rubinville

Footballer Randy Moss has admitted to smoking marijuana. I guess that's the real difference between football players and baseballs players. Baseball players use drugs to get bigger, faster and stronger, while football players use drugs to get slower, fatter and more paranoid.

No sure why it would surprise anyone that Randy Moss smokes weed, I mean have you ever seen his hair when his cornrows aren't in? You could get high while smoking a locket of it.

So this is the last weekend of Comedy Company, unless we decide to come back after the construction, which is 50/50 at best. I'm excited as well as nervous about the future because I've only done comedy one way, on my own terms, and now I'm about to embark on a new adventure for the first time in 7 years. Once I get my settled in, I'll be assembling a new team to help me on my quest. I'll need a wizard, a dwarf, a droid, a cyclops and an accountant. E-mail resumes if interested.

It's pouring out here again. I've started to collect two of every animal but I can only find a single male ardvark. He was at the bar downstairs, alone, drinking away his sorrows.

I'd like to be the Weekend Update guy for Saturday Night Live. How do you go about doing that? I don't want to be in any sketches, just let me do my thing and get out.

A company in Japan is working on a device that will let you smell whatever you are watching on TV. Let's just hope that Bill O'Rielly is off the air by the time that comes to fruition.

I'm not sure what that meant either.

CBS news, which is third in the ratings just allowed five interns to present new ideas to revamp their new broadcasts. That's pretty slick, having unpaid kids fix your whole news division because the paid people are so uninspired. Of course, Linda Mason, CBS News VP for Standards and Special Projects was able to spin it slightly differently...

"This project was for their benefit, not for our benefit."

Righto. Now let's see how many of those kids they hire after taking their ideas, which I bet were pretty good.

Okay I gotta get going, al-Queda fired three rockets at a US Navy ship near Jordan this morning, and the Pentagon just called me to go over there and see what's up.