Friday, September 26, 2008

A Hole Lotta BS

So, George, John, Barack, and a few other people who claim to be fighting for us have been sitting behind closed doors in DC trying to solve this financial crisis thingy. George said he had a plan (but nobody listened), John said he was suspending his campaign and postponing the debate (which he backtracked on), and Barack said he needed time to think (which he loves to do).

Since then, various other polticians like Harry "I'm half napping" Reid, Chris "Look at my white hair" Dodd, and Barney "My speech impediment has nothing to do with my sexuality" Frank, have all been posturing for the TV cameras. No deal has been made, my personal bank Washington Mutual collapsed today, and for a bunch of people who all talk about bi-partisanship, they all seem pretty partisan.

This has all led me to believe that Washington is nothing more than a giant black hole. You see, scientists have long hypothesized that there are black holes in outer space. Basically, they are places where matter sort of collapses on itself and matter simply dissapears. Some scientists believe that the matter reappears in another time and space, but of course this can't be proved. However, if that is true, let's just hope these people all end up in Newark, New Jersey, at about 3 in the morning. Somehow, I think they'll become bi-partisan pretty quickly out there.

Alright, that's all. I'll be doing stand-up tonight during the debate, but I will DVR it and comment over the weekend. That's right, these motherfuckers have me blogging on the weekend.

Fuck you, you black hole fuckers...

(Rare cursing today, I know, but I'm just saying what everyone at CNN is thinking.)

No comments: