rubinville

Here's a worldly event update...

Dan Rather is about to officially sign off from the CBS news desk. In an interview Donald Trump says he would have told Rather "You're fired" a long time ago. Fortunately, for Rather he isn't a contestant on a tired reality show, he's just the host of a made-up news show.

Syrian President Bashar Assad says his country will move it's troops mostly out of Lebannon. While some say this shows that his grip of power over Lebannon and even Syria is beginning to dissipate, it didn't appear to worry Assad who, after the announcement, went to one of his many palaces and made his many female servents fondle him.

Boy George is upset at Madonna because she is a practicer of Kaballah which considers homosexuality to be a sin. He says it is hypocrital of her because she enjoys such great support from the homosexual community and has even kissed Britney Spears. I don't understand what that has to do with Boy George, though. What right does he have to speak out on gay issues? It's not like he's gay or anything.

Sammy Sosa got ejected in his second pre-season game with the Baltimore Orioles for arguing balls and strikes. After being ejected he took his corked bat and his steroids and watched the game from the clubhouse where some of his many female servants fondled him.

The Michael Jackson trial continues much to the delight of all the major news channels. Now there is a rumor going around that Michael doesn't even exists and that he is just a creation of Fox and CNN to keep their ratings up. Others say he is just a scary figment of our imaginations, like the Boogeyman or LaToya Jackson.

Martha Stewart is free and is suddenly becoming a media darling by giving out fresh homeade bread iced tea to the many media member camped outside her home where she is under house arrest. Despite her new image, she still has to wear the device to ensure she doesn't leave the property. Basically, the way it works is the further she gets from her property the more that the device injects the 100 percent pure evil that was once in her back into her bloodstream.

In a related story, the Pope, who is currently in a hospital after having surgery, recently waved to his followers from the window. He then made the sign of the cross and dangled a baby out of the window.