rubinville

Every now and again, usually after a particularly good set, girls come up to me and ask me to father their child. While I'm flattered by the offer, I have consistently denied them the oppurtunity to do so because I'm not sure that I'm ready for such a great responsibility.

Much of my trepidation stems from the fact that for the past few months I have been unable to maintain proper PH levels in my fishtank. Ever since the blackout this past summer, the water has just been slightly off, and despite using all the chemicals known to man, several water changes, and even sifting the gravel, I just can't get this PH to stay at 7. Several fish have gotten sick or even died in the process, and quite frankly, I don't know if there is much else I can do. I've even tried drinking the water to test it and it tastes just fine. Actually with a little twist of lemon its pretty damn good.

Anyways, until I resolve this problem, I cannot become a father. I'm sorry.

In other news, I wasn't traded by the NBA trading deadline, though apparently the Atlanta Hawks offered 2 draft picks and cash for me, because my contract is about to expire and they want to use my slot to sign a big free agent.

I love Bill Cosby, I mean the man is my comic hero, but what in the hell was he thinking when he brought cousin Pam into the last season of The Cobsy Show? I mean, I know Rudy got too ugly to show on TV, but I still think it was a bad choice.

The Yanks got Alex Rodriguez. As a Yankee fan, I guess I'm happy about it, but this insane payroll they are amassing is obviosuly wrecking the sport. How can the small market team compete? I heard that the Milwaukee Brewers have so little money they pay there players in beer and cheese.

You don't want to know how long it took me to figure out how to spell Milwaukee.