rubinville

According to Drudgereport.com, John Kerry and wife Theresa got into a big fight last night in Flagstaff, Arizona, and ended up sleeping in different hotel rooms. My sources tell me that Theresa enjoyed not sleeping next to an "emotionless, cold, stiff" and instead cuddled up to a "warm, fluffly and cozy pillow" all night.

Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes was arrrested last night for supposedly lunging into two cops outside an east side restaurant here in Manhattan. Yea, its good to see with terrorists trying to blow the city to smitherines that cops are protecting us from those crazy 86 year old TV anchors. I have nightmares about them.

So Mary Kay LeTourneau is trying to get back with the boy who fathered her child when he was 12 years old. I really don't know why everyone is makking such a big deal about this whole situation. I mean back when I was a kid everyone slept with at least one teacher. Actually, I slept with 2 teachers, the school nurse, the librarian, the ice cream man and a priest.

The priest was the only really disturbing one...because I'm not even Catholic.

Thank you very much. I'll be here all week, don't forget to try the veal.

Some dude in San Fransisco faked his own beheading and posted it on the Kazaa file sharing sservice to show the media that they shouldn't just swallow all of the terrorists videos withouth checking the facts. Some people are saying that this kid just did us a great service, while others are saying he is just some wacko. One thing we can all agree on however, is that Kazaa has some pretty great porn.

I've become completely and wholly addicted to Jamba Juice. The Orange Dream Machine is like crack to me. Someone help me. Someone. Please. I need help.

Thousands of people continue to die of starvation or are being slaughtered in the Sudan. What has the world come to when Muslims are killing Muslims? It's like the Iran-Iraq war all over again. Hmm, I can't think of the funny part, maybe something about Sadaam having mustard gas?

CBS is getting good summer ratings for Charlie Sheen's "Two and a Half Men". I've never seen it, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it is no "My Two Dads".

Whatever happened to the guy who wasn't Paul Rieser anyways?

Come to think of it, what happened to Paul Rieser?