As I'm sure you've heard there is a hostage situation going on at Hillary's campaign headquarters in New Hampshire. I'm pretty sure this is the most high-level hostage situation since the Count Dooku helped kidnap Chancellor Palpatine. Of course, as we all know it didn't pan out too well for Dooku...

I didn't watch the CNN/YouTube debate last night, but I have been catching up with some of the clips. It's interesting that Ron Paul, who everyone makes seem like a nut, is probably the least nutty of all of them. I'm in for the revolution, now where do I get a horse? Seems like any good revolution involves a horse..

If you haven't seen this new ad from Mike Huckabee, take a look...



Considering Arnold Schwarzeneeger is actually the governor of California, I suppose that the endorsement of another 80's action star is pretty good. More importantly, it's just nice to see a candidate with a sense of humor, even though I think we all agree that Dolph Lundgren would've been a better choice than Chuck.

In less humorous news, George is meeting today with Israeli and Palestinian leaders to discuss peace. I don't see any reason that this won't end well.

(Please not the double-negative in the sentence above.)

Ok, that's it for now. I'm not going to not go to the gym.

(Double negative duly noted.)

I saw Beowulf in digital 3D on Saturday night. It confirmed what I've long said which is that 2D is for suckers.

That's all for now. The gloominess outside is clearly affecting my creativity levels...

Check out this old, crazy woman, calling Hillary "the bitch" while asking John McCain a question the other day. These few seconds really explain why you have to be completely insane to run for public office these days...

McCain's reaction is the best part, as he first looks like he is gonna explode, then rubs his face to compose himself, and then in complete seriousness says, "But that's an excellent question."

Only eleven and a half more months of this stuff to go...

I don't even know what to say about this new ad from little-know Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo. Just get a bottle of gin and check it out for yourself...

(Official Rubinville Memo: As of this post, all embedded videos will be centered just like all pictures are centered. The complaint department is tired of the constant barrage of e-mails.)

So Hillary's campaign has been caught planting questions to audience members at her town-hall meetings in Iowa. It seems to me that people should be more annoyed about this but I suppose it just is indicative of the current political/social/ethical climate in the country. I mean George is well known to pack crowds only with his supporters, and FEMA actually faked a news conference during the California fires. I guess what she did is no worse, but it'd be nice if we could expect a little more from our leaders. You know, like as maybe just as much as we expect from Pakistani leaders.

(Insert theme song to Fantasy Island.)

As long as I'm doing politics today, I also found it interesting how Republican candidate Ron Paul was able to raise over 4 million bucks in one day last week and it barely got noticed by the media. Instead they focused on how accomplished the feat on November 5th, which was the day that Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the British House of Parliament in 1605. By focusing on that event instead of what he accomplished in fund-raising, the media again once skirted the issue of a small time politician doing something incredible, and instead simply got more people to go out to rent V for Vendetta.

Most of you know that I do love that movie, however, and have often thought about blowing up the House of Parliament here in America. Unfortunately, we don't have one, so I'll just have to wait till they build one.

Actually come to think of it, instead of waiting that long, if they ever do decide to build one maybe I'll just get in good with one of the sub-contractors and have him do a shoddy job. Perhaps I'll have him install a leaky toilet or use sub-standard grouting for the tiles in the lobby.

(It should be noted that I'm writing at Starbucks today, which is clearly making me go a little bonkers, not only in the text of what I am writing but also the fact that I have used parenthesis on three separate occasions.)

Ok, that's all for now, I think the man sitting next to me is reading what I'm writing. Hey, you bastard, stop reading this! Stop, stop, I say!*

*I don't know why this whole thing is in a different font than usual, maybe I should ask this prick next to me...

I keep seeing McDonald's commercials for Jerry Seinfeld's new Bee Movie. While movie cross-promotion is nothing new, I find this one particularly interesting. See, it turns out that while Jerry is lending his Bee's to sell french-fries, his wife Jessica is doing the talk-show circuit promoting her new book to get kids to eat healthy foods.

Oh, the iron-bee...I mean irony...

Ben and I will be doing some shameless promotion on The Joey Reynolds Show tonight at midnight on WOR Radio. You can listen in at 710 on your AM dial in NY, or you can hear it online at WOR710.com.

Ill be expecting lots of listeners tonight, it's not like you got anything better to do at midnight on a Monday...

The online teaser for The Ben and Dave Show just went live, take a look...

I came across a posting on Craigslist for an anonymous TV show in NYC looking for a guy and a dog. (No, it wasn't in the personals section, thank you very much.) They wanted a picture of said guy and dog, so I snapped this one of Emma and I.

Now we just sit back and wait for fame...

Dennis Kucinich, who admitted to seeing a UFO in the most recent Democratic debate, has offered a resolution to impeach Vice-President Cheney.

I guess it's not just lifeforms on this planet that don't like Cheney...

Some shit is going down in Pakistan and once again the US is getting involved. I have three words of advice for George when dealing with any country in this part of the world..."cut and run."

Of course, George won't listen to my advice, cuz he thinks that we gotta spread democracy all over the place. Unfortunately, generally guys who take power in a military coup (like Pervez Musharaaf, pictured above), aren't huge fans of freedom and democracy and all that good stuff. That sure won't stop good, old crazy George from trying, though.

For those of you who have been over to the Drudge Report today, you might have noticed that the front headline says, "Rubin to the Rescue." Strangely, the article is about some guy named Robert E. Rubin, and not yours truly. I guess that girl that I gave the Heimlich maneuver to yesterday never called it in.

Hollywood writers are on strike as of this morning. And the world breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Actually, I think Rubinville's cache doubles each day that you can't watch such wonderful shows as "Gossip Girl" and "Mind of Mencia."

Seriously though, I know a zillion people who would love to write for a legit show, so I think that these people should just shut up and get back to work.

Now excuse me, I have to take my morning nap...

Imus is back and as ugly as ever. God help us all...