As I mentioned here the other day, Regis is going to host a new version of "This is Your Life." Then today, the original host of the series, Ralph Edwards dropped dead. Coincidence? I think not.
Regis knew he could never get out of Ralph Edwards' shadow and hatched this plot many years ago. He waited until Ralph was 92 so that it would look like he died of old age. My source, you ask? The one and only Bob Woodward. He's got his finger in everything.
I was waiting to do the same to Regis so that I could take over one of his 15 shows, but it turns out that he's already 103 years old and I missed my chance 11 years ago. He's againg incredible well, how was I supposed to know he was that old?
Michael Jackson got caught walking into a woman's restroom in Bahrain earlier this week. He claimed that it was a simple mistake because he doesn't speak Arabic. It turns out that he thought the sign said, "Horrifically Misfigured Former Pop Stars Who Like to Lick Children's Heads."
Understandable mistake.
Lisa Loeb will be looking for a boyfriend in her new reality series on the E! Channel. I gotta shine my thick-rimmed glasses!
Something about Google is starting to seem evil to me in a Microsoft kinda way, anyone agree?
Gotta run, I just remembered that I don't even have thick-rimmed glasses in the first place. Without them I have no chance to get with Lisa, nor to get on VH1.
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