Well, finally all this Reagan stuff has passed over. Last week was just a giant80's reunion, wasn't it? George Bush Sr., Magaret Thatcher, I'm pretty sure I saw Mr. Drummond sitting in the pews.

The one guy I felt bad for during the whole funeral was Gorbachev. I mean there he is sitting there while everyone gets up and talks about how Reagan stood up to evil and faced it down, an obvious reference to the USSR and the Cold War. At one point Gobachev elbowed the guy next to him and whispered, "Do you think they're talking about me?"

So last night I'm walking down the street and I see a green minivan with a ton of smoke coming out of it, but no fire. I get a little closer to look and the windows are tinted but it looks like a guy is inside. The smoke smelled kinda funky so I walked away. Then, because Bush keeps telling us to be vigilant, I decided to call 911 and tell them about the smoking truck with the tinted windows.

There were no major explosions last night so I guess that makes me a real American Hero.

John Kerry still hasn't picked a running-mate but whoever he chooses is basically a lame duck becaue he obviously wanted John McCain. That's why even I didn't accept his offer either.

I'm watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, right now. Truly an incredible movie especially when you consider it came out in 1969. It's almost 30 years later and we still don't have true artificial intelligence. Well, except for John Kerry. He's a robot right?

The news has been dominated by the death of Ronald Reagan for the past couple days. I've decided that my favorite news anchor on cable news is Darrin Kagin on CNN. She's smart and hot. In no particular order, of course. Wolf Blitzer comes in a distant second. He's pandering and ugly.

Larry Bird thinks the NBA needs more white players. Maybe someone should remind him that black people are better at basketball.

White people like sports, we're just not very good at them.

Disney stopped Mirimax from distibuting Michael Moore's new documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" so it got picked up by Lion's Gate Films instead. Apparently the Disney higher-ups didn't want to release a movie against the war and bashing GWB. Who woulda thought that Mickey Mouse was pro-war? Maybe we should've known when Disney renamed "It's a Small World After All" to "It's an American Colony and We Love Oil".

I beat Megatron in the Transformers Game on PS2 and thought I conquered the whole game only to find out now I have to go defend Cybertron against Unicron. First thought I need to collect at least 30 Minicons and I only have 24. A days work is never done.

Kick-ass shows continue to go on over at the Comedy Company. Don't believe me? C'mon down. And I don't like that attitude.

The part of stand up that anyone other that a comic cannot, or should not ever understand is how the highs and lows of it happen on a nightly basis. This past Friday I had 3 uninspired, very average sets. Then on Saturday I had 2 fully inspired, great sets. My mood followed the sets accordingly. That's something I'm working on, not letting the lows be too low, or the highs be too high. Fortunately there are many more highs, but it's something I'm working on either way.

And now some humor...

John Kerry announced yesterday that he is "very concerned" about a nuclear bomb going off somewhere in the United States. I don't know about a nuclear bomb, but I'm "very concerned" that John Kerry and George Bush are our only choices for President.

Pistons v. Lakers in the NBA Finals. I feel like it's 1989 all over again. Let's see, where was in in 1989? I was 13. Just got Sega Genesis. Spent a lot of time in my room with the door closed. A fine year, I say, a fine year.

I lost my one good pair of shorts. I don't know how I lost them seeing as I only take them off in my room. I wish I took them off other places, but I don't.

I'm still looking for a producer for my one-man show. I've actually have had two offers from people who read the Daily Dave, but one of them wanted to meet in a dark alley to discuss and the other wanted to know what size bra I wear.

32C, just for the record.

My fish tank has been completely decimated by that bastard craw-fish I put in there. He systematically nipped off all the goldfish, one catfish and a pleco. I tried to remove him myself but he snipped his claws at me and then spelled out, "Don't mess with me funnyboy" in the gravel.

My mom keeps telling me to be more like Billy Crystal and less like Lenny Bruce. Only problem is I just don't care about the pre-1985 Yankees that much.

Well, intelligence reports are now saying that al-queda is planning an attack this summer. Of course intelligence also said that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. It's almost like President Bush and intelligence shouldn't be said in the same sentence.

I don't want to just Bush bash on this thing, because there is no way in hell I'll vote for John Kerry. He reminds me of Ben Stein playing the boring teacher in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". "Bueller? Bueller?

I'm now battling Cyclonus in Tranformers on PS2. He's pretty powerful and I've already injured both thumbs trying to beat him. Anyone have any tips?

More great shows this week at the Comedy Company. We're really pushing each other to get better every night. People are picking up on the interactive style of comedy that we're bringing to the table. Now we just have to figure out the next step, whatever that is.

