rubinville

Entertainment Weekly came out with their Top 25 Funniest People issue and, quite shockingly, I was not on the list. I'm pretty sure it was because I didn't fill out my paperwork correctly, but I'll let you know as soon as I find out. Strangely, the people at the magazine haven't returned my e-mail, phone calls, nor carrier pigeon messages.

The Knicks just signed alcoholic basketball star Vin Baker for the remainder of the season. I don't get all these athletes that have drub habits. I mean I'm a comedian, I have to drink.

Apparently, the NHL is considering completely banning fighting because of that dude that got his head bashed in earlier this week. I don't watch hockey but I will say that if they take the fighting out of hockey I will continue to not watch hockey.

There, I said it.

Does it bother anyone that Halliburton, the company that Dick Cheney used to run, is now getting most of the oil contracts for the reconstruction of Iraq? Halliburton is now being investigated for over-charging on its services. That's gotta be a sticky situation for the VP, don't you think? I'm guessing some random people related to this will die strange natural cuase deaths over the next few months.

CNN is airing some special on the Dean Campaign which will focus on his ability to garner support from young people because of his use of the internet. This brings the total uses of the internet to three things. Porn, the Dean Campaign and Rubinville. Obviously, that's in no specific order.

There are comedy clubs opening all over the city and I've been getting random e-mails from comedians telling me how excited they are, like there is some comedy boom going on. Lemme be the first to say that this is no boom, its the internet of five years ago, and its gonna burst soon enough and a lot of people are gonna lose a lot of money. That doesn't include my new operation because I've surrounded myself with not only great comics but the right mix of people who understand the trends and truly have their passions in the right place. So, I'll try not to smile too much when the whole thing comes crashing down on the big name, huge-money clubs.

Ever take a dump that is so amazing you want to not flush because you want someone else to see it? Take it from me, the old lady who lives down the hall doesn't want to see.

I recently bought a comic book for the first time in about 10 years. I bought Transformers: Generation 1, Issue #2. I can't believe it but it turns out Starscream has a brother. Yup, a brother. His name is Sunstorm and he is a super bad dude. I don't know how a robot could even have a brother but that's neither her nor there. I have a feeling that they might team up to take down Megatron, but I don't think that we're here to dicuss internal Decepticon politics.

I wanted to get that phrase is really badly, as I try to get it in here once a month or so. That's gonna be the name of my one-man show, "Internal Decepticon Politics with Dave Rubin". Anyone wanna write that for me?