rubinville

My basketball team has officially been knocked out of the playoffs after a 60-50 defeat tonight, dropping our record to 6-5. We have one remaining game which will be more about pride than anything else. Hopefully we'll get a high draft pick, trade some players to create cap room, and come back strong for next season. Or maybe we'll pretend that we're a real NBA team and get stoned and buy Hummers and beat our wives.

Imitation is the best form of flattery, this is something I've really been trying to accept lately. That, and that I can't move a glass off a table just by staring at it, no matter how hard I concentrate.

Did you hear about this woman who tried to use a one million dollar bill at Wal-Mart? She want to only purchase about a thousand dollars worth of stuff and then get back a cool $999,000 from the lady at the cash register. That is simply just funny on it's own. I'll let the Leno writer's do all the quick one-liners.

April 16th, 2004, is looking like the official opening date for The Comedy Company NYC. I've been working hard at planning all the details and figuring out how to run it, manage it, and still be funny. Fortunately, as long as I have my woopie chushion and flower lapel that shoots water, I'll never have to worry about the latter of the three.

I just saw a hilarious McDonald's commercial where this guy says "I've decided to make some changes". And then they show him working out and at the office, doing all this stuff. Then they mention how Chicken McNuggets have changed because they are all-white meat now. Now, I haven't had the new McNuggets, and I'm sure they are delicious, but can someone explain to me why old people congregate at McDonalds at like 11 pm to drink coffee and eat those little pies?

Also, have you ever walked into a McDonald's in the middle of the day? It's like a homeless shelter except it smells worse and you'll be sicker once you leave.

I'll end with this one. Lately, I've been seeing the butler from the show, "The Nanny" walking around the neighborhood. I never really watched the show, but somehow I recognize him. Every time I pass him I feel like I shoudl go up to him and say something, like, "Hey, you're that guy on the show that I really never watched! But I'm sure you were as good, if not better than the butler on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air! Have a nice day geeves!"