Something possessed me, once again, to watch the Democratic Presidential Debate last night on MSNBC. They all spouted their usual bullshit and didn't give any real answers, but a couple interesting things did materialize. Here we go, in no particular order...

1. Joe Biden, who knows he can't win, has decided to be the funny guy, and I gotta admit, he is pretty funny. (Not just cuz of the bad hair plugs.)

2. Chris Dodd pretty much tells the truth and has a solid record, but nobody is listening.

3. Dennis Kucinich has seen a UFO. Good for him, since nobody on this planet plans on voting for him.

4. John Edwards is trying to figure out a way to crack Hillary which makes him come off as a whiner.

5. Barack Obama keeps trying to take the high road, but he better get down and dirty if he wants to make this thing work.

6. Hillary is evil, I can't quite explain it, but I can just feel it.

The most interesting thing, however, was that Mike Gravel, who has been at all the other debates, was banned from this one my NBC. Interesting, isn't it, that the guy who attacks corporate America more than anyone, including GE - the parent company of NBC - would be banned from an NBC-sponsored debate?

And, of course, by interesting I mean profoundly disturbing...

Yours truly doing a little of the funny last night. Pretty impressive, taking the microphone out of the stand, isn't it?

It's all about being a professional up there...

It's still hard to believe that this is the man in charge of California. While I was watching him speak about the wildfires yesterday I couldn't help but think that someone else is actually the governor but to make us feel better they send out Arnold. Alas, after doing some research, I have re-confirmed that he is, in fact, the governor.

Speaking of the fire, there have been several reports that Suzanne Somers was at risk of losing her home once again her house burned down in the fire of 2003. While the prospects of losing your home twice is pretty bad, I think we should all be more concerned about the whereabouts of Joyce DeWitt...

This is absolutely in the top ten funniest things I've ever seen...

Believe it or not, this picture was not made in Photoshop.

The California fires continue, as does the ridiculous coverage of which celebrities homes are in danger. MSNBC actually just put up a map of where several celebrities reside including Mel Gibson, Jane Seymore, Pamela Anderson, Olivia Newton John. Frankly, I think the only one happy about this whole thing is Olivia, who has had her named mentioned more today than anytime in the last 25 years.

I'll keep you abreast (you knew there was a Pam Anderson breast-joke coming) of the situation as it arises...

(By the way, note those two wierdos behind Pam in that picture.)

These fires in California are horrific, but why does CNN keep reminding me that even celebrities are being evacuated? No joke, Anderson Cooper just said that Olivia Newton-John and James Cameron have both had to leave there homes.

That's right. No joke.

If you didn't catch Bill Maher's show on HBO on Friday, you really missed some exciting live television...



It's nice to see that screaming morons aren't only confining themselves to comedy clubs anymore...

I was on Sirius Radio OutQ in the morning today to promote my new show, "The Ben and Dave Show", for the Here! Network. Seems like I should've promoted that on Rubinville before the show, but I guess you live and learn.

The point is that this new show is gonna be HUGE, like capital letters huge. More info shortly...

For reasons that I can't explain, I found myself watching GWB's press conference at the White House yesterday. As always he talked about freedom, democracy and all that stuff that he likes to think has something to do with why we are nation building in the Middle-East. While I've heard it all before, I did have a revelation during this particular speech. I can no longer refer to GWB as "President Bush." His seeming lack of understanding of international politics, coupled with his disdain of the free press and his evil little grin are just too much. So, for now on, I will only refer to him as George. Not George W., not George Bush, just George. Cuz really that's all he is. Just some guy named George that somehow ended up in as the President.

Moving on from a guy named George to a guy who wants his job, Sam Brownback has officially thrown in the towel of his presidential campaign. I'd write more about him, but it'd be ashame if the guy had more written about him after he quit.

Been playing basketball on Wednesday nights at a gym down by Union Square. Dare I say I'm playing the best of my life. I've got this new spin-move, ala Vince Carter 2004. Conversely, I have the dunking skills of Vince Carter 2033.

