the obvious and necessary comments on this one.

And thirdly, Bill Cosby is opening up the vault and will be auctioning off some of his sweaters from The Cosby Show. Bidding starts at $5000 dollars and you can find out more by clicking here. For those curious, my birthday is June 26th.

Nighty night...

I'm sure most of you have heard about this already but Dunkin' Donuts has pulled an ad featuring Rachel Ray because of a scarf that she wears in it that has made some ring-wing wackos to imply that she is a terrorist sympathizer.

Where to begin with this one? I suppose with an obvious joke about if you ate her lasagna and then had a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee that you would have a major explosion in the toilet.

I think that's more than enough on this topic. Plus, we all know she isn't a terrorist. Martha Stewart, yes, but not Rachel Ray.

So, yes, we are working on an all new design for Rubinville that should be up in a few days. We're just finishing up some electrical work and letting the paint dry before we show it off.

Now excuse me, I'm off to get a cup of terror-related iced-coffee...

Major changes coming here at Rubinville in the next couple of days. Hold on tight...

Was a crazy day today here in Rubinville and for the first time in about seven years we actually shut-down altogether. At the end of the day we are back in action and ready for the big three-day weekend.

Prepare accordingly...

Better late than never. Blogger has been going a little nutty today.

So those very bright objects are Harrison Ford (second from right), Shia LaBooooooof and Karen whats-her-name from Indiana Jones. I'll let a few of you see it this weekend before I review.

Gotta run, full post tomorrow...

At the Indy premiere as I type this. I have to keep it short because the paparazzi are all over me. Several nerds are dressed as Indiana and one guy appears to be dressed as the cult leader who ripped the guys heart out in Temple of Doom. Oh wait, that is just the guy selling hot dogs on the corner.

Hmm, actually wait, maybe it is that guy and now he is a New York City hot dog vendor. Now that would truly be a strange twist of fate.

More undercover info as it comes...

I can't get pictures to post again today, I assume because of the rain, so once again we're doing this old-school. It's ashame today, too, because I wanted to post a picture of this $175 hamburger that is now being served at a restaurant on Wall Street here in NYC. The joke is less funny without the picture, but honestly, I don't think it looks like it's worth a dime over $150.

Hmm, in retrospect I'm not sure if the picture would've even helped the joke at all.

Leave it to those rich Wall Street bastards to pony-up $175 for a burger. When you're stealing money from people aren't you supposed to be just a little discreet about it? Didn't any of these people see Goodfellas?

I was just confirmed for a free advance screening of Indiana Jones tomorrow. Ah, the perks of stardom. Apparently, Harrison Ford himself will be there, and if you dress up like Indiana, you get to take a picture with him. Indiana must've worn jeans and a Gap hoodie at some point, right?

Well, just in case I'll bring something from Banana Republic circa 1996, it was all Indy-Style back then if I remember correctly.

Can someone come over and take Emma for a walk? I've got my hair gelled just right at the moment and this rain is just gonna muck it up...

British scientists have been given the go-ahead to mix human and animal embryos. While I'll leave the ethical and moral debate up to others, I'll argue that this is a horrible decision if for no other reason than because it made me think of Marlon Brando in The Island of Dr. Moreau.

Shockingly gross, right?

I literally can't think of anything else to write about. Sorry...

"Day After Tooth Pulling"

First off, you will all be happy to know that Emma came out of her surgery doing great, albeit a little groggy. She's back to her normal self today and we both are looking forward to a vigorous day of butt-sniffing.

The hot story here in NYC is that WNBC news anchor, Sue Simmons, who has been doing the new here for 20-something years, cursed on air a couple days ago. As a quasi-grownup, I really don't care about this, except there is something about the way she says "fuck" that is particularly good. Check it out...

Just dropped Emma off at the vet for her tooth extraction. I had snapped a pic of her relaxing right before we left but for some reason it won't post, so we are doing this old-school, otherwise known as picless.

It was a little weird dropping her off there and then knowing I'm not gonna see her for a few hours but I guess this is what being a pet owner/uncle is all about.*

*I consider myself more of an uncle to her than father, cuz if I was her father it would imply that I had sex with a female dog, which obviously I haven't. By saying I'm her uncle it implies that my sister had sex with a male dog, and frankly, I'm much more comfortable with that idea.

John Edwards finally endorsed Obama yesterday after months of waiting on the sidelines. I don't really think that endorsements mean that much but that guy really does have great hair. If I had hair like that I'd spend 500 bucks per cut, too.

Ok, this is when I'd normally walk Emma, but since she's gone for a few hours I guess I'll just put the leash around my neck and walk myself...

Scariest picture, ever.

Hillary is giving her acceptance speech in West Virginia as I write this. She seems particularly robotic for someone who just won by a big margin. I guess 20 million dollars campaign debt and no foreseeable way of winning have a way of bringing out the robot in people.

Or, maybe she is an actual robot. Either one.

On a less pleasant note than robotic candidates, I took Emma to the vet today and she is needs to have a tooth removed. I should probably have a professional take care of that, right?

Hmm, wait a sec, Hillary just said that she would give every American healthcare. I can only assume that includes dogs. It might just be time to rethink my vote...

