George Lukas, the only person pictured above who has never won an Oscar, has officially announced a new Star Wars TV series. The show will be about the expanded Star Wars universe, and there will be nobody named Luke, Anakin or Yoda in it. I'm sure it's going to be amazing stuff and will further push the technological limits of what filmmakers can do. Maybe I can make a guest-cameo as the first Jedi/comedian.

Actually, I think I'd rather be a Sith Lord. Darth Comicus has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Now back to news in our universe. I get a little sick in the stomach anytime I see Bill and Hillary hugging. It's not totally nauseating like when Al Gore kissed Tipper, but it's still pretty bad. Actually, the whole thing is kinda sad, you know poor Bill just wants a BJ, and instead the only human contact he gets is hugging a robot in front of big crowds.

Did I need to capitalize "BJ" right there? I'm not sure, but I guess that's just how strongly I feel about the issue.

I'm thinking a second post later today. Let the guessing game begin...

Rudy will even have us prepared for an alien attack...



Come 'n get us, Klingon's....

If you've ever seen anyone look cooler while drinking coffee, I'd like to hear about it...

I caught just enough of the Republican debate last night to be reminded that these people are all freakin' lunatics. Ironically, the one guy who I don't think is a lunatic, Ron Paul, is framed as a lunatic by everyone else, including the media. Yea, it's a fine political system we got here.

Rudy and George Hamilton, err, I mean Mitt Romney, got into a spat over who lowered more taxes when they were in office. They both spouted out a bunch of numbers which means that one of them or both of them is lying. While we'll probably never know the truth, my sources tell me that John McCain was spotted asking Romney which brand he uses for that oh-so healthy glow. Romney refused to answer directly, but did say that he lowered the price of Loreal Sunless Tanning lotion three more times than Rudy did while in office.

As I mentioned yesterday, I saw Joy Behar at the Zipper Theatre last night. No surprise, she was great - riffing on politics, her family and celebrity culture. She is herself, she tells the truth, and, of course, is funny - the three main things that any comic should aspire to do. While I knew that before, watching someone really own it, especially when you're sitting in the front row, can make it all the more obvious.

Now excuse me, I got a lot of work to do...

I'm going to see Joy Behar tonight at the Zipper Theatre in midtown. I'll be sure to ask her why she is holding Robin Williams' package in the picture above.

Full report tomorrow...

Everyone is making a big-woop, pun-intended, about Whoopi Goldberg's comment to Nancy Pelosi on The View today, effectively saying she'd like to have sex not only with Nancy's husband, but with Nancy herself.

I like Whoopi despite that rather grotesque image, but her comment did make me ponder something. What if the the sexes had been reversed in that situation? Like if David Letterman had Dick Cheney on the show and said that he'd not only like to bang Lynne but also Dick, too. Somehow that would seem far worse and I don't think it's simply because of the horrible image of a naked, pasty-white, Dick Cheney.

Or maybe it is...

ABC's new Caveman show debuts tonight, and I'd be willing to bet that it won't be nearly as good as any of the commercials, particularly this one...



Some things are just better done in 30 seconds.

(Insert sex joke here.)

Just read that the jury found that Isiah Thomas sexually harassed a former New York Knicks executive. How many more people in sports have to harass women/kill dogs/murder people/do drugs, etc., before ESPN launches a 24-hour legal channel?

Actually, they could just change ESPN2 to that, it's just spelling-bee's all day, anyway...

Joy Behar was on Larry King on Friday night. So, I was watching Larry King at 10 pm on a Friday night, what's it to ya???



I actually have a hilarious story about meeting Joy on the street last year, but I'm gonna wait til I'm on the show to reveal it. Yea, that's right, I'll be replacing Elisabeth Hasselbeck when she goes on maternity leave.

Watch TMZ.com pick up that little juicy bit of info and run with it...