Bumped into Conan O'Brien while walking the Upper West Side earlier today. We talked for a few minutes and he was very cool. He gave me the name of the person who books comedians on the show, so an e-mail has already be sent, now we wait and see.
Why do I keep getting Instant Messages from girls who want to show me their live webcam? And how do they always know that I'm a stud? It's like they're psychic.
The PH in the fishtank is a little low, about 6.4 now. What is PH? What does it stand for? Why is it so important? So many questions, so few answers.
OK, time to go, The Simpsons are on --- The one thing in the universe funnier than me.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Monday, October 20, 2003
World Series is looking pretty good so far, although even as a Yankee fan I don't really care after that zany series with Boston. NBA starts in a few weeks and I'm still unsigned. Yea, that's right, I'm still without an NBA team. What's going on here? I'll even play for the veteran minumum.
The Democrats are having some presidential debate in a couple days. Do any of them know that the election is over a year away? Do any of them know that nobody watches these things anyway? Do any of them know that they are all highly dorky?
Bought new shoes over the weekend.
Also bought a Swifer, which gets more dust off the floor than anything I've ever seen. It also collected a disturbing amount of human hair, I'll have to look into that.
We're looking for alternative ways to promote ComedyWorks, so if you have any ideas please let me know. As it gets colder out I don't realyl want to keep the comics out there barking. Plus, the shows have been really good lately, we just need some publicity. Maybe I'll do some sort of hostage situation or something.
The DC Sniper is going to defend himself in court. I know there is a good joke about this, give me a a day or two.
The Democrats are having some presidential debate in a couple days. Do any of them know that the election is over a year away? Do any of them know that nobody watches these things anyway? Do any of them know that they are all highly dorky?
Bought new shoes over the weekend.
Also bought a Swifer, which gets more dust off the floor than anything I've ever seen. It also collected a disturbing amount of human hair, I'll have to look into that.
We're looking for alternative ways to promote ComedyWorks, so if you have any ideas please let me know. As it gets colder out I don't realyl want to keep the comics out there barking. Plus, the shows have been really good lately, we just need some publicity. Maybe I'll do some sort of hostage situation or something.
The DC Sniper is going to defend himself in court. I know there is a good joke about this, give me a a day or two.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Some dude sticks his hand out trying to catch a foul ball and now the entire city of Chicago wants to kill him. This, ladies and gentlemen, is very definition of funny.
Steve Bartman is now public enemy #1.
I'd go so far as to say that if the Cubs don't win game 7 tonight, that Bartman won't make it out of the weekend alive.
Talk about irony. I mean the guy is obviously such a huge Cubs fan that he is the guy that goes to the game in a Cubs hat and listens to the game on his walkman so he can hear the play-by-play. And now he might've cost them a shot at the World Series. This guy is gonna have one tough time getting a date in Chi-Town.
I'm watching Saved by the Bell right now. A young Tori Spelling is playing Violet, Screech's girlfriend. It is one of the most emotionally heartwrenching episodes of television I've ever seen.
Cosby is on next. Not The Cobsy Show, but Cosby. What was he thinking with that show anyway? And how did he think he was gonna get away with having Felicia Rashaad as his wife on two different sitcoms? Ahmad Rashaad must want to kill him.
Actually, Ahmad and Felicia has since gotten divorced. I heard it was because she like extra butter on her Pop-Secret Popcorn and he didn't like any butter.
Think that's all I've got for today. By the way I'm still searching for a good manager/agent. You can 30 days to discover me before I officially go at it alone. Over and out.
Steve Bartman is now public enemy #1.
I'd go so far as to say that if the Cubs don't win game 7 tonight, that Bartman won't make it out of the weekend alive.
Talk about irony. I mean the guy is obviously such a huge Cubs fan that he is the guy that goes to the game in a Cubs hat and listens to the game on his walkman so he can hear the play-by-play. And now he might've cost them a shot at the World Series. This guy is gonna have one tough time getting a date in Chi-Town.
I'm watching Saved by the Bell right now. A young Tori Spelling is playing Violet, Screech's girlfriend. It is one of the most emotionally heartwrenching episodes of television I've ever seen.
Cosby is on next. Not The Cobsy Show, but Cosby. What was he thinking with that show anyway? And how did he think he was gonna get away with having Felicia Rashaad as his wife on two different sitcoms? Ahmad Rashaad must want to kill him.
Actually, Ahmad and Felicia has since gotten divorced. I heard it was because she like extra butter on her Pop-Secret Popcorn and he didn't like any butter.
Think that's all I've got for today. By the way I'm still searching for a good manager/agent. You can 30 days to discover me before I officially go at it alone. Over and out.
Monday, October 13, 2003
I haven't written or even talked about this in about a year but for some reason it has been on my mind lately.
The Tom Hanks Thing.
Long story very short, Tom Hanks used a bunch of my jokes on the Tonight Show when he was promoting "Castaway" a couple years ago. It really brings up all these weird feelings for me to even think about it, but basically he did this bit, while sitting and talking to Leno (in the biz, its known as "panel"), about all these 80's toys, culminating in a bit about the Transformers.
If you ask most comics, bits are liften/stolen/raped all the time. However, when you see perhaps the most famous actor in the world doing your bit on the Tonight Show, versus an unknown hack doing your bit at 1:35 a.m. in a comedy club, there is a subtle difference.
My feelings about the whole thing were corraborated by a bunch of comics, who knew I was the only comic at the time doing such silly stuff as all those 80's toys. The story got a little blurb in Page Six of the New York Post, and Inside Edition came down to the Comedy Cellar to interview me about the story. I didn't know what the hell to do, and I really didn't want to be known as the comedian that attacked Tom Hanks, so I really let the whole thing drop.