Did you see that block Tayshaun Prince had on Reggie Miller the other day? It's always sad seeing an old player unable to do things like he once could. Much like watching Rodney Dangerfield on The Tonight Show last week.

That was uncalled for, I apologize.

He couldn't remember any "I get no respect" jokes. Just sad.

I'm working on my one-man show but I really need a director. You interested?

John Kerry has flip-flopped once again, this time on his abortion stance. I find Kerry so pandering that I might just have to vote for the retarded man in the White House to remain President for another four years. Not that I have anything against retarded people.

The Nets lost game 7 to the Pistons last night thus ruining my prediction for the NBA Finals. I guess I'll have to turn to the WNBA now.

Ha.

More torture photos being released today according the the Washington Post. You can view all the pictures online at www.hotiraqisoldiersbeingtortured.com, or their sister site, www.americansoldiersgonewild.com

I put a craw fish in my fish tank and he has systematically eaten or mauled vietually every other fish in the tank. I hate him and yet I don't want to break his claws off, as the guy at Petland told me to do. Maybe I'll just eat him. Anyone know a good way to cook craw fish?

Watching Caddyshack 2 right now. Chevy Chase used to be so good. If they really didn't want kids to to drugs they'd show his early career vs. his career now to show what cocain can do to people.

McDonald's launched their Adult Happy Meals today. I don't know who will be buying these things but I don't know one adult who can eat McDonald's and then not end up feeling sick within 2 hours. Also, when they use the word "adult" it makes me think of an adult shop where they sell porn. So unless they are giving away porno movies or small dildo's in the happy meal, I think they should change the name.

I bought the Transformers game on PS2 and it is just confirming that I am now 16 anymore. I can't figure out the damn buttons and everytime I go to transform I end up jumping and everytime i go to jump I end up transforming. This is a real problem.

Chris Rock has dropped by the Comedy Company twice so far. He hasn't performed yet but I'm thinking it'll happen soon so I'll keep ya posted. The shows we've been having, particualrly on the weekends have really been awesome. The comics are focused and pushing themselves and our styles are blending into a great 2 hour show.

That was a public service announcement from the people at the Comedy Co. The thoughts and ideas in that reflection do not necessarily represent the thoughts of the people over here at Rubinville.

The Dick Van Dyke Show Reunion is on this week. Isn't it funny that there was a show with the words dick and dyke in the title?

John Kerry warned his rivals not to attack his wife Teresa Heinz. He said he would stop the supply of ketchup and related condiments to anyone's hometown who says a bad word about her.

Some Nuns in Boston are now under investigation for molesting a bunch of kids over the course of 30 years. That's just great now the Nuns too. Does anyone working for God not molest children? Makes you think God is just a figment of everyone's imagination that religion capitalized on to control and repress our thoughts so that otherwise good people would start doing insanely evil things.

I'm making a temporary switch from iced tea to lemonade for the next few days.

Well folks, after about 2 years I've finally put up some new video on the site. It's just a little 6 minute clip, but quite hilarious if I do say so myself. I taped it with my handheld camera so the video is a little off, but I'm working on getting up some other new video soon. No need to thank me, it's all for you, the fans.

So Major League Baseball is going to put the Spiderman 2 logo on bases of games during a weekend in June. Now there is this out cry against baseball selling-out. Between that and the steroids thing baseball could be in real trouble. Let's just hope Barry Bonds doesn't get bitten by a radioactive spider, then all hell could break loose.

There hasn't been a death in my aquarium in over 5 days. That's a 6 month high.

Okay, nice day out, gotta take my 1:12 pm stroll.

And now, after a slow month of entries, the Daily Dave is back by semi-popular demand.

The big news this week is that some of our soldiers tortured Iraqi prisoners. There are even pictures of Iraqi's having electrodes attached to their genitals with paper bags over their heads. I don't know what is torture about that, it sounds more like a Saturday night in the East Village.

In other news NYC taxi fares have just had a 26 percent hike. Drivers claimed they need the money because of their high cell phone bills.

The Transformers game on Playstation 2 comes out next week. Nothing funny about that, just important information.

If you haven't checked out the shows at the Comedy Co. yet, come on down and get your laugh on. The shows, especially on the weekends, have been totally kick ass, and the quality of comedy and overall atmosphere is really great.

That was very corny.

NBC's hit show "Friends" ends this week. The geniouses at NBC are spinning off the show into "Joey" much like "Frasier" was spun off "Cheers". I'm sorry I put so many words in quotes in that sentence.

The Yankees have no swept 2 series' in a row after losing all those games to the Red Sox. That affects me in no way whatsoever.

Why is it major news when 2 panda's mate? I never get on CNN for mating with a panda.

Wait, that came out wrong.