rubinville

Just watched President Bush's hour-long speech today while running on the elliptical machine. Maybe it was the running fast while going nowhere but I'm starting to like the guy again.

The best part of the speech was when he said there have been 30,000 Iraqi's killed, "more or less." What's the more or less spectrum on 30,000? I'm thinking it's about 5,000 less to 50,000 more.

Saw a commercial for "Cheaper by the Dozen 2" a few minutes ago. If the masses so love these movies with lots of kids driving two career-oriented parents crazy, why stop with twelve kids? Let's get it to twenty. Or forty. Actually, let's bump it up to a hundred and have the whole movie be the woman constantly spitting kids out of her tired vagina.

I'm sorry for the graphicness there, but I thought of a couple different endings and that was the one that seemed to fit best. Plus, Larry David and Jeff Green had a long conversation about a large vagina a couple weeks ago on Curb, so obviously I couldn't use that.

Anyone else not enjoying Marv Albert as the play-by-play guy for the Nets on the YES Network? And no, I'm not gonna make this a woman-biting-while-in-a-dress-joke here. He just sounds tired and bored. Hang in there Ian Eagle, your day is coming.

I just realized that I inherently made a Marv Albert woman-biting-while-in-a-dress-joke there. And to top it off I'm probably the only person who watches Net games. A waste at so many levels.

Got a new laptop battery sent to me by HP after just a few minutes on the phone telling them I didn't think that my computer should smell like popcorn after it's been on for over 15 minutes. Mad props to HP for quick, reliable and friendly service.

I was listening to Howard Stern the other morning and I'm actually considering getting Sirius Radio once he makes the switch. There's a rumor floating around that he's gonna try to have a million people have an orgasm all at the same time. Seeing as I have enough problems with anyone else involved in the process whatsoever, it seems like it'll be worth 10 bucks a month.

Been reading some interesting stuff about Richard Pryor over the last few days and it's got me on this kick thinking about some other groundbreaking comedians like Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks and Andy Kaufman. I genuinely wonder if any of them could have any success the way that comedy clubs are set up today. I think I know the answer, but I don't want to write it out because I'm afraid of what it'll mean for my future.

(I'd explain more about the club system but I don't want to start riots. That's not what The Daily Dave is about...Or is it?)

Whenever I go to the bank to make a deposit I always say to the teller, "Feel free to add a couple zero's to that." It never fails to get huge laughs, go ahead and try it for yourself.

Okay, I think that's it for now. I've enjoyed this today, but I must go live a life outside of my apartment. I'm thinking I'll go to the store downstairs to get a Mountain Dew and then come right back up here but maybe I'll be more adventurous when I get outside...