rubinville

Oh, I beg to differ with that slogan.

Yup, that's right, yours truly, in a moment of complete and utter weakness, ate McDonald's last night. I honestly don't know why I did it.

They say the definition of a crazy person who does something that they know will hurt them, but then does it anyway.

Last night, I was one crazy mother-fucker.

I had a large #1, the Big Mac Meal. I took it to go because I refuse to eat in a Mcdonald's in NYC because they are really just homeless shelters without the cots.

I ate the "meal" as I watched The Simpsons. The first few bites were fine but then slowly the inevitable happened. By the time Family Guy was on, I was on laying on my side, groaning in pain.

As I twisted and turned to find a comfortable position, I found myself doing a current events homework assignment from high school. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

There were no answers, only more questions.

Around 9 pm I felt like a pregnant woman in the third-trimester.

At 9:15 I temporarily lost my vision.

By 9:30 I had given birth, to a beautiful dump, a healthy 8 pounds, 3 ounces.

At 9:45 I cried.

As 10 pm came, I made myself a promise...

NEVER again. NEVER.

Well, maybe just for a McFish. The tarter sauce is so tangy and delicious.