Thursday, January 03, 2008


I'm watching CNN's coverage of the Iowa Caucuses as I write this. First off, lemme say that if you stare at Wolf Blitzer's beard for more than three consecutive minutes that you will start tripping. Secondly, I am quite pleased with the results as of this moment (9:28 pm, eastern time). CNN has just announced that Barack Obama has won on the Democratic side, and Mike Huckabeee has won of the Republican side. I like Obama, and I think this country desperately needs some change, which is what he is all about. As for Huckabee, he won't go much further after this so big damn woop, and as a sidebar, never trust anyone that has lost as much weight as he has.

Mitt Romney did poorly despite spending a ton of money and Ron Paul did pretty decently despite not spending a lot. Poor Joe Biden, who I like, didn't do well, though his 1% was a fully percent better than Chris Dodd's 0%. My main man Rudy got only 4%, but we'll see what happens on Super Tuesday next month. (Whoa, I just had one of those moments when you're like, Do I really care about this stuff???)

As I've been writing this I've been flicking between channels and I now can soundly say that in terms of annoying graphics Fox News has the worst, CNN the second worst, and MSNBC the third worst. I guess that would make MSNBC the winner, but all precincts aren't reporting yet and I don't announce winners until they all do.

Hillary is speaking now though it's not clear yet if she came in 2nd or 3rd. What is clear, however, is that Bill won't be getting a blowjob tonight.

That's it for biting political commentary. As all the candidates say, "God bless you, and God bless America!"

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