rubinville

The NBA announced the suspencions for the criminals, err, players involved in the brawl in Detroit. Ron Artest is gone for the season, Stephen Jackson for 30 games and Jermaine O'neal for 25. NBA Commish David Stern looked like he aged about 15 years overnight while he was reading the verdict. Poor guy is wishing he had to deal with a Dennis Rodman crossdressing marraige to himself, I bet.

I think Artest's suspension is totally justified and legit. As for the other two, Jackson should also be gone for the season, he ran into the crowd indiscrimintely punching people. And Jermaine O'neal got about the right thing, though he should be thanking his Nike's that he slipped while punching that guy in the head otherwise that dude would probably be in a coma.

All in all, these poor pro atheletes who make millions of dollars to play a sport for a living acted like nothing more than a bunch of monkeys who got hoped on cocaine and then let out of their cages.

I just realized some people might be offended by that statement but I didn't mean it in any offensive way. I don't even know if a monkey's physiology would allow it to be affected by cocaine. It's just creative liscence.

Last thought on the brawl. As a stand up comic, I've seen people throw shit at comics, yell stuff about their mothers and everything in between. Finally, we all now have jutificated to jump into the crowd and start beating people. Thank you NBA.

In other news, I did a weekend up at Banana's Comedy Club in Poughkeepsie, New York. Shows were great and it was nice to get out of the city and see some of that green stuff, what the hell do they call it again? Oh, yea, grass.

Kirstie Alley now weighs 260 pounds and is "too fat for sex" according to Star Magazine. Those tabloids are really such nonsense. I had sex with Kirstie about a week ago and the sex was quite good. Well, except when she was on top, then it was just painful.

Okay, I need to go running I ate at Cracker Barrel yesterday and I accidentely drank a glass of gravy.