Bill Back, Barack Bounced

Bill Clinton may have just begun his third-term in office. Don't think it's possible? Let's go to the videotape...

Not only does Bill say, "Please go" as he waves his hand at the President, but check out how comfortably and seamlessly he takes the next question and leans on the podium as if to say, "Yea, you all know I still got it."

No word whether he'll be shacking up with Michelle tonight...

One Hand Scans the Other

Here's a story that sums up everything you need to know about politics and cronyism in 2010.

Former Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff represents the company that is selling the scanners Homeland Security is buying for the airports. Seems like with three cable news channels we'd all know about that, right? Well, thankfully there is C-Span. (Now that's something you don't hear often.)

Tell 'em, Representative John Duncan of Tennessee...

Iron Avatar Aliens Wars Man

Real-life Iron Man suits are now being tested by Raytheon Sarcos, a defense contractor in Utah. Frankly, I think the suit looks more like the thing Sigourney Weaver used in Aliens or what the general used in Avatar, but we'll stick with the Iron Man reference since that's what CNN went with here.

The name Raytheon Sarcos definitely sounds like it could've been a bounty hunter from Star Wars, though.

Now check out the future of war, or past of movies...

Election Erection

The country turned mostly red last night as the Republicans picked up a ton of seats in the House and a bunch of seats in the Senate. Blue now seems only to exist in the Northeast and West Coast, which makes me wonder why Democrats usually seem to live near water. I've always said gay people lived near water for an easy escape, and I guess it now applies to Democrats as well.

I'll gladly listen to other theories on the matter.

It seemed election night was more about the media coverage than the actual results themselves. FoxNews was like a giddy group of obnoxious kids, while MSNBC was a bunch of snarky, whining babies. I actually watched the least of CNN, which must have set some kind of record for "most pundits with the least interesting things to say" ratio.

I'm still a little confused as how having partisan pundits discussing election results counts as election coverage in the first place. They all just give party talking points and regurgitate the same BS that the other guys say when the shoe of power is on the other foot. I found many of the people I follow on Twitter far more insightful than the 20 people had CNN locked in The Situation Room last night. (Though my sources say that had quite and after-party in there including Paul Begala doing body shots off of Candy Crowley.)

Anyway, like all of them, I had watched, commented, tweeted about it and will continue to do so. I guess that's the real state of social media and politics in a America in 2010. It can keep us all busy enough with our own opinions that by the time the other guy clicks send on his tweet you're already 128 characters into your next one.

#RubinPalin2012

#joke

#orisit

Honesty is the Best Rarely Used Policy

I've been wanting to get to this one all week, but between the Six Pack, bumping into Jerry Seinfeld and Joy Behar's birthday, I just simply didn't have enough time.

(Cough, cough.)

The video below of Anderson Cooper taking profoundly dishonest Florida politician Alan Grayson to task over an attack ad his campaign put out. It's absolutely emblematic of why people are sick of politics and distrust pretty much everyone on both sides of the aisle.

Anderson does a great job here, "Keeping Them Honest." Grayson does a great job of being a smug douchebag. Here ya go...

Worst Gayest Week Ever

The media is ablaze over an awful gay week. Twitter and Facebook are all filled with people sharing thoughts on the seemingly endless bad news. MSNBC and CNN are going gay-crazy. FoxNews even eased up Tea Party coverage to mention some of what's been happening. I've been trying to wrap my head around it all before commenting.

OK, so first let's review what is going on...

• The Bishop Eddie Long scandal continues to ferment. He gives a sermon without denying the charges and gets a standing ovation to a packed crowd. One of his accusers talks to the media and clearly is telling the truth.
• Several gay suicides including a 13 year old boy who shot himself after being taunted for months for being gay and being a Buddhist.
• A seemingly closeted assistant Attorney General in Michigan is basically stalking and trying to destroy the life of a gay college student.
• Ann Coulter goes on Larry King Live spewing more garbage, a week after being paid by GOProud to spit anti-gay crap in their faces.
• Senator Saxby Chambliss had to fire a staffer who posted "all [gays] must die" on a gay blog.
  

There is probably more, but I'm feeling overloaded and I'm tired of copying and pasting links to terrible things.

Everyone on TV keeps asking why this is all happening and then bringing in therapists and professionals to discuss it. Dr. Phil managed to tell Anderson Cooper tonight that the Rutgers incident wasn't about straight or gay, anyone would have been equally distressed. Really doc? A straight guy would've jumped off a bridge after being caught in college having sex with a girl? Really? Really? College must've changed a lot since my days.

