I was just flicking the channels and I foolishly stopped on "Soul Plane". Then, no joke, my cable box suddenly froze-up and now I can't change the channel unless I unplug the TV.

There is no god.

Listening to Howard Stern's first show on Sirius Radio as I write this. I didn't hear this part live, but apparently Howard named George Takei from Star Trek as his new announcer. A gay man, Howard Stern and a stripper all in one room. Only on satellite radio, folks.

The main headline on Drudge Report today is, "Feds Fear Terrorists May Go To Outerspace." Seems to me like that'd be a pretty good place for them to go, but maybe I'm missing something.

Oh no, Howard is trying to find out about George Takei's first sexual experience in the Boy Scouts. Maybe complete freedom isn't really a good idea.

I finally got to see "King Kong" the other night. Overall, it was a pretty good movie, though it easily could've dropped 45 minutes and not lost anything. One thing I'd like to know is how they got Kong back to NYC, when few minutes before they were throwing pots and pans over the boat because it was too heavy. That's the thing about me, I can accept a giant gorilla fighting dinosaurs in a secret land-before-time, but I just have a hard time accepting boat-weight issues.

Back to Stern for a second. In case you were wondering, George Takei no longer does anal.

In world news, five more people were infected with bird flu in Turkey. Coincidenally, five more people were infected with turkey flu in Bird.

I'm gonna finish up listening to Stern and I'll check in later. I have a feeling that they're about to delve into Nichelle Nichols' sex life...

Pat Robertson is an idiot.

I know that's not really controversial, or even new, but I think it's always warranted to say. This time he is telling people that the reason that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a stroke is because Sharon gave Gaza to the Palestinians. Now, I haven't spoken to God directly lately, but last time we chatted he told me that he doesn't deal directly in the affairs of humans. Then he threw a pair of dice which came up on a three and a two. Next thing I knew Hurricane Katrina hit.

Yea, that doesn't make much sense. But the point is that I don't know how the universe works, and either does Mr. Robertson.

Oh, that reminds me, God, if you're reading this can you help me out with the Nets-Magic game tonight? I've got the Nets by 7, and I know you're all about fixing sports games.

In case you're wondering I did end up going with fajitas last night. Steak instead of chicken. Yea, things are pretty good these days.

So my new years resolution of not watching TV shows that annoy me is going quit well. I almost stopped on "Dancing with the Stars 2" last night, but I was able to pull out at the last second. Really, there a better, safer method than pulling out?

It's my grandma's 85th birthday on Saturday. I've been racking my brain trying to think of something to get her. Right now it's a toss up between X-Box 360 or a nice scarf. Argh, decisions, decisions.

Watching Howard Stern on Larry King Live from last night. DVR is really a great thing. I'll have some thought about the interview in my next post. I will say now however, that Larry King's suspenders are quite insane.

Actually, I'm gonna get going because this interview is pretty interesting AND I can fast forward through commercials. Who said dreams can't come true?

I'm so impressed that we were able to get that video up that I'm treating myself to a little Mexcian Food tonight. What will I order? Tacos? Burritos? Enchildas? Perhaps I'll have one of each.

Nah, it's gonna be fajitas. I just love those sizzling plates...

I'm not sure if this is gonna work, but if you see this then I guess it did. Click play on the video above, it's a little 3 minute clip that I send to people when they want to see my wide array of talents.

Don't worry, the video is appropriate for work. My XXX clip is only sent out via regular mail.

I can't really think of anything to write at the moment but I did promise to come back today, so here I am. Hmm, ummm, so how are you doing? How's the family? Did you ever get that thing you wanted? I sure hope so.

I hope you're enjoying the black picture there, which represents the nothingness going on in my head at the moment. It's not bad, really. I'm not depressed or anything. If anything, I'm feeling particularly good at the moment, just not with much to write about.

Oh, I can tell you what I ate today. I had Berry Blast Cheerois for breakfast, some leftover pasta for lunch and a turkey sandwich for dinner. I probably should've switched the pasta and turkey, but someone told me you shouldn't eat pasta late in the day, and I do whatever someone tells me.

Hmm, in other news I'm watching "Titanic" on HBO right now, fortunately with the mute button on. Those moron orchestra guys are still playing while the ship is sinking. They must've made mad cash on cruise gigs back then.

Whoa, suddenly this is turning into an actual post. Let's see, what else? Well, I just had a glass of iced tea, so now I have an empty glass next to my computer. I probably should take it off the desk so it doesn't leave a mark, but since there is no liquid in the glass I'm just not gonna worry about it right now.

I forgot Kathy Bates was in Titanic. Remember that nude scene she did in that movie with Jack Nicholson? I can't remember the name of the movie, but I have her ass engrained in my head forever.

Oh, I just found a 15% off coupon if you spend 125 bucks at Banana Republic. Anyone want it?

It's getting about that time where I need to cut my toes nails. I might push it for another day or two, but defintely not after that.

Alright, that's it. This whole post has been taxing beyond human imagination.

Or has it?

I'd like to apologize for the sporadic posting since I've been back from Texas. The thing is, I've become hopelessly addicted to Berry Blast Cheerios. All I can do is eat them, think about eating them, and plan on getting a new box of them. As a matter of fact, I'm eating some right now. I'm gonna head out and get some more now but I'll have a lengthier posting upon my return...

Tried to see King Kong tonight. See that grumpy face that Kong is making in that picture? It's the same one I made when I got there only to find out that the movie was sold out. Damn people with their need to get out of the house.

So New Year's Eve was a ton of fun. Went to a hyper-trendy party at a hyper-trendy hotel in the Meatpacking District. Drank at a hyper-speed pace which then led to January 1st going hyper-slow and hugely hungover. Good times, indeed.

Oh, I forgot to tell you my resolution. I'm no longer going to visit websites or watch TV shows purely because they drive me insane. That might not sound like much but it is for me. I'm just hoping that none of you folks have a similiar resolution.

That resolution didn't include me getting angry when I saw that not only King Kong was sold out, but also all remaining showings of Cheaper By The Dozen 2. It also doesn't include me watching or visiting the Fox News website. I do that purely for comedic purposes.

On a personal note, I'm wearing a new pair of sweatpants right now. No underwear.

As long as I'm getting personal, I should also tell you that I purchased a humidifer over the weekend. My nasal passages haven't been this open since I was in the womb.

Speaking of personal, my cousin Adam, who is a personm, and also one of the founders of Gadgetell (which I conveniently link to on the right), is currently en route to the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. The CES is where all the tech companies show off what the fancy electronic gadgets of tommorrow are. I've asked him to pick me up a Playstation 4. Yes, that's right a PS4. I'm skipping the PS3 altogether. Sort of like how Bill Cosby skipped the first five movies before making "Leonard Part 6."

Hmm, I wonder if Leonard Part 6 is on In-Demand. Gotta go...