Folks, after a 5 week workin-like-a-regular person stint, I am officialy back in action.

My time promoting Verizon Wi-Fi is over and the hilarity can begin once again.

But first, some clerical things...

ComedyWorks in the big room has been a big success. Our opening night last Monday packed in about 150 people which, under normal circumstances is great, but the AC broke in the middle of the show, and there is nothign worse than comedy when people are sweating. We also had some audio problems and other logistical things, but we've since been knocking them out and the shows have been comign together once again. I think the coolest part of the room is that the windows surrounding the place allow people on 8th Avenue to see the show from outside - I don't know of any other comedy club that has anything like that but its defintely a nice touch.

Got a new cell phone today. Fancy color screen. When I was a kid we didn't have cell phones. And we didn't have color screens. We just had to yell as loud as we could from across the street. All in black and white.

I wonder how may people actually read these nonsensicle ramblings anyways? I got some random emails from people but I really have no idea. Are you reading this right now? Are you? Are you?

I've noticed that can no longer function without coffee in the morning. When I wake up I am like Jason from Friday the 13th - "Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill". Then, I have one little sip of coffee and I don't wanna kill anyone. Coffee is stopping me from killing, who woulda thunk?

So the new and improved ComedyWorks opens tonight. this weekend has been filled with building stages, setting lights, rearranging tables and writing a couple jokes. We had mentions in the NY Post and the Daily News this weekend, so everything should be rockin' tonight.

Here's my last plug...

ComedyWorks Big Room Grand Opening
TONIGHT, July 21, 2003
8:30 pm
On the corner of 45th and 8th
212.592.0341 for reservations

Be there or be square.

I haven't said that phrase since 1987. Oh, 1987 was a good time. 3rd grade. Had a crush on Amy Weinstein. My first Gi Joe v. transformer war took place in the basement of my house. Smoked crack in the dumpster behind school. Yea, those were the days.

Great news on the comedy front today. As of next Friday, ComedyWorks will be taking over all Joe Franklin's Restaurant. Basically, the shows have been such a success that we're gonna see what happens if we add another 50 or so seats. So, if your reading this come by on Friday or Saturday - drop me an e-mail before hand and I'll personalize a joke to each and every one of you.*

*Personal joke not guaranteed.

Working back at Verizon right now. They are making me do the tucked in shirt which is one of my most hated fashion things. I don't like doing the tuck, I don;t like seeing the tuck and I don't like people who like the tuck.

Spent a quality day with the family yesterday, without drinking. I know that goes against my proclamation made last week about always drinking when I'm around the family but everyone was on their best behavior yesterday, I think it was the weather. That or the joint we all passed around.

If you haven't checked it out yet, take a look at Tarunshetty.com. Tarun is a "comedic ally" of mine, as he puts it. Beware though, he is Indian, so if you think Kashmir should go back to Pakistan then you better steer clear of the site before his radical views get to you.

Thats it for now, Bob Juergens need to check his e-mail because he just signed up for lavalife. Pathetic, isn't it?

So one of the drawbacks of having an online journal is that people read it. Without getting into a whole long thing here, I'd like to publicly apologize to anyone named Warren that I've recently offended. I'd also like to apologize to the New York State Board of Education, my 7th grade english teacher, the Tuna Association of America, and everyone on the 1 train going downtown last Friday when I farted during rushhour.


You'll be happy to know I'm now officially 2 months off of Chapstick. Its been rough, and I do have to check into the Methadone clinic 2 or 3 times a week still, but I think I'm off that stuff for good. Hilarious bit on said subject forethcoming.

Bought some pants at Urban Outfitters yesterday. Maybe I'll buy a shirt today.

Yea, a shirt, nobody can stop me.