It's a bit of a long clip, but I think Ron Paul's reaction to the assassination of Benazir Bhutto is the most sane, pro-American insight that I've heard anyone say. Nothing particularly funny about the interview, except the fact that Paul really should be a front runner in the GOP race and instead is in single digits, mostly because of lack of media coverage.*

Oh wait, that's not funny, that's upsetting. Boy, taking a few days off really can play tricks on the mind.

*I do note that Paul was on CNN, but considering they make it breaking news everytime Hillary wipes her ass, it isn't quite the same thing.

Why is it news when a patron is killed by a tiger at a zoo? Shouldn't it only be news when a patron kills a tiger?

Yea, I'm back, and 10 percent more philosophical. More tomorrow...

I'm in Florida, where the Sun isn't quite as hot as this picture would imply, but it certainly is a lot toastier than NYC. After this, I am heading to Dallas and then back to the East Coast. I'll try to check in before I return on the 26th.

Now don't go finding some new favorite comedian site, ya hear?

The George Mitchell steroids report is due out in a few hours. My well-placed sources are telling me that one of the big names on the list will be money-grubbing, fireball throwing pitcher, Roger Clemens. I'll wait to write more until i read the report, but in the meantime it's pretty funny to think that they are about to release a list of 80 professional athletes with small testicleeeeees...

I think I'm gonna pick up one of these for when I do stand-up...



Note the way the guy pronounces "tesitcles" at the end. Testicleeeeese.

So the Oprah/Obama tour began this weekend at three major campaign events. Let me be the first (I think) to coin this the season of Oprama.

It kidna makes you think that all candidates should have a talk-show host to campaign with. Let me randomly pair a few...

John Edwards/Dr. Phil

Rudy Guiliani/Jerry Springer

Hillary Clinton/Arsenio Hall

Mitt Romney/Montel Williams

Stay tuned, tomorrow I'll link candidates with porn stars...

Barbara Walters says she is tired of celebrity interviews. I guess that means she will be calling me any day now.

Hello Self-Depracating Friday!

(Maybe more later, crazy day today...)

I'd like to the the THREE of you who responded to my question about Senator Larry Craig. Rubinville got 1,584 hits yesterday and three of you said that you didn't have sex with him, which leads me to believe that the other 1,581 of you did. I knew the guy was getting around, but I certainly didn't expect such high numbers. Crazy stuff, I know.

(Actually, I'd like to really thank the three of you who did respond. I suppose that the other people very busy, and my 780 something posts aren't quite enough free entertainment to warrant even a one word response just once. You guys are the best.)

In other shady politician news, Mitt Romney sent a letter to his landscapers telling them he won't use them anymore because they have illegal immigrants on (or off) their payroll. He also is giving a big speech this week about his Mormon faith. I wrote a rather hilarious joke about not being able to keep track of his illegal workers much less all his wives, but I don't know if all of you deserve it. Maybe I'll e-mail it directly to my three dedicated comment people.

Gotta go, Jennifer Love Hewitt is about to make a major announcement about the size of her ass...

I wanna try a little test today. Although I haven't posted that frequently (or lengthly) over the past two weeks, Rubinville continues to get a healthy amount of hits, actually 3,012 yesterday. Unrelated to that, I read today that five new men have come out and said that they have had sex with Idaho Senator Larry Craig. That got me thinking that I should do a poll to ask you, the reader, to post a comment today if you HAVE NOT had sex with Larry Craig. I am posting this on Monday evening, and will let it sit for all of Tuesday. Then, on Wednesday I will subtract the number of comments from the overall number of hits. Thusly, we will see how many of Rubinville visitors are having sex with this guy.

If that isn't logic, I don't know what is...