Exxon just posted an 8 BILLION dollar THREE-MONTH profit. Allow me to write out 8 BILLION as to show you the ridiculousness of the number...
Eight, Zero Zero Zero, Zero Zero Zero, Zero Zero Zero.
I'm sure every paper in the country will write editorials about this story, but let me be the first to say it's time to revolt. I'm talking about a full-scale, burning shit in the street, pretending we were offended by a Mohammed cartoon, balls-out revolt. Oil execs, like that Jabba the Hutt-look-alike that I posted a pic of last week, are literally ruining this country and nobody is stopping them. Their constant greed and lack of any moral compass must be punished.
We need a hero...
By day, Dave was a mild-mannered comedian.
By night, he was America's only Superhero devoted to eliminating evil oil-execs one at a time.
He was known as Oilio.
Okay, I need a better name, but I'm seriously considering this. Sidekick applications now being accepted...
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