Close Encounters of the Political Kind

New reports say that the democrats are consulting Steven Spielberg to help them rebrand themselves. So far the only thing he has offered up is to make Nancy Pelosi look more alien-like, though her plastic surgeon says that is scientifically impossible.

Here are several other jokes that would've worked there:

• He has recommended that like ET, Harry Reid hide in a child's closet until it is safe to come out. (Better right before the election.)
  
• He told house democrats to shape their mashed potatoes into Tea Party Republicans and then smash them.
• Mentioned that they might want to stop referring to President Obama as "the Minority Report" president.
• He reversed roles with them and asked for help rewriting the end to "AI."
• He told them to get the names of the people on Schindler's List and ask for campaign donations.

Got any more for me? Did I skip something glaringly obvious?

Election Erection

The country turned mostly red last night as the Republicans picked up a ton of seats in the House and a bunch of seats in the Senate. Blue now seems only to exist in the Northeast and West Coast, which makes me wonder why Democrats usually seem to live near water. I've always said gay people lived near water for an easy escape, and I guess it now applies to Democrats as well.

I'll gladly listen to other theories on the matter.

It seemed election night was more about the media coverage than the actual results themselves. FoxNews was like a giddy group of obnoxious kids, while MSNBC was a bunch of snarky, whining babies. I actually watched the least of CNN, which must have set some kind of record for "most pundits with the least interesting things to say" ratio.

I'm still a little confused as how having partisan pundits discussing election results counts as election coverage in the first place. They all just give party talking points and regurgitate the same BS that the other guys say when the shoe of power is on the other foot. I found many of the people I follow on Twitter far more insightful than the 20 people had CNN locked in The Situation Room last night. (Though my sources say that had quite and after-party in there including Paul Begala doing body shots off of Candy Crowley.)

Anyway, like all of them, I had watched, commented, tweeted about it and will continue to do so. I guess that's the real state of social media and politics in a America in 2010. It can keep us all busy enough with our own opinions that by the time the other guy clicks send on his tweet you're already 128 characters into your next one.

#RubinPalin2012

#joke

#orisit

Stiff Upper Lip (And Brow)

The hot rumor in Washington at the moment is that if the Democrats lose their majority in the House that Nancy Pelosi will retire. I'll do more of a political roundup tomorrow, but this does make me ponder one question: Does the House retirement plan include Botox?

Cause if not, I could see her stringing this thing out a couple more years...