Just read that George is warning of World War III. This guy is just kooky...

This kind of compassion is rarely seen on TV, so I thought it was worth a post...

George Lukas, the only person pictured above who has never won an Oscar, has officially announced a new Star Wars TV series. The show will be about the expanded Star Wars universe, and there will be nobody named Luke, Anakin or Yoda in it. I'm sure it's going to be amazing stuff and will further push the technological limits of what filmmakers can do. Maybe I can make a guest-cameo as the first Jedi/comedian.

Actually, I think I'd rather be a Sith Lord. Darth Comicus has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Now back to news in our universe. I get a little sick in the stomach anytime I see Bill and Hillary hugging. It's not totally nauseating like when Al Gore kissed Tipper, but it's still pretty bad. Actually, the whole thing is kinda sad, you know poor Bill just wants a BJ, and instead the only human contact he gets is hugging a robot in front of big crowds.

Did I need to capitalize "BJ" right there? I'm not sure, but I guess that's just how strongly I feel about the issue.

I'm thinking a second post later today. Let the guessing game begin...

Rudy will even have us prepared for an alien attack...



Come 'n get us, Klingon's....

If you've ever seen anyone look cooler while drinking coffee, I'd like to hear about it...

I caught just enough of the Republican debate last night to be reminded that these people are all freakin' lunatics. Ironically, the one guy who I don't think is a lunatic, Ron Paul, is framed as a lunatic by everyone else, including the media. Yea, it's a fine political system we got here.

Rudy and George Hamilton, err, I mean Mitt Romney, got into a spat over who lowered more taxes when they were in office. They both spouted out a bunch of numbers which means that one of them or both of them is lying. While we'll probably never know the truth, my sources tell me that John McCain was spotted asking Romney which brand he uses for that oh-so healthy glow. Romney refused to answer directly, but did say that he lowered the price of Loreal Sunless Tanning lotion three more times than Rudy did while in office.

As I mentioned yesterday, I saw Joy Behar at the Zipper Theatre last night. No surprise, she was great - riffing on politics, her family and celebrity culture. She is herself, she tells the truth, and, of course, is funny - the three main things that any comic should aspire to do. While I knew that before, watching someone really own it, especially when you're sitting in the front row, can make it all the more obvious.

Now excuse me, I got a lot of work to do...

I'm going to see Joy Behar tonight at the Zipper Theatre in midtown. I'll be sure to ask her why she is holding Robin Williams' package in the picture above.

Full report tomorrow...

Everyone is making a big-woop, pun-intended, about Whoopi Goldberg's comment to Nancy Pelosi on The View today, effectively saying she'd like to have sex not only with Nancy's husband, but with Nancy herself.

I like Whoopi despite that rather grotesque image, but her comment did make me ponder something. What if the the sexes had been reversed in that situation? Like if David Letterman had Dick Cheney on the show and said that he'd not only like to bang Lynne but also Dick, too. Somehow that would seem far worse and I don't think it's simply because of the horrible image of a naked, pasty-white, Dick Cheney.

Or maybe it is...

ABC's new Caveman show debuts tonight, and I'd be willing to bet that it won't be nearly as good as any of the commercials, particularly this one...



Some things are just better done in 30 seconds.

(Insert sex joke here.)

Just read that the jury found that Isiah Thomas sexually harassed a former New York Knicks executive. How many more people in sports have to harass women/kill dogs/murder people/do drugs, etc., before ESPN launches a 24-hour legal channel?

Actually, they could just change ESPN2 to that, it's just spelling-bee's all day, anyway...

Joy Behar was on Larry King on Friday night. So, I was watching Larry King at 10 pm on a Friday night, what's it to ya???



I actually have a hilarious story about meeting Joy on the street last year, but I'm gonna wait til I'm on the show to reveal it. Yea, that's right, I'll be replacing Elisabeth Hasselbeck when she goes on maternity leave.

Watch TMZ.com pick up that little juicy bit of info and run with it...