After that is when I began my couple year adventure into telling no jokes while on stage. My new motto became "Just be funny". They could always steal my jokes, but they couldn't steal my funny.
I think I'm ready to talk about the whole fiasco on stage, and the aftermath of it, if I can figure out how to make it funny. Interesting, writing some jokes about why I can't really tell jokes. Lemme get on that.
The Tom Hanks Thing.
Long story very short, Tom Hanks used a bunch of my jokes on the Tonight Show when he was promoting "Castaway" a couple years ago. It really brings up all these weird feelings for me to even think about it, but basically he did this bit, while sitting and talking to Leno (in the biz, its known as "panel"), about all these 80's toys, culminating in a bit about the Transformers.
If you ask most comics, bits are liften/stolen/raped all the time. However, when you see perhaps the most famous actor in the world doing your bit on the Tonight Show, versus an unknown hack doing your bit at 1:35 a.m. in a comedy club, there is a subtle difference.
My feelings about the whole thing were corraborated by a bunch of comics, who knew I was the only comic at the time doing such silly stuff as all those 80's toys. The story got a little blurb in Page Six of the New York Post, and Inside Edition came down to the Comedy Cellar to interview me about the story. I didn't know what the hell to do, and I really didn't want to be known as the comedian that attacked Tom Hanks, so I really let the whole thing drop.
After that is when I began my couple year adventure into telling no jokes while on stage. My new motto became "Just be funny". They could always steal my jokes, but they couldn't steal my funny.
I think I'm ready to talk about the whole fiasco on stage, and the aftermath of it, if I can figure out how to make it funny. Interesting, writing some jokes about why I can't really tell jokes. Lemme get on that.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Okay, I'm back after a small, but effective killing spree in honor of Governor-Elect Arnold. Rumor has it that he felt up six unsuspecting women after his acceptance speech.
Rememeber in 7th grade when feeling up a girl was an accomplishment? Now you bump into a girl in the elevator and you get just as far.
If you haven't checked out Adam Hunter's website, jump on there at www.adamhunter.com. He's even got a little journal like this one where you can read about all the stuff that I forget about.
I'm thinking about ditching all my jokes again and starting to go back up there and just be funny, like I did for about 3 years before this past year. Is it possible to miss the good old days before you have gotten anywhere else?
I guess my joke about Arnold is no longer topical but I do still think having his twin brother Danny DeVito serve as Deputy Governor is pretty funny.
Could the Democrats have a more pathetic bunch of people running for President? Maybe I'll throw my hat in the ring. I only have one good hat, thought, forget it.
Rememeber in 7th grade when feeling up a girl was an accomplishment? Now you bump into a girl in the elevator and you get just as far.
If you haven't checked out Adam Hunter's website, jump on there at www.adamhunter.com. He's even got a little journal like this one where you can read about all the stuff that I forget about.
I'm thinking about ditching all my jokes again and starting to go back up there and just be funny, like I did for about 3 years before this past year. Is it possible to miss the good old days before you have gotten anywhere else?
I guess my joke about Arnold is no longer topical but I do still think having his twin brother Danny DeVito serve as Deputy Governor is pretty funny.
Could the Democrats have a more pathetic bunch of people running for President? Maybe I'll throw my hat in the ring. I only have one good hat, thought, forget it.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
So Rush Limbaugh thinks that Donovan McNabb is overratted because he is a black quarterback. I wonder if he would think that I'm overratted because I'm a black comic. Oh wait, I'm not black. Son of a bitch.
Speaking of black, I had a delicious black and white cookie the other day. I think the black and white is my favorite cookie.
I'v really had it with bands doing covers of other bands songs. Why do we let them get away with this? Imagine if a comedian tried to do a cover of another comedians joke? Oh wait, I think Robin Williams built a career on that.
(That was an inside joke mainly for comedians.)
(Sorry about that.)
(What's the point of these parenthesis?)
I need some coffee. Adios.
Speaking of black, I had a delicious black and white cookie the other day. I think the black and white is my favorite cookie.
I'v really had it with bands doing covers of other bands songs. Why do we let them get away with this? Imagine if a comedian tried to do a cover of another comedians joke? Oh wait, I think Robin Williams built a career on that.
(That was an inside joke mainly for comedians.)
(Sorry about that.)
(What's the point of these parenthesis?)
I need some coffee. Adios.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
"Well, Hurricane Isabel has hit land, and if you think naming a hurricane after a woman is sexist, then you've never seen the women at the sales rack at Bloomingdales."
I loosely stole that line from Kent Brockman, the newsman in The Simpsons, when a hurricane is about to hit Springfield.
Why is it that we have th need to send newspeople ou tto the middle of the storm. They look like complete morons as they stand out there in a raincoat and golashes. "It sure is rainy and windy out here." Hot damn, there's a hurricane and its rainy and windy. I can't believe it.
The ComedyWorks website is now up at www.nycomedyworks.com. We've also got major news about the club coming in the next few weeks. I'll have my press people writing up a very wordy release.
I loosely stole that line from Kent Brockman, the newsman in The Simpsons, when a hurricane is about to hit Springfield.
Why is it that we have th need to send newspeople ou tto the middle of the storm. They look like complete morons as they stand out there in a raincoat and golashes. "It sure is rainy and windy out here." Hot damn, there's a hurricane and its rainy and windy. I can't believe it.
The ComedyWorks website is now up at www.nycomedyworks.com. We've also got major news about the club coming in the next few weeks. I'll have my press people writing up a very wordy release.
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