Just when you thought I couldn't find anything else to write about Star Wars I came across this article on FoxsNews.com. Truly incredible...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,355268,00.html

Who would think that there are 390,000 self-proclaimed Jedi in England? We could use some of them in America to tackle the religious right.

Hillary is projected to win West Virginia by a landslide today. Considering the earthquake in China, the cyclone in Myanmar and the wildfires in Florida, I really don't think anyone should be hoping for a landslide these days. Be careful what you wish for, Hillary.

Anyone else 50-50 on Indiana Jones? Maybe if they called The Speilberg-Ford Cashcow I'd be more excited...

In case you haven't seen it already, this clip proves that Bill O'Rielly wasn't always the nice, pleasant guy we all know today. I wonder if my first TV meltdown will be anything like this...

Warning: Crazed, Fan-Boy Alert!!!

The official poster for Star Wars: The Clone Wars has been released. For those of you who don't know about it (hard to believe), the movie takes between Episodes II and III and will more deeply explore the war that ultimately crushed the Old Republic. It is a digitally animated movie that will lead into a series on Cartoon Network. Let's just hope that doesn't affect their Tom and Jerry reruns.*

*I don't know if they actually run T&J, but if not just insert your cartoon of choice.

Lots of cartoon references here lately, I guess that is because real-life is so overrated.

Speaking of real-life, lemme get out there. More later...

I just read that Hillary has secretly lent her campaign 6.4 million dollars in recent weeks. You know you've gotta have Scrooge McDuck type money when you can lend yourself 6.4 million. The real question is whether the Clinton's keep their money in a bank or in a giant room where they can swim in it, just like McDuck himself.

Speaking of Scrooge McDuck, it should be noted that Ducktales is one of the most underrated cartoons ever. The episode where the kids trick Scrooge into thinking it is allowance day and thus cause financial markets all over the world to go nuts is simply genius.

Gummy Bears was pretty good, too...

First off, I want to thank those of who who commented/e-mailed me about the coffee filter. Even my mom e-mailed me about it, which I believe is her first Rubinville related correspondance. For the record, I am using a gold tone filter, like the one pictured above. Clearly, several of you think that I'm not so bright and thus would use a regular paper filter more than once, but I do appreciate your concern nonetheless. I should also note that it was a particular honor to get a comment from Juan Valdez's mothers neighbor.

The day got kinda busy today and I was unable to make it to Central Park. Such is the life of an G-List star.

Headed to see Iron Man now. I'm guessing he wins the big fight at the end. Anyone wanna take a bet on that?

The big North Carolina and Indiana primaries are today. It's a little know fact that there are actually more pigs than people in North Carolina. Pigs generally vote Republican, so I don't think that will effect the outcome of the primaries today. Unfortunately, there is little chance that anyone will be saying "That's all folks", about the Democratic nomination process by the end of today.

This thing, much like the movie "AI" just won't end.

(That was the first ever "AI" reference anywhere in roughly four years.)

On an unrelated note, does anyone know how many times you can use a coffee filter before replacing it? I think I'm pushing the limits on this thing.

It's a gorgeous day out there, full post from Central Park this afternoon...

Barbara Walters is set to announce that she had an affair with Edward W. Brooke, a married Senator from Massachusetts in the 1970's. That makes them the second hottest black-Jewish couple of the 1970's, right behind Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder.

(Yes, Barbara is Jewish, though clearly the WASPiest Jew in the history of the world.)

So, I wanted to thank you guys for your nice comments about my upcoming projects and I also just wanted to clarify something: The Dave Rubin Project will be air on TV only, though I'm sure in time there we'll YouTube some of it. Topical, my new talk show, will be a podcast just like B&D, so even if you don't get here!, you will still get Dave!

Oh, and also, not to worry, I will always make time for Rubinville. I don't wanna get voted off my own website.

Time Warner Cable just added CNN to their HD package here in NYC. Lou Dobbs in HD seems like a torture device right out of Saw, doesn't it?

I just read that they are making a prequel to The Lord of the Rings. As you all know, I like my fantasy stories in a galaxy far, far away, and thus will not go see this movie. In a related story, I have committed to seeing Sex and the City at midnight on May 30th. There are Jedi in that, right?

Iron Man comes out today. Hmm, that reminds me of a porn I once saw...

Deep breath people, here we go...

Okay, so first off I should tell you that Ben and Dave is no more, though it will continue to air on here! for another month or so. Things happen in this biz, and that's that.

My big announcement is that I will be doing a sitcom for here! entitled The Dave Rubin Project. I can't get too deep into the specifics at the moment but it will be a twelve episode season that we will begin shooting in a matter of weeks. I've brought in some of my favorite people to write it, and we're also casting some of my old comic buddies.

On top of that, I will be doing a new podcast called Topical, where I'll be bringing on a couple guests per week to discuss current events and general life stuff.

And finally, Hot Gay Comics will be becoming a TV show and I'll be doing a half-hour stand-up special to launch the series.

I think that's enough for now, agreed?

Thanks for sticking with me this far, and though I've said this before, this really is just the beginning...