Oh, Barry, Barry, Barry, did you really think you were going to get away with it?
A new book has come out with all kinds of accusations and evidence claiming that Barry Bonds has been using steroids for years. I've always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, despite his exponentially growing head, but now there's just no way I'm going to be able to vote for him to get into the Hall of Fame.
Luckily for him baseball writers vote for the Hall of Fame, and not comedians, so he might still have a chance.
I sense some sort of reality show coming out of all of this. Maybe they'll put Bonds, along with Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire and Rafael Palmiero on an island somewhere and see who loses the most body mass while not taking the juice.
Yes, I could've made a shrinking penis joke there, but I chose not to. Trust me, it wasn't easy.
Speaking of shrinking, it was nice to see Lilly Tomlin on the Oscar's the other night. I've liked her since I was a kid when I saw her in "The Incredible Shrinking Woman." Charles Grodin was in that too, another person I've always liked. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I was the only person who watched his short-lived talk show besides the producer who was always laughing in the background.
Anyone else ever get so short on money that you check the "Adult" want ads in Craigslist? I'm not sure what anyone would pay me for, but it seems that foot worship is very in these days.
Damn my basketball playing calloused feet. I've always known my mad hoops skills would come back to haunt me one day. Now you'll have to exuse me, I'm gonna go soak my feet in nice a Epsom Salt bath...
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