A huge part of the problem are the religious leaders who preach that gay is bad and then undoutably are gay themselves. (Love those iPhone self-pics of you by the way, Eddie.) And, also of course, all the anti-gay politicians who pass anti-gay legislation and are also gay. See Mark Foley, Charlie Crist, Larry Craig, Roy Ashburn, etc.

But another, and I think perhaps even bigger part of the problem, is that we still have virtually no gay role models out there in the media. Yes, we have some gay people on TV, usually to discuss gossip or fashion or to be the sidekick of a reality housewife, but we still don't have any real role models. Just having anything isn't always better than having nothing. And let me be clear, I have nothing against these people, and I'm not judging them at all. I hope they all are who they want to be and are happy, fulfilled people. The problem here is that on one hand the media only rewards gay people who seem to be fabulous, vapid, self-centered fashionistas, and then on the other hand wonders why no gay people have anyone to identify with out there. And then the media wonders why gay teens, who feel profoundly alone because they can't find someone to identify with, suddenly kill themselves.

So, naturally, Perez Hilton, the self-proclaimed "Queen of All Media" tweets about how awful this all is, and various groups start doing videos of celebrities saying it is okay to be gay. And yes, that is good, people seeing that there are people who say it is okay to be who you are. But at the same time everyone knows about all the closeted actors, musicians, TV personalities and news anchors, who all talk about the problem but don't practice what they preach. Instead they tacitly endorse something wrong with gay. And making videos about suicide keeps the focus on suicide, so then all you see on TV are more stories about suicide, and then the same fashionistas and closet cases who wonder why. It is all nobody's fault and everybody's fault at the same time.

It took me a long time in my life to get there, but I wanna say that generally speaking gay people are so much better than straight people. We're funnier, smarter, usually take better care of ourselves, wittier, and yes, even often happier. My gay friends are fun, alive, and engaging. My straight are generally boring and talk about the recession a lot. Sure, I know a couple good ones, my brother, my sister and my friend Jon happen to come to mind, but there aren't many more.

(Sorry straight friends, you guys really are pretty boring.)

I'm not perfect here by any stretch, but I really am trying to do my part in all this. I'm very, very gay. My job is to be gay, pretty much. On The Six Pack each week we talk gay news, we give our opinions, we talk to interesting gay people and allies, and play music by gay and gay-friendly musicians. We don't focus on the negative, something my fantastic on-air partner Ben has preached to me from the beginning, and something I'm only now realizing to be the right way to do things.

Anyway, if you're reading this I have a feeling you're better than all the stereotypes and generalizations. And if you're out of the closet, then you're already doing what Harvey Milk thought was the most important thing a gay person could do, just be seen and heard.

This was probably a bit disjointed and perhaps a little muddled, but being gay 24 hours a day can be exhausting.

You know what makes all of it better, though?

Two hours of The Golden Girls on WE Channel in HD.

Now excuse me, and thank you for being a friend...

Poor Anderson

The cable news ratings, via DrudgeReport:

CABLE NEWS RACE
MON. AUG 30, 2010
VIEWERS

FOXNEWS O'REILLY 3,977,000
FOXNEWS HANNITY 2,645,000
FOXNEWS BECK 2,600,000
FOXNEWS BAIER 2,097,000
FOXNEWS SHEP 1,858,000
FOXNEWS GRETA 1,856,000
MSNBC OLBERMANN 1,078,000
MSNBC MADDOW 1,027,000
MSNBC SHULTZ 699,000
CNN SANCHEZ 676,000
CNN KING 620,000
MSNBC HARDBALL 620,000
CNNHN GRACE 586,000
CNN COOPER 581,000

I guess this all begs the question, if you have a cable show and nobody watches, do you have a cable show at all?

(I look forward to finding out for myself one day. Kinda. Oh, you know what I mean...)

Do The Right Thing

The Prop 8 trial decision is going to be announced any minute now.

My sources say that each network has their own plan if the decision is reversed. MSNBC, being the gayest of the three, will most likely turn off the lights and pass glow sticks around. Fox News will shoot whatever anchor is on air, especially if it's Shep Smith, and CNN will shave Wolf Blitzer, live on-air.

My sources also say that if the decision stands that MSNBC will dedicate the rest of the day to Glen Beck bashing, Fox News will throw a keg party and CNN will shave Jack Cafferty. I'm not sure those all even make sense, but that's what my people are telling me.

No matter what happens, this will all just lead to more legal cases and probably will end up in the Supreme Court. Good thing that the maybe/kinda/sorta lesbian Elena Kagan is probably going to get confirmed.

Oh, and does anyone else still get confused which was YES on 8 and which was NO on 8? That's probably why so many people are upset about this whole thing.