In case you fear for the future of America, well, this ain't gonna help...

George lost another old Texas buddy today as Alberto Gonzalez has just stepped down. Fortunately for GWB, Alberto clearly won't recall anything that happened during the last few years, so there won't be a tell-all book. Now, check this out and prepare to cringe in horror...

This is Emma, my dog, who I adopted about a year and a half ago. Emma was rescued from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina and despite being so sick that she couldn't stand, she was able to keep all of her puppies safe until they were found. I wrote about her story way back when I first got her, but I felt it was worthy again since this whole Michael Vick dog-fighting case. As you can see by her face, Emma is part pit-bull, and thus could've been used in one of those fights, or just has fodder for a more aggressive animal to practice on.

I'm not sure what I think is fair punishment for Vick - a man who not only bank-rolled a major dogfighting operation, but also apparently took part in killing dogs - but hopefully someone will see this picture and perhaps punch themselves in the face instead of going to a dogfight if they really feel the need to get out some extra aggression...

I had a dream last night that Rudy Giuliani was at my parents house and I served him a cup of hot tea. As you know, I like the guy, but when candidates are creeping into your dreams and having you wait on them, it's bit much...

I don't find Mr. Bean funny, but I'm willing to accept that other people do, and maybe I'm just missing the boat.

Blue Collar Comedy, however, sucks.

Check out this video of Hillary not only saying that the troop surge is working, but also telling us that there is a new war coming. Call me old-fashioned, but I think we should mismanage one war at a time...

In case you thought Hamas was just about killing Jews and Americans, check out this clip from their new children's TV show...



We can only pray that the lion will one day break free from it's cage and enjoy a bee sandwich...

New York Yankee legend Phil Rizzuto passed away yesterday at the age of 89. My memories of Phil are mostly of him doing color commentary for the Yanks when they were pretty awful in the late 80's/early 90's. He was fun and silly, but most of all he could make any hit sound like a homerun, even when it was a pop-up to the second baseman. In a day when sportscasters over analyze and pontificate about everything, we could use more of his simple, care-free style.

Instead of saying, "So Long Scooter", which both the NY Post and Daily News have on their covers today, I'll just say say what Phil would've said on a routine grounder to short..."Holy Cow!"

And now a story about a nuclear device...

So on Friday night there was an unconfirmed report that there was a nuclear device somewhere on 34th street in Manhattan. I saw this report on the Channel Eleven News while having ice cream in New Jersey. (Why I was having ice cream in New Jersey is a story that is so convoluted I can't begin to get into right now) Anyhoo, we saw this report, made a couple jokes about it, and then hopped in the car and headed back to NYC. Needless to say, the nuclear device never went off, and we are all 100% intact.

The point of this undetonated nuclear device story is that we clearly have all become so desensitized to terror warnings that I got in a car and headed directly into NYC despite the chance that it wouldn't be there when I arrived. And it's just that kind of crazy, in-your-face bravado that makes us better than them, ain't it?

Take that terrorists!

Karl Rove, the architect of the Bush presidency, is stepping down later this afternoon. Frankly, he should've been fired after this little incident...



I had a good weekend. How was yours?

Hillary getting booed. Pretty sweet.



In other news, Barry Bonds, who also should be booed, is now the all-time home-run king. I find it interesting how few players will actually call him out on this steroids use considering the amount of evidence and the fact that two of his former trainers are now in jail. While I'm sure he is enjoying this moment in time, it must be tempered because of his small testicles...

I won't be a guest star on the show until 2009, but that's a sneak peak of what I'll look like when I'm on The Simpsons...

There's nothing quite like the democratic process in action...

This dog, who goes by the name King George, shot his owner in Tennessee. Google it, to find out how. I don't have to do everything, do I?