rubinville

Well this baseball steroid scandal continues to deepen. First Giambi, then Sheffield, now Bonds. Some people say this situation is just indicative to baseball and thus not a major problem but I have inside info about a certain comedian who is using steroids and thus can take the microphone out of the stand faster than any other comic. This consistently lets him get to the coveted first laugh faster than anyone else, and in unquestionably highly unethical. Who is this pill-popping comic? Stay tuned for more info.

You gotta love Bonds' statement that he didn't know what he was taking he just took it. I mean if someone walked up to me on the street and was like, "Hey dude, take swallow some of this, and rub some of this on yor knees, its good shit", would I do it? Well, yes, I would. But I'm not a professional baseball player, and I think they should have better sense than me.

Jon McEnroe's talk show on CNBC was cancelled today. That's so sad that a tennis player couldn't make it as a talk show host. Maybe they'll have to start giving talk shows to people who spend years and years in comedy clubs actually working through and perfecting their craft. That would be crazy I say, crazy.

I'm watching FoxNews right now (as you all know I am a right-wing zealot) and they are about to do a story that brings Chistian and Jewish traditions together in a segment they call Chismakkuh. Brilliant.

My roomate is gone on vacation for the week and it is truly unreal how quickly I can take a nice clean apartment and turn it into a dirty den of filth when I don't have to keep it clean for anyone else. I'm actually sitting in a strange combination of gatorade, potatoe chips and some sort of green goo.

Been back at Joe Franklin's Comedy Club while the Comedy Company is shut down till January. It's been interesting going back to my old haunt and feeling like the old, grizzled veteran to the newer, younger comics who are there now. I start most of my conversations with, "Back in my day, we didn't even have a stage, we just stood on our tippy toes..."

Got basketball tonight, I'm working on a new baseline-spin move. I'll let you know how it works out.

It's raining out and I can't find my umbrella. Why even wake up in the morning?

I think UN Secretary General Kofi Annan should step down. No, not because of the Oil For Food Scandal, I just don't like the name Kofi. Sounds shady.